(Part 3) Top products from r/AskTrollX

I've been poly for 10 years, and in a new LDR (4 months). He's a touring roadie, I'm an in-town roadie.

I would strongly recommend doing some reading on polyamory, open relationships, swinging, all that stuff. There's tons of great literature out there. Even if full-on multiple relationships isn't what you're looking for, you'll pick up lots and lots of tools to smooth a transition to non-monogamy, and just in general to have healthy communication.

Before you talk to him about it, and before you get with anyone else, try to have an idea of what you'd like, and what your boundaries are. Do you want just NSA booty, or FWB? What would you be comfortable for him to do with other women? What about barriers? Do you talk about your other partners, or is it a DADT situation? What if feels happen? A good rule of thumb is to picture your partner with someone else, having a great time. If this elicits strong feelings of jealousy, anger, and general badness, there's going to be a lot of things to work through.

After you've got a good idea of where you want to go, bring it up with him. Not with a specific other partner in mind, but just as a concept. Ask him to do research for himself. Even if he says "No way!", have him do the reading and make an informed decision. Make up your mind whether or not this is a deal breaker.

We're pretty strongly conditioned against the idea of non-monogamy, but the fact is that it's all around us. Open relationships are a pretty common practice, and can be part of a lot of healthy, loving, long-lasting romances.

I thought I would have to really reconsider my poly attitude when I met my current guy, because I am crazy-nuts-bananas in love. When I told him about it, he laughed that I had been scared and told me he had been in open relationships for a decade and preferred it!

Good luck on spreading the love!

https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379

https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Two-Practical-Polyamory/dp/0991399706

http://polyamorydiaries.com/im-madly-in-love-with-you-but-dont-worry-its-not-a-big-deal/

Who Fears Death is an amazing fantasy book that has themes of magic as well as racism and sexism. It's an amazing read!

I love sci-fi and my tops are the Hyperion Cantos, Robert A. Heinlein books (The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Time Enough For Love, etc.), Ursula K Le Guin books (Earthsea, which is actually fantasy, Very Far Away From Anything Else, which is actually just fiction, The Dispossessed, Rocannon's World, The Left Hand of Darkness, etc.) and John Varley books (Titan, Wizard, Demon. a trilogy. Millennium, Steel Beach).

I'm currently reading another sci-fi trilogy, Three, Fall of Morningside, Dawnbreaker, which I like a lot. Jay Posey also wrote another sci-fi novel, Outriders, also very good.

I have Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children on my nightstand to read next. Apparently, there's a sequel book, too, so I'll probably read that after.

John Green's books are really good YA fiction. The Fault in our Stars, Finding Alaska, Paper Towns I've read and enjoyed.

Read any Neil Gaiman? I recommend American Gods and Anansi Boys, as well as Good Omens co-written with Terry Pratchett, also the author of many amazing Discworld novels. The books about the witches are the best.

Random other books I've read & enjoyed: Their Eyes Were Watching God, The Pelican Brief, Invitation To The Game, Throne of Glass series, The Invisible Library, The Paper Magician trilogy, The Night Circus, The Shepherd Moon, (Poison Study, Magic Study, Fire Study) trilogy, The Lost Legends of New Jersey.

Oh and if you like cats a lot like I do, Tails of Wonder and Imagination is a collection of very interesting short stories.

The Kushiel Series by Jacqueline Carey is pretty good. BDSM in a fantasy setting with an epic storyline? Yes, please. Though I've only read the first trilogy. There's a second one that deals with a character from the first and their story, but I haven't had a chance to read them.

The Twelve Houses Series by Sharon Shinn is my other go-to fantasy series.

The Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger is an amazing Steampunk-ish series that also deals with the supernatural. No sparkly vampires here, folks!

And finally, as if no one has heard of it, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. If you never had a chance to read them as a child, don't skip them now. They're delightful to read, even as an adult. My husband, who used to not really enjoy reading and isn't a fast reader as a result, read them for the first time last year. He burned through them. He's even talking about re-reading them soon. So, seriously, go pick them up!

EDIT: Almost forgot the Sherlock Holmes canon! Always good if you need a collection of stories. May I suggest picking up this version? It's got the original illustrations included. Quite fun.

Any from the India Black series. Madam Troll extraordinaire. Big on ladies kicking ass and having fun doing it. Easy read, good stories. And no, they are not romance novels, they are mysteries!

> "Readers will enjoy this impressive debut novel, which provides a colorful portrait of Victorian society as seen through the eyes of a strong, intelligent woman."

People sometimes shit on it but, He's Just Not That Into You is something all single men and women should read. The jist of it in your situation is that you shouldn't fight to convince someone to be with you. Don't make excuses for other people's behavior. Take it at face value. Your BF told you he wants to break up. Believe him.

Is there a chance he'll wake up tomorrow and think he's made a huge mistake? Sure, but there's a chance that you'll also get struck by lightening. You can't and don't expect it to happen.

Go no contact (/r/ExNoContact), and work on placing value in building a great relationship with yourself.

One of my favorite books of all time is a children's book I accidentally stole from my elementary school library by forgetting to return it. The Last Wolf of Ireland by Elona Malterre. It is a beautiful story about two friends who rescue wolf pups in a time when wolves are hunted in Ireland. Here is a link to the amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/Last-Wolf-Ireland-Elona-Malterre/dp/0395543819.

This body image workbook was recommended to me by the ED nutritionist I used to see.

Also, not a workbook, but this book about self compassion is a great read. Because self-esteem and confidence are also about being kind to yourself.

Stories of Your Life and Others

Really amazing collection of sci-fi short stories. Thought-provoking and intelligent, but also entertaining and easy to read. Ted Chiang writes female characters really well

https://www.amazon.com/Stories-Your-Life-Others-Chiang/dp/1101972122/

Aww yiss this book looks fantastic! It's out of stock on Amazon but I ordered it anyway for when it's back. Thanks for the recommendation!!

(after following /u/whyihatepink's advice) If you'd rather go the book route, we got the version of this for young kids (5ish) and it was great.

I have nothing relevant to add, but this is my favorite princess story.

Edit: Mixed up brackets. Derp.

The Crossway ESV Study Bible is lovely.

A great look at history with a great looking at women who changed history.

https://www.amazon.com/Spies-Narrative-Encyclopedia-Dealing-Biblical/dp/0871317907

Spies throughout all of recorded history. Many of them women. Sure, lots of the spies were terrible people but it shows women literally altering the course of history. For good. Or bad.

The book "Women Don't Ask" has been HIGHLY recommended to me re: this topic. http://www.amazon.com/Women-Dont-Ask-Negotiation-Strategies/dp/0553383876

Try This and therapy... Allow yourself time to heal. This will take time, but that also means you don't have to get over it overnight. You can do this thing one bite at a time.

http://www.amazon.com/Flourish-Visionary-Understanding-Happiness-Well-being/dp/1439190763

Amazon's got you covered with that.

"Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft and "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans are both fantastic reads.

I may be able to help!

Star Wars Cook Book - Wookie Cookies

Cookie Cutters

R2D2 Measuring Cups

Vader Apron

I know there have been some, but my memory is terrible.

I did read "The Emperor of all Maladies: A Biography of Cancer" recently (that's not a referral link or anything). While it was not uplifting, necessarily, as someone who has been surrounded by cancer in family and friends since the age of 9 (34 years ago) I learned so much that I could not put the 600+ page book down. It really, thoroughly blew my mind.

I don't necessarily recommend reading it if you're in a heavy emotional state due to dealing with the illness. There are some unappealing facts and truths in the book that hurt to read, because my mother is currently fighting lung cancer. I advised my dad not to read the book, for instance.

But for me, knowledge feels like power in a world where ultimately I can't do anything.

And for me, the book hit so close to home. I lost my sister to leukemia, I was a bone marrow donor for her, and I never truly understood our place in history. The author actually uses leukemia as a starting point for explaining about cancer, describing it as "cancer in liquid form". And the history was fascinating because I was a part of it. He writes about research in Seattle, WA on bone marrow transplants. My sister and I were some of the first to participate in bone marrow transplants in the late 70's out in Seattle. We may very well be a footnote in his research, I don't know. Reading the book helped me feel like my sister and our transplant was 'immortalized' a bit in history, even though she didn't survive due to the radiation treatments. (And I never understood why they had to perform radiation on her brain for leukemia. The book explains why.)

It's truly gripping, and a book I will never have too far away. I bookmarked and highlighted that book on my Kindle more than any other book I have ever read in my life.