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I've even read that the two may be related - that the OCPD behaviors may manifest as a way to impose order on the chaos resulting from ADHD. (Take this metaphorically, though - I didn't read it in a medical journal, just from accounts of others' experiences with both disorders.)



I know I've struggled with perfectionism and other OCPD symptoms nearly my entire life, and wrestled with problems likely due to ADHD since adolescence. I'm no expert, but here's my advice from my own learning journey these past few years:


1. Don't get too hung up on the perfect diagnosis
I did receive an official ADHD diagnosis at the age of 27, which allowed me to start taking stimulant medication. But I've never been 100% certain if it's true. Like you and others in this thread, I've wondered if it's OCPD masking as ADHD, or both disorders, and I've been told by doctors that it's just anxiety, etc. The truth is, these are both hard to verifiably diagnose. Better instead to understand what your symptoms are and experiment to find treatments/habits that work for you, and worry less about the labels. There's so much we still don't understand about both ADHD and OCPD.


2. That said, read up on both disorders so you can best advocate for yourself with doctors and best explain your issues to friends/family
Two resources that helped break things down for me most clearly:
The book Too Perfect
This Russell Barkley video series. I don't necessarily love Barkley's books on the subject - they feel a bit too simplified - but this video series is great.


3.As others have said, find a new doctor.
I think it's perfectly appropriate for a doctor to be careful about handing out ADHD diagnoses - but saying he doesn't believe it exists is a total non-starter. It's NOT too late to get an assessment - symptoms often don't present (or become problematic) until precisely this time. I wish I had been diagnosed at the start of university, rather than six years later when I was demoralized and struggling to finish. See if you can find a doctor who specializes in adult ADHD in your area. I actually had my assessment at a university as part of their clinical research - you might be able to find something similar.


4. Start getting acquainted with gentleness and acceptance, you're going to need it
There isn't a cure for either ADHD or OCPD. That's the truth.
There is much you can do to manage the disorders and live a great life, but these challenges will always be with you, so it's important to start accepting that and being gentle with yourself along the way.

For me this was a bit easier with the ADHD - it's clearly a brain chemical disorder, it can be treated with medication, and it's something other people are familiar with. The OCPD is much more insidious because it's ego-tonic - it feels like a normal (and of course correct!) part of your personality - and fewer people (including doctors) are aware of it.

The fact that you're aware of these symptoms now and are seeking help for them puts you WAY ahead of the game. But even with good treatment and lots of self-awareness it isn't always easy. So remember to be gentle and forgiving with yourself when you can.


Here's another unusual resource that's been very helpful to me in recent years: Constructive Living. It's sort of an anti self-help book that really encourages you to get out of your own head (great for OCPD) and ground yourself in meaningful productive/physical activity (great for ADHD). Similar to some CBT approaches.

Sorry for the wall of text here - hope something in this can be helpful to you.

I've already recommended this book once this week, but it's good enough that I'll do it twice. Overcoming Perfectionism. Even if you don't have it in you to put into practice any of the CBT techniques it outlines it's thought provoking and gives you better awareness on what OCPD and perfectionism is.

Medication doesn't treat OCPD, it makes it easier for you to treat yourself. When I've been on medication I've likened it to this - when I'm at my worst, my house goes to shit. I see a magazine on the floor and I step over it because I don't have the energy because the magazine being on the floor is exhausting, mentally. When I'm medicated I see a magazine on the floor and the medication is suppressing the anxiety and the exhaustion, so maybe I'll pick it up. Going to therapy and CBT is also not a quick fix; it's likely for the first month or so you'll feel radically worse. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made, though. I'm able to see when I'm becoming destructive better and channel my energy constructively. I'm more forgiving, I find hanging out with friends more relaxing.

Hi, I have OCPD. I can definitely to feelings of empty/flat/boring-ness: I've struggled with isolation and lack of fulfillment in life and relationships, because mostly I'm just trying to hit all the beats in a script.

Like you my perfectionism doesn't just manifest in workaholism; for example I have really good work-life balance, because based on experience and observation, that's part of being perfect. Even if I've grown outwardly less Type-A over time, the reality is I've just adapted my internal definition of perfection with new unrealistic standards.

I do find that said periodic redefining of standards has led me to sort of divide up my life into eras. I have a tendency to malign past-tense me (I was a terrible friend, a shitty person, an abusive girlfriend...)

This obviously black-and-white thinking manifests in the form of deeply negative self-talk. Taken to its extreme, I suppose that could turn into total dissociation of the past self ("that wasn't the 'real' me being shitty to my ex")--and same line of thinking for times that you feel over-emotional / not in control.

I haven't personally experienced this to the point of actual dissociation, and haven't heard of that in conjunction with OCPD. THat's not to say it doesn't happen, I really have no qualifications to say.

Per my therapist, some of my past behaviors would classify me as "OCPD with narcissistic tendencies"--so I think it's very possible you display features/traits of other PD's (in your case the dissociation).

If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control which does a really good job illustrating patterns of thought and behavior that aren't as obvious as the typical Type A "neat freak" / tightwad stereotypes (of which I am most certainly neither)

PM me if you want to chat more. Cheers

Until this place picks up, there is http://ocpd.freeforums.org/


I also found that http://www.amazon.com/Too-Perfect-When-Being-Control-ebook/dp/B0054KMKIG/ was amazing.

Have you read the book? Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

I see a therapist that is familiar with OCPD vs OCD as I have a comorbid condition, but it is under-researched and under-treated. If you are interested, you can order a book about a new form of therapy designed specifically for OCPD - https://www.amazon.com/Training-Radically-Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-ebook/dp/B06XGCP36Z

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As others mentioned, it is a personality disorder so there is no getting rid of it. But self-awareness about aspects of the disorder that are unhelpful can help you make positive changes.