Reddit reviews Understanding Asexuality

So first and most importantly, I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with you. I don't think you have anything you need to fix about this.

Second, as a sexologist, the scientist in me thinks this is really interesting because you're describing something relatively unusual (again, this does not make anything wrong with you, just uncommon) So I have lots of questions if you are willing to answer them, but I'll let you decide before I go about asking them.

Edit; Oh my, I did not expect this to get nearly so much interest, I'll do my best to reply to all of this but it may take me awhile.

Edit2; I think I replied to just about everything. If you asked me something and didn't get a response then please feel free to inbox me.

Edit 3: I got feedback from one of my colleagues, as I had begun to suspect, I am a little less informed on this than I thought, but there are fewer studies out there than we'd like (a common problem in sexology). The general consensus seems to be that Libido and Attraction are separate enough factors that this isn't that unusual. It's more common for aces (asexual people) to have low libido, but it's not a rule by any means (as many of you commenting have made clear). I've also cut and pasted the source list they provided me as a starting point.
> Good sources:
>
> The Results Section (https://asexualsexologist.files.wordpress.com/.../physiol...) of "Physiological and Subjective Sexual Arousal in Self-Identified Asexual Women" by Brotto & Yale (whole paper available for purchase here: http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-010-9671-7)
>
> Also, from Asexuality: Classification and Characterization (https://www.researchgate.net/.../6462028_Asexuality...) by Nicole Prause and Cynthia A Graham. Published by the Kinsey Institute March 8, 2007 - "Asexuals reported significantly less desire for sex with a partner, lower sexual arousability, and lower sexual excitation but did not differ consistently from non-asexuals in their sexual inhibition scores or their desire to masturbate."
>
> Also, from Asexuality: A Mixed-Methods Approach (http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-008-9434-x) by Brotto, Knudson, Inskip, Rhodes, & Erskine - "masturbation frequency in males was similar to available data for sexual men."
>
> There is a handy chapter on "Libido & Masturbation" in Julia Sondra Decker's book "The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality" (http://juliesondradecker.com/?page_id=1767)
>
> There is also a rather interesting chapter called "To Masturbate or not to Masturbate" in Bogaert's book "Understanding Asexuality." (https://www.amazon.com/Unders.../dp/1442201002/ref=sr_1_1...)

Hey there. I'm also a 19-year-old male macrophile, although I am turned on by giantesses rather than giants. I identify as asexual, and I think it is completely valid for you to identify as asexual.

When I use the term asexual, I refer to someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Note that this definition says nothing about sexual arousal; sexual attraction and sexual arousal are two separate entities. Therefore, it stands to reason that there can be people who identify as asexual and still experience sexual arousal.

Anthony F. Bogaert, professor of community health sciences and psychology at Brock University and researcher of sexuality, postulated this exact idea in a published article from 2012:
> "Given that some masturbating asexuals seek out stimulation
through fantasy or pornography, arousal/pleasure mechanisms
of their nervous system are engaged by this sexual stimulation.
Yet, this stimulation is disconnected from their identities: It is, at
least in part, an identity-less sexual arousal. Thus, these individuals
still seem to retain a lack of subjective sexual attraction
to others (or anything), despite physical arousal and seeking out
persistent themes in fantasy and pornography. Subjective in this
case refers to the I or the me in one’s identity as a person."

(It is important to note that, in this case, the term paraphilia is used to imply "less mainstream sexual practices" without negatively implying any dysfunction or 'wrongness'. In this context, consider it interchangeable with the term fetish.)

There is more discussion on asexuality and paraphilias in Chapter 10 of his book, Understanding Asexuality, which I highly recommend reading. The book is essentially a summary of his understanding of asexuality as a result of his research, but I feel like reading it helped me understand my own asexuality better.

Sorry, I might have gotten slightly off-topic. My point is, I don't believe that having a macrophilia fetish says anything about your sexual or romantic orientation. I believe that your sexual and romantic orientations are distilled from your real-life feelings (or lack thereof) about other people. Not your body - bodies are weird and can do things for no reason - your feelings.

If you don't feel sexual attraction towards other people, you can identify as asexual. If you don't feel romantic attraction towards other people, you can identify as aromantic. And if you decide you do feel sexual and/or romantic attraction towards other people, that's okay!

This leads me to one more train of thought - depression. I also live with depression. (Wow, we have quite a bit in common!) I know first-hand that depression can make it hard to be in-tune with your emotions and feelings. I don't know you, so I can't give you specific clinical advice - I'm not a doctor, anyhow - but I can tell you that I have gotten a lot out of seeing therapists who have helped coax ideas out of my head that otherwise would have stayed murky, sub-conscious thoughts. It's also worth noting that I had to visit a few different therapists before I found someone who I felt comfortable talking to and who I felt understood me. Again, I don't know you, but therapy might be worth a try.

Oh, and one last thing: there is nothing wrong with you. I mean that.

I hope you find this answer helpful.