Reddit reviews Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual

Hey... so it's 2 in the morning where I am (and I've been procrastinating for a while now), but I'ma gonna ramble at you for a bit. Cool? Good. Context: I'm 20 (m), and have gone through decently similar stuff.

First off, I'm not convinced that there is anything such as "normal" in a human context - we are all weird.

Also, if you're going to school, chances are you have access to a cheap/free therapist. Take advantage of that. I don't think there's anything "broken" about someone because they are seeking help.

... alright, I'm finding this really difficult to articulate, but what I think you're experiencing is this: you don't realize that you have power affect yourself or your corner of reality. I don't mean that you don't realize that there are consequences to your actions; you're an intelligent person, you know that. What I do mean is that (perhaps) you don't realize the authorship you have in your life.

Where does your motivation originate from? Why are you pursuing psychiatry? Who initiated the majority of stuff in your recently-ended relationship? (btw - that shit can hurt more than you realize, even if you're the one who ended it).

Goddamnit, I'm not making my point very well. I don't even know exactly what my point is, but I'm going to keep talking in the hopes that you might just find something beneficial.

Just getting older doesn't mean that things will get better, or that your problems will go away by themselves. One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is that I have to fucking do something in order for my shit to resolve.

And no. You aren't alone. You aren't exactly like anyone else, either, but more people experience stuff than you may realize. ...

More random shit: This post describes a perspective on the universe that helps inform who I am. This book provides some useful ideas, like that happiness is more dependent on how you think, rather than upon how you feel. You can control your emotions, or at least process them more appropriately (metacognition!).

Do stuff on impulse. Realize that the opposite gender is human too. Realize that you're more powerful than you've known. Have experiences. Be available to people! Say "yes," even when it's inconvenient - or don't. Find places of silence, and try and get a feel for who you are, not simply the experiences you've had. Realize that you can change, even when it feels like you're sinking in concrete. Really listen to people. Think critically and sometimes disagree with rambling douches like myself. Find moments that inspire the hell out of you (like this video for me), and then dwell in those moments without worrying what it'll feel like when they pass. Turn in a shit assignment to a professor you don't care for, just to show yourself that you can without the world collapsing. Stop and pause when you feel like it.

Realize that failure is an option. You aren't stupid if you fail, you're learning. You CAN get better at stuff, even if you don't have a natural talent for it.

Alright, I think it's time for this wall of text to come to an end. Just so you know, I've been processing some of this stuff pretty recently, and by no means do I follow all of my own advice even half the time. Its shit I want to change in my life, and I get pretty frustrated sometimes. But, that's okay.


TL;DR: You can make your life your own. Or something.


Edit: Holy shit, I wrote a bunch. Sorry 'bout that.
Also, I forgot one of my favorite quotes: "We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking." It's from here.

The Happiness Hypothesis - More or less a "best of" of self-help and positive psychology that focuses on tried and true stuff that actually works and not mystical mumbo jumbo. Haidt deliberately draws on a combination of modern psychology and ancient philosophy and does a great job of it. This is actually my go-to book to recommend to people for self-development.

The Antidote - A great book on how to cultivate happiness without denying the negative or unpleasant aspects of life and experience.

Happiness is a Serious Problem - Politically I often disagree with Dennis Prager but this book has fantastic practical advice on living a happier life.

I don't know how to write this without coming off like a kook, but here goes.

There's a great book (which I recommend) that advocates it is our moral obligation to not mope around, because it ruins other people's days.

I'm not talking about singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" and throwing confetti everywhere. But it lowers the general mood of everyone when you are depressed and moody around them.

"A poor man who can make himself satisfied with his portion will be happier than a wealthy man who does not allow himself to be satisfied."

"Prager convincingly argues that happiness is a choice, and that our choice affects both us and those around us"