Reddit reviews The Hidden Abuser: Learn to Recognize Subtle Abusive Behavior
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I definitely see this as abuse. One book that might help is: The Hidden Abuser: Learn to Recognize Subtle Abusive Behavior.
It talks about different types of emotional and verbal abusive tactics, many of which you mention above. If you are unsure but want to learn more, you can also visit a women’s or domestic violence shelter near you. They can give you the tools you need to make a decision for yourself, they provide free counseling, risk assessments, safety planning and can help you escape/find new housing. They don’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Also, a lot of them offer free legal advice from lawyers.
the Hidden Abuser