We found 14 Reddit comments about I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
We might be thinking of different uses of the word. "Courting" used to mean basically the same thing that "dating" does now.
"Courtship" that you find in the modern era was popularized by the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, and is mostly found in very religious circles. What I described above is only one way in which its invasive, overly structured, and practically designed to make it feel uncomfortable or even wrong to break off a relationship if it isn't working. There's a huge emphasis on never courting someone you aren't thinking about marrying and so once you start Courting anyone, there's an assumption in the social circle that you will marry them.
Sorry. I just really, really hate Courtship. It's done a number on a lot of people's heads. Some of them were close friends of mine. It's driven people away from their faith. I'm lucky mine was preserved. I could've easily gone the same way with how hard people around me were banging this gong. I hate it so much. It's just hurtful and backwards.
> The exact line I heard was "I don't think I would be able to accept my children if they told me they were anything except for straight"
That is infuriating. INFURIATING. Right now, tonight, there are thousands of infertile couples that will go to bed weeping, wondering why they can't have children. Your father deserves that. And here he takes the gift they would do anything for... and this is how he reacts. Unacceptable.
He doesn't deserve your honesty. He's already said that. I think you should consider hard whether it's worth coming out to them.
> Things have been becoming tense recently, with my parents wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend by this time
Get a copy of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Tell him you're reading it and it really rings true to you. He'll be so proud.
Try reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which is similar advice aimed at the high school/college-aged crowd.
> but then the church would also say that dating is wrong, so NO ONE dated. at all. how are Christians today supposed to find a spouse without dating?
At the church I mentioned, they all just *Kissed Dating Goodbye book link. You basically only hang out with your prospective suitor in the company of the your family, never unchaperoned, sort of like when Michael Corleone goes to Italy, minus the physical contact. Then you sort of make a group decision. The church I mentioned basically adopted the book as part of the Apocrypha and punished those who refused to follow it.
Read the book. Then read the followup book, Boy Meets Girl. Both are by Joshua Harris. Both give sound advice, once you understand the advice. Then you will understand where this mother is coming from, and useful dialog will result.
I think that this attitude is the product of the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye written by Joshua Harris. It gained a lot of traction among Christians in the late 1990s and spawned a competing book called I Gave Dating a Chance. Harris doesn't actually think that dating is wrong, but he advocates a different attitude towards dating. Much of what he says is semantics. He advocates going back to courting instead of dating, but his definition of courting resembles what many people would call dating. In the end, he does make some good points about society's attitude towards dating, but he doesn't make a very good argument for getting rid of it completely. I haven't read it yet, but he apparently wrote a sequel called Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship after he got married.
YES. No shade against being each others' firsts, but we did it because of religious guilt. This is just one of the many ways I regret being brainwashed by my childhood fundie baptist church.
https://www.amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358 was very popular in my circle. You can find a lot of blog entries about people who have been profoundly hurt by it.
We married young because that's what everyone else was doing to escape. Escape we did, and now no one taught us how to be anything other than an unhealthy codependent Christian couple, so we're figuring out what we want to reclaim from our wasted youth and what we want to mourn and move past while learning how to have a healthy relationship from scratch. Therapy helps.
Our marriage is slowly opening now (it's something both of us want), but obv polyamory has way more rules and communication attached. I hate rules but respect my partner's need for security. Once in a moment of childishness I complained to a mutual friend about it being similar to closing on a house and said I was waiting for the preapproval paperwork to get processed before I was able to do anything, as opposed to having sex within hours of meeting I could have done when I was single (and have had opportunities to do even now at 35yo, but had to turn down).
My partner is a very cautious/risk averse person and I am more of a "trust my intuition and jump" kind of person, which makes partner feel hella uneasy. This mindset has done wonders for my career and pretty much every other part of my life, so we'll see... We're slowly meeting in the middle.
When I started dating the guy I eventually married, his mom got him this book.
Just this week, she called to say that she was planning on renting out the top floor of her house, and wondered if we would like to live there.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I am not super worked up. Just annoyed that you would automatically put an unsubstantiated claim onto him coming out about his loss of faith, and his apologies to the LGBTQ/people who were harmed by the message in his book. He came out and stated that he no longer agrees with his past writing and that's all that should matter.
>Organic publicity is never as effective as a focused blitz and social media campaigns. This is why someone would publicly air what the rest of us would consider rather personal (faith, religion, crumbling relationships, divorce) on Instagram instead of quietly moving to the next stage in our careers.
Why even bring this up in the first place? I don't know what you are trying to state with this?
>He's kicking up his own dust to attract attention.
Again. This is a random unsubstantiated claim. There is no good reason to state this, nor any claim that can't be affirmed for that matter.
>And despite disagreeing with his own message and admitting that it "harms" people, he doesn't disagree quite enough to pull it from Amazon
Just because he wants to pull it from shelves doesn't mean the publishers do.
A questions I have.
- Do you genuinely believe the claim you are making? and if so, what makes the claim actually credible?
- Even if he was coming out to promote his other talks/publications, does that take away from his message? It wouldn't change the fact that he lost his faith, correct?
I can't tell what you're getting worked up over. Author is a "speaker" and a "writer". The years of publicizing of his departure from Christianity was part of the runup to his next book.
Organic publicity is never as effective as a focused blitz and social media campaigns. This is why someone would publicly air what the rest of us would consider rather personal (faith, religion, crumbling relationships, divorce) on Instagram instead of quietly moving to the next stage in our careers.
He's kicking up his own dust to attract attention. And despite disagreeing with his own message and admitting that it "harms" people, he doesn't disagree quite enough to pull it from Amazon
Archives for the links in comments:
They sell those. This one was all the rage back in evangelical Christian school.
I've questioned myself my whole life over this matter. In short, I think it's worth it. My conviction at ~11 years old became 'If I sleep with someone I'm not married to, I've cheated on the woman I eventually marry, and will have led someone else in to cheating on their eventual husband.' This made for some very awkward times at points in college and my early single life, but I've been happily married over a decade, and I think that conviction is part of it. There's a level of trust and intimacy that my wife and I share that has its foundations in our behavior before we were married.
I probably would have messed up if I hadn't found a community of like-minded people. The encouragement and accountability you get are invaluable. You might also find I Kissed Dating Goodbye to be a helpful read.