Reddit reviews Being Mortal Illness, Medicine and What Matters in the End

DON'T WORRY CITIZENS!

Alice Miller, "The Drama of the Gifted Child"
> WAHHHHH! BEING SMART IS HARD!

Ta-Nehisi Coates, "Between the World and Me"
>Everyone's a little bit racist

Simone De Beauvoir, "The Ethics of Ambiguity"
>Existentialist navelgazing

Albert Camus, "The Plague"
> More existentialism, but this time people die

Brene Brown, "Daring Greatly"
>What if being some sort of cuck soyboy was actually kinda badass?

Atul Gawande, "Being Mortal"
> Killing them softly, with his loving take on the role of modern medicine in death.

Ali Rivzi, "The Atheist Muslim"
>Being an edgy teenager, but on "difficult" mode

Muhammad Yunus, "A World of Three Zeroes"
>Zero Poverty, Zero Unemployment, and Zero Net Carbon Emissions... also zero sex scenes.

ETA: short, possibly misleading synopses by someone who hasn't read these books.

Ars Moriendi, the art of dying, I feel, is often a lost concept in modern society.

Dying with dignity is an oft shunned topic of discussion, but when approached with a level headed understanding, can save tons of suffering for the dying, and even more than that, can save a lot of depression associated with people caring for the dying and their regrets about not making decisions that comforted the dying in their final days, weeks, months, or years.

It's a hard conversation for even doctors to have in industrialized nations, because the expectation is that everyone is just one medical miracle away from recovering some life they used to have, but the reality, in many cases, is that way of life may already be gone.

Expecting that way of life to come back and crazy interventions that may make the patient worse are something people often pursue towards the end, instead of accepting what they are facing, and living out the best life they can while they still have time.

If you are still reading this here, I would highly recommend the book Being Mortal by Atul Gawande as it has given me an unparalleled understanding of the expectations of aging, mortality, and dying, that I could never express as eloquently

One. The Drama of a Gifted Child by Alice Miller

Two. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Three. The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone De Beauvoir

Four. The Plague by Albert Camus

Five. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Six. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

Seven. The Atheist Muslim by Ali Rizvi

Eight. A World of Three Zeros by Muhammad Yunus

edit: numbers didn’t show

When you're done with those, may I recommend Being Mortal

Are you caring for your aging parents at your age?

I'm in my 50s caring for my mom in her 80s.

• Respect their stuff and never throw anything away without asking. If you lose their trust, you'll never regain it.
  
  
• Get them into a 55+ apartment. This is not assisted living, it is an apartment where there are others their age and activities they like to do. I means you are not their only friend.
  
  
• You might have to let them fall flat on their face (perhaps literally) before they will let you help them.
  
  
• Make sure they have a password sheet and you know about it.
  
  
• Work with them on a budget. You have to use all your powers of tact and persuasion to do this. Watch some videos on how to convince someone.
  
  
• Read Atul Gawande's Being Mortal.
  
  
• Read any book in your library about aging parents from downsizing, to decluttering to selling their home, etc.
  
  Good luck.

I recently read the book "Being Mortal", and I highly recommend it. It's a look at the very flawed way in which we view dying, medical care, and other end of life concerns. It was a very good read.

https://www.amazon.com/Being-Mortal-Illness-Medicine-Matters/dp/1250081246

I completely agree. There are two topics the whole:
>The most important part is not a conviction but staying alive.

thing reminds me of.

1 - Daniel Khaneman in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow discusses the differences between the experiencing self and the remembering self. Briefly, the way we experience an event is very (very) disconnected from the way we remember and event.

Prioritizing survival of rape suggests that the memory of rape is less painful than the experience of rape itself. Arguments to the contrary get into territory of suicide, which is just as hard to discuss as the topic of rape.

2 - Atul Gawande in his book Being Mortal talks a lot about people diagnosed with terminal illness. For some, the focus of their lives becomes less about survival and more about controlling the narrative of their story, and how they're remembered.

At the point of diagnosis, many people will opt for painful chemo/radiation even for an extremely slim chance of a few extra years/months. Others disregard treatment and focus on controlling the parts of their lives they value the most - friends, family, unfinished projects. The latter group understands they're possibly shortening their lives, but choose to do so in order to retain control of their life story.

>We can say -I'd do this or I'd do that, but we don't know.

You're 100% right. I have no real idea what I'd actually do in the situations this thread talks about. I know what I hope I'd do.

>Let's hope none of us ever find out!!

I concur!

Everybody should read Atul Gawande's Being Mortal.