Reddit reviews The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year (Third Edition) (New Father Series)

Sounds like this is your first? Congrats on becoming a dad!

If it helps, from what I've heard I think that's pretty common. Can I recommend a book? I really like The New Father. There's some sections in there that talk about how to deal with situations that sound very similar to yours. (I tried to dig up the section that I was thinking of so I could copy-paste it, but I couldn't find it - sorry.)

I'd start by making sure you're having lots of honest communication with your fiance. In your post, you talk about how you're feeling, but you don't mention her feelings. Why is she acting this way? Is she exhausted? Overwhelmed? Different people react to stress in different ways, so don't try to work backwards from her actions and guess at her motivations. Communication will be key here!

Some concrete advice:

1. See if you can set up a ritual that allows you to have 15 minutes of conversation with one another every day, no exceptions. You may also find it helpful to have a "no-kid-talk" policy, to give yourselves a break from your infant-centered lives.
   
   
2. Read that dad book! I've found it really helpful.
   
   
3. For intimacy, try taking some of the pressure off. Not all intimacy needs to lead to sex. What if you offered your fiance a no-strings-attached back rub?
   
   
4. Talk to your fiance about postpartum depression. It affects a lot of new parents - the percentage is very high! I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but be aware it could be a factor.