Reddit reviews POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse

I agree, it's an excellent book. It deals very comprehensively with the global trauma epidemic and is quite academic in style. The symptoms really just point to causes, that too often individuals, families, society, parents and the media wish to avoid or deny.

​

Shannon Thomas' (social worker) discusses the concealed nature of narcissistic abuse in 'Healing from Hidden Abuse' (cover quote) :

‘Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse’.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healing-Hidden-Abuse-Recovery-Psychological-ebook/dp/B01JR4ST9S

​

Also check out:

Dr Judy Rosenberg's YouTube channel - Dr Judy WTF (What the Freud!) is rich resource for those wishing to understand and heal from narcissistic abuse. Dr Judy hosts a weekly online radio show. Check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOJvZ0gxCu_G5ufZjsI3TCw/videos

Before healing can happen we firstly need to shine light on our wounds and understand their cause.

And her book: Be The Cause: Healing Human Disconnect - Dr Judy Rosenberg

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Be-Cause-Healing-Human-Disconnect/dp/1514793032

​

​

+

​

POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse By Shahida Arabi.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/POWER-Surviving-Narcissistic-Collection-Narcissism/dp/1945796324

​

+

​

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA by Pete Walker is a book that helped me make sense of my past and its impact on me.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=complex+ptsd+walker&qid=1558114813&s=books&sr=1-1

​

The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame also by Pete Walker

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tao-Fully-Feeling-Harvesting-Forgiveness-ebook/dp/B017I3NRRO/ref=pd_cp_351_3/262-3610686-0428419?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B017I3NRRO&pd_rd_r=eed98e8c-78cb-11e9-9794-6b186da2a7c7&pd_rd_w=NVyx0&pd_rd_wg=PxcGS&pf_rd_p=01704ebe-a86a-4b47-8c36-0f9f5bbc2882&pf_rd_r=2749HYE9SAVA0ZTDQQ5E&psc=1&refRID=2749HYE9SAVA0ZTDQQ5E

+

​

Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor's Guide to Healing and Recovery.

​

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Close-Encounters-Worst-Kind-Narcissistic/dp/1973915626/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=close+encounters+of+the+worst+kind&qid=1558114864&s=books&sr=1-1-catcorr

​

Waking up from the trauma that is narcissistic abuse can feel lonely but there are literally millions of us! You're not alone. Happy healing. 😀

A breakup with my NPD ex is what brought me here. I have fairly high confidence she's NPD (borderline/histrionic don't fit), and she stopped identifying with feminism before I met her. To everyone doubting OP's diagnosis of NPD: yes the base rates rates are against, but you don't know his ex, and there are still 1.5 million NPD women in the US hurting their partners.

The basic RP vocabulary of shit tests, hypergamy, branch-swinging, etc is a useful model, but it is not the end-all be-all of understanding female behavior. For women with personality disorders, you need some new concepts, which the literature on narcissistic abuses is happy to provide.

"Idealization/devalue/discard" is not hypergamy. That would imply that the new guy is somehow higher status than the old guy. For NPD and borderline people, that's not the case: they will discard him too as soon as the spell wears off and jump to their new source of validation, who may very well be lower status. They care less about status vs. getting their fix of narcissistic supply and having control over men.

The devaluation phase may include shit tests, but it itself is not have some things in common with shit tests, but they are not shit tests. For a shit test, if you pass, she will feel a wave of relaxation/attraction. In the devaluation phase, her loss of attraction is inevitable; she's having a visceral "ick! flawed human" reaction. And that's a good thing; get out!

This book is the best out of half a dozen or so I looked at on narcissistic abuse: https://www.amazon.com/POWER-Surviving-Narcissistic-Collection-Narcissism/dp/1945796324 . Unusually for a book on NPD, most of the chapters are written in gender-neutral language too.

I'm happy to talk at length over PMs.

I've read this book a few times and it's helped - POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse https://www.amazon.com/dp/1945796324/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_mANBDbV7P50GS

I'm also going to try EMDR myself bc I find that I still carry a lot of trauma in my body and mind, even after 2 years.

I'm highly considering buying the book that's linked at the bottom. It's only $13.50...


Link