Reddit reviews Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life

That's a really tricky situation. I feel for ya.

Yeah, I don't think anyone likes being told what to do... in general, we all get defensive and push the other person away. Probably not what your looking for. Support and empathy is probably the best you can offer.

I've personally found DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) to be amazingly helpful. It's basically mindfulness, emotional and relational skills. Good for anyone's (with or without a diagnosis) emotional intelligence. You could learn some DBT techniques and guide her through them when you see her hurting. One of the skills is distraction until the trigger passes. Another is naming the emotion. You could ask... do you feel angry? do you feel sad? Help her validate what she's feeling.

I recommend this book:
Calming the Emotional Storm

Another approach might be to suggest she seek help for her trauma.
I personally have a PTSD diagnosis only (no BPD). Therapists tend to be very gentle with PTSD patients. Therapy for PTSD can be incredibly supportive and validating... and in the long run help with BPD symptoms.

Wish you and your friend the best.

There are also books you can buy that explain cbt therapy and have plenty of exercises.

https://www.amazon.com/Calming-Emotional-Storm-Dialectical-Behavior/dp/1608820874/ref=sr_1_1?crid=144ZF786QXEUR&keywords=calming+the+emotional+storm&qid=1565134082&s=gateway&sprefix=Calming+the+%2Caps%2C203&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_2?crid=144ZF786QXEUR&keywords=calming+the+emotional+storm&qid=1565134082&s=gateway&sprefix=Calming+the+%2Caps%2C203&sr=8-2

I bought these a few months ago when I was feeling down and they helped. Just remember emotions come and go and you won’t feel like this forever. Being pregnant is especially hard because hormones but you have the most wonderful thing ever to look forward to! I wish I could relive that very special time in my life!

It did start out for DBT and when used for that, has a really structured approach. But the basic skills are useful for most people who can get overwhelmed by their emotions. And don’t we all sometimes?

I’m currently reading “Calming the Emotional Storm” which is written for a more general audience. You might like that one better. The author gets right to the point and talks about concrete skills in a very logical, doable way.

Hi there. I'd say that the symptoms you describe are a normal reaction to what should be an abnormal event; at the same time, it's no way to live. You shouldn't have to struggle with these thoughts and feelings every day.

It sounds like you are managing incredibly well, especially given how much your daily life is affected by what you've been through. Seriously, well done.

Personally, after I was hurt I poured even more energy into my work (it was my first 'real' job out of uni). I moved to a new neighbourhood, had terrible nightmares/flashbacks and constantly had the event on my mind, but at the same time I actually excelled in the work sphere. I was promoted several times and given raises etc... however, as you say, I was tired. Eventually, at about the three-year mark, I became so drained that I couldn't keep it up, and the situation began to reverse - my work suffered more and more and my personal life all but disintegrated. It was a profound exhaustion like I'd never known. By the time five years came, I was at the end of my rope. I had to take a full year off of work to focus on processing the trauma and rebuilding my life.

The reason I'm sharing this is to let you know that you're not alone, but also to warn you that if it is still affecting your day-to-day life this much, it's unlikely to go away on its own without some kind of intervention. Please do keep living your life and be very proud of everything you are accomplishing, but also be cautious of burnout. Even the strongest, most intelligent person has a limit to what they can endure.

Therapy can be really helpful if you have access to it, but as you mentioned it's not within everyone's budget. This is more of a long-term plan, but when you are looking for jobs, look closely at their benefits packages - many do include mental health funding/support services, at least where I am. In the meantime, it might be worth reaching out to your school and your local rape crisis centre to see what they might offer in terms of free counselling.

Outside of that, I'd recommend getting a few books to guide you through. Some that could be helpful are:

• Calming The Emotional Storm ...I think this one was written with bipolar people in mind, but I don't have that (I've been dx'd with ptsd, anxiety and depression) and I still found it very helpful
  
  
• The Rape Recovery Handbook ...haven't tried this one myself but have seen it oft-recommended
  
  
• The Body Keeps The Score ...a very well-known book/author dealing with trauma recovery
  
  
• The PTSD Workbook ...not saying you have ptsd, but this might still be helpful to guide yourself through trauma recovery
  
  
• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook ...I've found this one helpful as well
  
  At least a couple of these are also available as audiobooks, if that interests you (I use Audible).
  
  Good luck with everything; it sounds like you are on a great path. You will get to a place when what happened to you feels more past than present... just be sure to address it and treat yourself with kindness and compassion along the way.
  
  It's totally normal and ok that this is tough for you, but it doesn't have to be this way forever. You're so much more than what happened to you. 💙