Reddit reviews Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules
We found 2 Reddit comments about Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
I think the question of whether or not your partner is right, depends on how down they are to open the relationship.
How did I realize I was non-monogamous? I've always thought the idea was cool, and I pretty much lived it without giving it a real name. Through reading books about the practice, I've started to identify with it more. If you're interested, here are links to those books:
Opening up - https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/157344295X
Sex From Scratch - https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1934620130/
(And a Tumblr called polyrolemodels)
You've already heard from some others about the cheating so I won't go into that. I will second what another person said: if you're not enjoying the sex and your partner isn't comfortable changing it up sometimes, you will most likely need to open the relationship or break up with them. I'm assuming you're American, our society socializes people to think that bad sex shouldn't be a dealbreaker, but it totally is. There are ways to set up rules and lines of communication that will make both of you happy and healthy. That's where those books helped for me, reading stories about how other people did it.
I would also caution you to think about the way you frame relationships that don't work out. Instead of considering them "failed," say that you and your ex went different paths, or that things didn't work out. That's another societal thing that Sex From Scratch mentions. The idea that a "long" relationship = success and a breakup = failure is toxic, and keeps people in unhealthy relationships longer than necessary.
For most anglo people, maybe. Not all people. Lots of cultures (and i'm not talking about mormons) are founded on non-monogamous foundations. America in particular is founded on a puritain foundation, eventually evolving to christianity. So it's very strict and unfortunately that has lasted in our culture until now.
Lots of people, way more than you probably realize, have come to terms with the fact that monogamy just doesnt work for them.
Monogamy is a valid relationship system.
So is non-monogamy.
> "monogamy is the foundation of some relationships"
FTFY... I'd even give you "most" relationships there. But not all relationships.
Great book on the topic of "buliding the type of relationship that works for you, from the ground up". https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Scratch-Making-Relationship-Rules/dp/1934620130
The best part of being able to communicate about needs and boundaries from the start of my relationship is that we've built our ENTIRE relationship, 5year plan, etc on our own rules and expectations, nothing else.