Reddit reviews Sexual Healing: The Complete Guide to Overcoming Common Sexual Problems

> I'm otherwise quite a confident and happy person, so this issue seems unusual for a male at such a young age.

Here's where you're wrong. Psychogenic erectile dysfunction is actually quite common, and doesn't depend on your age. Experiencing this doesn't make you abnormal or broken. If you're concerned then by all means get checked out by a doctor, but if you think it's just anxiety causing it then that may be the case. Virtually all men will experience ED at some point in their lives - be it due to nerves, alcohol, whatever; it's nothing to be ashamed of. Men don't magically always have perfect erections - that's not reality. I dealt with the same issue around your age and eventually got some therapy to discuss it and that helped unpack the issues that were causing it for me. Basically, if you're having performance anxiety, it's the anxiety that's probably the main cause of your problem. The general approach to this problem that I've come across is to 1) talk to your partner about how you're feeling so that they're on board and understand you and can help, 2) work with your partner to make sex less goal-oriented or put temporary limits. E.g. first have a session where you're not allowed sex or genital touching so that you have 0 pressure to perform, and then gradually build up over time to sessions where you can add those elements back in.

This book is pretty good and has talks a lot about the role of anxiety in sexual dysfunction, and has an entire chapter on erectile dysfunction that may interest you:

http://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Healing-Complete-Overcoming-Problems/dp/0897934652/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1459011764&sr=8-2&keywords=sexual+healing

Another approach is to focus on pleasuring your partner first through something other than intercourse, and after they're satisfied the focus can shift to you - this takes a lot of the pressure off because you've already 'performed' and thus can't really 'fail' - although it's better to not view sex through a lens of success/fail, this can be a helpful way to solve the problem. This book below is all about oral sex, but the author explicitly talks about having sexual dysfunction that he solved by doing exactly what I just described, and may be of interest to you.

http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1459012050&sr=8-1&keywords=she+comes+first

Best of luck!

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, just someone who's had this problem and solved it for himself.

This might seem inapplicable to you at first but I recommend looking into resources for survivors of sexual abuse.

1. What TSCC does can qualify as sexual abuse even if no one touches you (only you can decide if this applies in your case of course) because of the environment of coercive social control, invasion of sexual privacy, intense shame, etc; especially the worthiness interviews many of us were subjected to as minors. Abuse is, after all, fundamentally about the exercise of power to control others.
   
2. Even if you decide it wasn't a type of sexual abuse for you, some things your sexual problems will possibly have in common with abuse survivors is toxic shame about sexuality, your natural & healthy desires, your body, your right to pleasure, etc so you're likely to find a lot of helpful stuff in those resources, even if some of it doesn't apply. I wish I knew of resources directed specifically at sexual problems caused by cultic religious abuse; please let me know if you come across any!
   
   
   Here's my two of favourite books about it [1] [2]. They both contain very practical guidance about how to work through shame, reclaim bodily autonomy, start experiencing sex as a positive experience instead of painful or anxiety-provoking, etc. If that doesn't seem relevant, I found another book that seems more general but I can't vouch for it. I also highly recommend seeking a therapist who specializes in these subjects if self-help doesn't get you to where you need to go. I wish you good luck and lots of pleasure and joy <3 :D

This book helped me a lot
https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Healing-Complete-Overcoming-Problems/dp/0897934652/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1479481800&sr=8-2&keywords=sexual+healing