Reddit reviews The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss

Ditto checking out your local dept on aging. It might also be dept of elderly or eldercare or something like that. They may have info for you on website, in hardcopy, in person.. It varies by state. Some will have waitlists for help, some wont.

You can also find out if theres an Alzheimer's Association, Aarp, or similar near you, because they sometimes have free education seminars (sometimes to advertise services, but sometimes just info). Alz assoc also has support groups, which maybe you could use, for emotional support but also to find out about options near you. If there are care homes near you they sometimes host educational events there too. You could see if they have some kind of events calendar.

You might consider learning about elderlaw issues and getting an elderlaw lawyer. No doubt there will be free workshops featuring those. But theres a great deal of financial planning you may have to do, and sometimes you need stuff set up years in advance.

Finally, if there is a law school near you, they might have free information or downloadable publications to get you started. If you are really lucky maybe they have low cost options for law help bc they might have fresh students who need experience.

The classic text on Alzheimer's is the 36 Hour Day. https://www.amazon.com/36-Hour-Day-Alzheimer-Disease-Dementias/dp/1455521159
Tbh i never read it. But i know its like standard reading.

Get started on getting a lot of photos and videos and recordings of her. Its easy to not even think of this now. But id start now.

Ask her questions about what advice shed give you about stuff in your future, your life.. Ask about her past, her parents, her childhood.

If shes got old photos, find out about them. Its kind of a bummer to find an old album of people you don't know and have no one to ask. :p

Find out her favorite songs. Id be sure to get stuff from her teens to 30s. Try to compile at least 1 playlist. It may be helpful later, if shes in a bad mood.

If you wanna get really nuts you can look up clinical trials on trialmatch or clinicaltrials.gov and see if you feel like jumping in.

Don't beat yourself up if/when its time to make tough calls. This disease will put you guys in lose-lose situations, but you're not alone. It's going to suck, but you and dad and family can get through this.

Good luck.

This disease beats you down so hard that practically any acknowledgment of your hard work and dedication is received with pitiful gratitude. I found this book helpful while I was caring for my dads.

Look into your local Alzheimer's Association - they have meetings for family members, as well as activities for the person diagnosed, depending on how severe their condition is. Click on the "in my area" tab to find your local chapter.

I also always recommend The 36 Hour Day - it's a great primer on what to expect, and it gives some advice on different options for paying for care. Good luck, and we are here for you and your dad!

As someone in a similar situation to you I doubt any of the people saying you are a bad daughter know what they are talking about.

I would advise picking up the book The 36 hour day it is a fantastic guide to caring for someone with alzheimers. If you do not wish to pay for it you may be able to pick it up at the library.

https://www.amazon.com/36-Hour-Day-Alzheimer-Disease-Dementias/dp/1455521159

Also as a stop gap measure her insurance should be able to provide for a home health aid through patterns in care, personal touch or various other agencies.

Please keep us all informed so we may help you on the journey.

To my knowledge the only definitive way to diagnose Alzheimer's is an autopsy. There are many kinds of dementia; what's important is the kind of care and support the patient gets. Since you're willing to do some reading, you might start with The 36-Hour Day and also look at alz.org.

Please please get this book (Linked below) I have had too much experience with this. My uncle had Mad Cow disease, my grandfather had dementia now my mother in law has Alzheimer's. This book has been amazing, easy to read and very very helpful for every stage.

If you have children, dementia is the opposite. Instead of slowly gaining independence, they need to know it's okay to become dependent.

There's a really good Facebook group too, Memory Keepers Its private, but you just need to message them and they will add you. It's good to have a place to share, vent, find help etc.

It's been a great comfort to many of us in this situation. They would love this video.

And this is the best book to help you understand what is happening, will happen, and how you can help her and yourself feel better.

The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455521159/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_MuAKybN8XTCM6

tl;dr click the link, that's a useful book and has all of this, plus some more.

My minor in college was gerontology, and I was going to specialize in dementia care once upon a time. There's plenty of folks with advice in here, but I thought I'd add my two cents from that currently otherwise useless degree. There is unfortunately no reversing dementia, and if you can slow it down at all it's often imperceptible.

This will be awful and hard. Know that she will not know it's awful and hard in the end, and that's okay. Also realize that when it's at it's worst, she's not suffering - she doesn't know this is going on around her.

This is the best book I've read, and it is written in smaller pieces so you can digest one bit at a time - theoretically while caregiving, but it's also extremely useful in general. Most of what I'm saying is in there, and my MIL found it indispensible when she cared for her mom.

"Please affix your oxygen mask before assisting others" is key. You can't help take care of mom if you're falling apart. Neither can your dad, or whomever is the primary caregiver. Take days off.

Don't argue with her about what is real and what isn't when her memory starts to fade more thoroughly. She may not remember who you are, but she will remember you made her feel bad and avoid you. This is a must. Just agree and deflect, if you can. Reassure her and validate her on whatever she's worried about, and then ask about something else important. Comfort is key - go ahead and lie. You'll know when it's time for this.

Let her do as much as she can, as long as she can. This will help hold things together longer, both physically and mentally.

Keep stable schedules and locations for her. The longer she can use familiar context clues (TV in the corner, sun in the window, bathroom's in that doorway) to figure out what's going on, the easier it is on both of you. There may be a point this isn't possible, and that's okay too.

Episodic memory (stories, names, etc) fades long before procedural (riding a bike, etc), and both of those long before emotional memory (how things make you feel). Old ladies who can't remember what their own name is can often still cut up carrots for dinner without cutting themselves; they've been doing it forever. And they know they like the nice nurse with the pretty smile, although that they realize why. (Hint: she doesn't argue)

There will be good days and bad days. Don't feel bad about this, none of it is your fault. It's okay to be sad.

Remove throw rugs from her house as soon as she'll let you (or doesn't notice) - people with Alzheimer's often forget that they're old, and will accidentally hurt themselves. Falls are the most dangerous, and throw rugs the most common way to do so.

Her personality may change. Often people become angry, or curse when they never did before, or any number of things. This is okay too. Don't argue, agree and deflect: "Yes, mom, that is a bad f*cking movie, how about we watch the birds today instead, I like the red ones especially." (and then lead her away to the birds)

Alzheimer's patients can sometimes exhibit odd behavioral patterns. They will sometimes pack bags constantly, wander off without adequate preparation, sit at bus stops forever, or other odd repetitive behaviors. This is normal and it's all okay. If this gets dangerous, she either needs someone home all the time or to be moved somewhere with security for this issue.

I can't tell you what it's like - I didn't know my Grandma-in-law until she was already halfway through, so I didn't know she was missing anything. You will do the best you can with what you have available, and that is all anyone can ever do. This may be 5 years or 30 years long, and you will probably want a therapist to help you through it. It will be okay, although it will suck to get there, no lie.

Please let me know if you have any questions about any of this and I"ll be glad to help, anytime. If you know the specific disease, I can try and help explain that too, if you'd like. Good luck. <3