Reddit reviews The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness

Learn to meditate and do it daily; and find a good therapist and see them regularly. As has been mentioned, these questions are good ones to talk over with a therapist.

I've found the combination of meditation and therapy to be very good at increasing self-love and letting go of self-hatred and wanting to please others. Meditation helps you get to know yourself, and be able to tolerate discomfort and feel your feelings without needing to react or blame. It's a practice and it takes time and effort, like going to to the gym, but for self-love - but even 5 minutes a day does amazing things.

Therapy (talk therapy with a psychotherapist, hypnotherapy, or mindfulness-centered therapy) helps you understand yourself better and you and your therapist can create healing experiences that heal emotional trauma and wounds - lack of self-love often comes from emotional wounds you may not even know you have. It helps with finding your power within.

Meditation - most Buddhist centers will teach you for free and have regular classes or retreats to deepen your practice. You don't have to be a Buddhist or convert to Buddhism to do it. There are Shambhala centers in most major world cities where you can get free instruction; the Insight Meditation Society is also a good option. Reading about meditation helps (any books by Pema Chodron, The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving-Kindness is one of my favorites. Jack Kornfield is another great author and meditator who talks about loving yourself, A Path With Heart is another favorite of mine), but there's no substitute for actually doing it.

Therapy systems that have worked for me have been Hakomi somatic psychotherapy and Wellness hypnotherapy - therapists run in tribes and these two places train therapists that helped me. There are lots of different therapists and modalities. You may have to try a few to find one that works for you. It paid off for me- I'm a lot happier, healthier, and have more self-love for seeing a therapist.

Loving yourself is an inside job - not something that will happen overnight, but a lifelong journey, a path of growth.

Congratulations for taking the first steps on it!

I am divorced under similar circumstances. re: love and trust, I have removed "trust" from my social vocabulary, at least on a conscious level, because it is loaded with expectation and attachment to circumstances. I don't trust anyone, and it's important to point out that I don't say that with a pessimistic/defeated demeanor, I live stronger and accommodate more circumstances with a more flexible mind in a very positive way, by expecting less from other people in a positive way that is like a gift to them to meet them wherever they are at and accept their behavior without taking it as a personal affront if their actions disappoint me. But if I feel disappointed, I do not push this away or avoid it as a "negative" but process it as mindfully as possible. To set up relationships with the expectation of trust is to sort of set up a mouse trap of disappointment with a piece of cheese in it, and we program ourselves to go crazy once the trap is sprung and feel anger surrounding others even though we are the ones responsible for setting the trap. From now on, relationships I forge will have this underlying understanding as a result of having dropped some baggage about what I can expect from other people.

If I need some space, I take it, if I need to let myself feel angry, I feel it fully, and remind myself this whole planet is a chaotic nuthouse full of desperate children who aren't necessarily out to hurt one another. I have learned the hard way that hatred is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies from it. I don't think I could get that angry again if I wanted to like I don't think I could drink Jose Cuervo again if I wanted to -- the memory of toxic pain and nausea is too fresh. I got a lot of solace from Heartbreak and Pema Chödrön's Wisdom of No Escape.

Here's a few, one might be helpful, I'm only really familiar with Pema's work.

The Wisdom of No Escape: And the Path of Loving Kindness - Actually all of Pema's books are pretty good. Being mindful is really going to help with any other work on Jealousy that you do. As will any loving kindness work that you do. :)

Overcoming Jealousy (Overcoming Common Problems Series\ by Dr. Windy Dryden)

Jealousy and Envy: New Views about Two Powerful Feelings (Psychoanalytic Inquiry Book Series) - for a more psychological perspective

As for some immediate help with Jealousy, the links below the cut may also prove helpful to yourself or to others. :)

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Youtube video from the NHS about Jealousy

[Link to the NHS site about jealousy mentioned in the above video here]
(http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/emotionalhealth/pages/overcomingjealousy.aspx)

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Learning to Control Jealousy

with
some audio coaching/ meditation work

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Don't Be Jealous (PDF)

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Loving Kindness Meditations Find one that works for you. Loving Kindness work is good for grief, shame, jealousy, anger, self acceptance and self love.

Well if you're serious about the Buddhist thing I wholeheartedly recommend anything by Pema Chodron. She helped me to have more positive interactions with the world around me. I specifically recommend
The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness.