(Part 2) Best autism & aspergers syndrome books according to redditors

Not a guy, so no firsthand experience here, but I wanted to offer a possible resource. This book and this other one are basically a curriculum on self-care before and during puberty - some of it written to the child and some to parents/teachers. It won't all apply to him (some of it is specific to girls or younger kids), so you'd need to read through it first and pick out the parts he needs to see.

I have high sensory difficulties, my psychologist recommended: Sensory Perceptual Issues in Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Olga Bogashina. If you want something a bit more technical, but still accessible, this is a great read.

UK link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1849056730/?coliid=I10W0AHDJE765L&colid=UYQKQSRFJDZ5&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

US link: https://www.amazon.com/Sensory-Perceptual-Issues-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849056730/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

Isn't your son on the autism spectrum? This book was recommended (I just checked it out from the library to read myself) to me. It may be useful to you (and to help your husband understand why babying him isn't good).

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Push-Professionals-Spectrum-Successful/dp/1941765203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523057302&sr=8-1&keywords=the+loving+push

Some books that I have come across:

• Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum: Let's Relate! - Brian King - The second half of this book had some incredibly useful advice about working around my communication difficulties, he discusses communication difficulties from book an adult and child point of view. (As well as being autistic himself, King has autistic sons).
  
• The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A Guide to Living in an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who is on the Autism Spectrum - Maxine Ashton
  
• The Asperger Couple's Workbook: Practical Advice and Activities for Couples and Counsellors - Maxine Ashton - These books kind of go together as a set but it's not necessary (if for example, workbooks are not your kind of thing). Ashton has worked as a counsellor for couples - where one or both are on the autistic spectrum - for about ten years.
  
• Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome - Eva Mendes - Another relationship counsellor for ASD relationships.
  
• Love, Partnership or Singleton on the Autism Spectrum - Luke Beardon and Dean Worton - Not so much advice on relationships, but rather a collection of autistic people discussing how they experience relationships of all kinds.
  
  I can't really recommend one over any of the others (perhaps other posters can add their recommendations) as there were parts in all of them I found helpful, and other parts I found less helpful. Most of them are available on Kindle so you can have a look at the free samples to get an idea if any of them suit you.

Here is one book I found on Amazon, and this might be the workbook you saw. I don't know anything about either book other than what Amazon says, so look through them to make sure they're right for you. I'd also suggest exploring the Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network

I'm not a celiac but years ago cut it all out for a year after feeling really run down for a long time. I noticed a strong mental improvement and positive change in attitude after a few weeks. I was much more alert for longer periods of the day. Previous any small setback would make me irritated but after cutting it out I could handle negative situations much better.

It is possible that cutting out gluten will help making it easier to learn simply by having more energy and easier to concentrate. It happened to me.

I came across a description in a book that it was like walking on air, which is the best way I can describe it. Check it out here

http://www.amazon.com/User-Guide-Gf-Diet-Autism/dp/184310055X

Good luck

It's German https://www.amazon.de/dp/3862019500/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_hWhxCbP0GV08M

I have the next two volumes, too. Second (puberty/youth) isn't quite me. Didn't read the third, yet.

https://www.amazon.com/Things-Your-Student-Autism-Wishes/dp/1932565361

This is a pretty tricky and uncomfortable area for most in the US. (They are either on one side or the other with no middle ground and people who know nothing about it will have very strong opinions one way or another :) ) I think one of the kindest ways I ever read anyone bridging into the subject of possible gluten-intolerance/gut issues was in a GFCF cookbook, maybe this one though I'm not 100% sure it was that one. The authors basically said, "Autism is often only diagnosed as a psychological or psychiatric disorder and if underlying medical causes have not been investigated, well, you can't rule it out - so check for celiac disease" Additionally, researchers have found statistical links between maternal autoimmune disease and autism so they are looking at the possible autoimmune connection. Since there is no single test for autism, I think it's worth keeping an open mind to the possibility that researchers have not quite figured out a few medical causes of autism-like symptoms that might be helped by medical intervention. As far as putting that in front of partner's mom? Only if it happens to come up and only as sort of an "aside" comment. Like, "well, I've heard this info about the autoimmune connection and sometimes misdiagnosis and thought it was really interesting what researchers are finding these days & I would just be so glad if was any help to to you" or something. Maybe?

edit: At lunch I went double checking for some of the interesting research. Here's a nice little one about rates of abnormalities in intestinal barrier in autistics and first-degree relatives. Results "indicate that measuring IPT [intestinal permeability] could help to identify a subgroup of patients with autism who could benefit from a gluten-free diet." Note the word "subgroup" - very important for us all-or-nothing-americans to pay attention to. :) There's a pdf here that's an editorial not a peer reviewed bit of research and seems to be an overview of medical literature relevant to gastrointestinal disorders in autistic children.

ASD, ADD and ADHD all have overlap, so that can certainly be a factor. Even if your son (or you) doesn't have a diagnosis, it can't hurt to educate yourself on ASD. This book is often recommended where I am: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Visual-explanation-Psycho-education-ASD/dp/9491337378

Join a parenting support group, support is very important. Also realize that you don't have to "parent" her alone, it takes a village to raise a child right? Friends, family, they're there to help you, reach out to them when you need help. Take care of yourself too.

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Discipline is hard- you can always ask for help from friends and family if you're struggling with this. It is a learned thing, it doesnt always come easy. You'll learn together what is working and what isnt. My mom has always said the best way to raise a child is with love and respect for them. Boundaries *need* to be set. I am not a parent- however I do work in child care. Make a list of "house rules" that state bedtimes on school nights and weekends, amount of time she can be spend on electronics per day, any chores she should be doing (ie feeding the dog, helping with dishes, picking up her room), how far she is allowed to go by herself (do you have a yard, is she allowed to go to the neighbors house to play?), movies/shows she's allowed to watch (ie Netflix Kids, Youtube Kids, watching shows like NCIS but with parental guidance, Cartoon Network, PG rated movies), is she only allowed to eat in the kitchen or is food allowed to be eaten in the living room or her room?. Make sure you communicate these rules with her and make them clear. Simple discipline can be taking away TV/internet privileges for a day or two, not getting dessert, limited electronics time, verbally explaining why they shouldn't have done xyz (but include constructive ways they can avoid that happening again/better ways to channel that energy- redirection to a healthier and more constructive thing has been helpful in my experience).

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Realize it is okay to feel inadequate and like you can't do it. Raising a child is hard work. Support groups are important when you feel burnt out and make sure to get a little "me time" and do some self care.

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As for puberty issues, I personally have strong opinions on it just because I was raised abstinence-only poor to terrible to no sex ed land. A lot of people recommend that American Girl The Care and Keeping of You book and I personally had that book growing up. I would call that a good "starter" book, but please do not make that the only book. It does not cover periods as extensively as it should. The care in the book is waaayyyy too generalized and leaves a lot of questions unanswered in my opinion. There's more options for menstruation care now- menstrual cups, cloth pads, period underwear- not just disposables. I highly recommend this book: The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods. I realize it says "autism" but it is extremely comprehensive and covers cloth pads and cups as well as disposables. It has lots of clear diagrams and pictures and answers *every* question you could possibly have on it. It is the most comprehensive period book I have come across. Precious Star Pads on youtube and Put A Cup In It on facebook/their website/youtube are awesome resources for this. Even sexplinations on youtube is a great resource for puberty/sex ed.


Don't be afraid to ask someone you view as a female role model for her to talk to her sometimes when you feel she just kind of needs that kind of thing.

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You got this, I wish you the best of luck <3

Some good things and some less-important things in there. As a data point, here's a basic basic version of what's worked for many kids I know with autism who have various levels of communication and social skills. It's based on basic behavior analytic principles. All the books you read and videos show a kid to create "readiness" will not replace clear cues and consequences (that you of course systematically and gradually remove as a child becomes more independent). Specifically: frequently scheduled potty trips (start at every 15 minutes and increase gradually when you get successes), increasing fluids to increase opportunities to use the potty, rewards (chosen with child input!) for successes in the potty, not making a big deal about accidents (no attention/reprimands/etc when unwanted behavior happens), rewarding initiations to use the potty, and teaching all the things you need to do before and after using the potty (as the article says - sitting on the potty, removing clothing, wiping, rearranging clothing).

Folks might find the toilet training chapter in this book an additional resource.

I'm not positive, but I think that those might be 3 contact numbers for the same organization. I found another contact number as well-
Dr Marianne KUZEMTSHENKO
Rahu 8
50112
TARTU
ESTONIA
E-mail : [email protected]

Phone : 372 557 9980

I think that I might try her, as she's mentioned in the acknowledgements for a great book about kids with Asperger's and Multiple Diagnoses...Alphabet Kids, and I think that chances are pretty good that she speaks English.

It probably won't be easy, but it might be worthwhile trying to contact your uncles and see how things lie with them. There sometimes are family members who won't let themselves get caught up in family squabbles. If nothing else, you might at least be able to go somewhere for a while to get your GED, and after getting that maybe you could get into some kind of online work? I don't know how interested you are in computer stuff, but I know a good number of autistic adults who work with computers from their home, which might be at least some kind of solution for you.

I'll keep trying to think of things that you might try- again, I'm sorry that things are so rough for you.

Congrats on your 39 days!

What kind of resources and support system do you have available right now? Other family members? Regular therapist? Insurance? Inheritance?

Just the cleanup must be a huge process and I bet it would help if you could get some professionals in to help.

I’ll link you to appropriate resources...


Some good books to start with:

The Care and Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls https://www.amazon.com/dp/1609580427/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B3-rDb9D8J3T3

Personal Hygiene? What's that Got to Do with Me? https://www.amazon.com/dp/1843107961/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_C5-rDbWSY6ZK3

Hygiene and Related Behaviors for Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum and Related Disorders https://www.amazon.com/dp/1934575429/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_b6-rDbM1213Q1

Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty and Personal Curriculum for Young People with Autism https://www.amazon.com/dp/1885477945/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_F6-rDbC0SF8R2

There is a publication about autism spectrum and drinking/drugs/addiction. https://www.amazon.com/Drinking-Drug-Addiction-Autism-Community/dp/1785927493 . I have also a pinterest board on this subject. https://www.pinterest.de/gertrud4617/autism-drugalcohol-addiction/ For me it is that drugs reduce anxiety (at least ideally/initially) and in some cases slow down hyped-up thought processes. NTs manage the same through cognitive empathy, autistic people by meditation practices.

holy shit you are incredibly obnoxious, here's a suggestion for you. i hope you get a decent job in the near future and do something useful with your life