(Part 3) Top products from r/calmhands

Let me start by saying this: I would have included a before pic but I was so ashamed that I never took any pictures when I was constantly biting my nails/cuticles. I am in my early 20s and I've been doing this to them since before I can remember (early childhood). I first tried to stop around 14, and have struggled since then. It is such an ingrained stress response/habit that it's taken me years to retrain myself. It was easier to stop biting my nails and I haven't done so at all in 6 months, but my cuticles/surrounding skin are another story. This is something I still struggle with as it's triggered by stress and I don't realize I've started until they're trashed. However, since January it's happened less and less, now maybe once a month or less.

What caused the change in me? Honestly, it was never one single thing. I have been building my ability to resist for years. I realize this is cliche but one important thing is to never give up. I've had too many backslides to count, from 1 day to even half a year at the most. What's helped me is NEVER accepting defeat, and always eventually trying again. One motivating factor was that I've always wanted to have nice nails for getting engaged/married. It was in January that that became an event occurring sooner rather than later, so I will definitely say that has helped me stay focused!

There was one part of stopping the habit that scared me after years of constantly damaging my nails and cuticles: would they ever properly heal and grow back 'normal'? As of yet I still do not have one straight answer. I will say that the strength in my nails has improved, although it is slow going. I am still on the lookout for products to help with this, although I think only time will help. I also tend to have some nails which are very ridged, but they've also continued to smooth out. Finally, there is one cuticle I have which was permanently damaged in a way that's difficult to explain. Basically, it grows in three separate sections, almost as if it's cut. I was absolutely AMAZED when it started to grow 'connected' again! I will say this it sometimes splits still, but it is definitely progress and I hope one day it's completely healed. So, if you're in the same boat and worried permanent damage has been done, I can't make any promises but I will say it's amazing how well they can bounce back - even if it takes months or years to reverse it.

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What helped me:

• Homemade nail oil pens - all you need are empty containers and Jojoba oil
  
• Burt's Bees lemon cuticle cream - I use this as extra moisturization/to 'seal' in the jojoba oil
  
• Splitting/cracking nails? Use brush on nail glue - WAY more effective/simple than the tea bag technique for me personally!
  
• 24/7 painted nails - letting them 'breathe' may be generally good advice, but I promise you biting them is more damaging
  
• No nail clippers/glass files only - I cannot tell you how much this helped my nails to stay strong and not constantly crack/split
  
  There is honestly so much more I could say but this post would be a book! I'm just taking the time now to sit back and enjoy all of my progress.

I know what it's like to be unable to afford therapy, but if you can afford a book, I highly recommend the Self Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi. It's not a replacement for therapy, but it's a a scientifically-based self-help book aimed at dissecting thought distortions and undoing core beliefs. I did this with a friend last year and it was hard work, but I'm in a much better and more stable place now emotionally.

Since you're seeing a GP anyway, you may also want to mention that you're having a hard time quitting skin picking. This can be related to anxiety, OCD, and/or other mental disorders, and your doctor may be able to prescribe something to help. Your doctor may also be aware of resources in the area for people like you who need therapy but can't afford it.

On a personal level, even if you aren't in a place to believe it now, I want you to know that I don't think you deserve to be hurt, and I think you're valuable just by virtue of being a human being. I'm proud of you for being so honest and vulnerable with us, and I hope you're able to overcome some of the negative thought patterns that are leading you to self-harm. I hope you'll keep us updated with your progress ❤️

I have this too! I have vitamin e for my other scar but I hadn't thought of using it on my hands. Probably will at night since I wash my hands a lot during the day.

Edit: I sometimes use Glysolid during the day. It was a recommendation from this sub to help healing cuticle skin and I found that if I'm consistent in putting it on in the morning, I'm less likely to pick. It does seem to help the healing some, but I haven't been consistent enough with it to really say. According to their website:

> It forms a light "Shield" on your skin that protects from dehydration, and calms and soothes irritated skin. More than that, it effectively stimulates cell regeneration. Its ingredients promote the healing of small injuries, nicks and cuts.

I agree with other people saying that you need to keep a pair of nail clippers with you at all times. Running my fingers along my cuticle, if I feel any rough or sharp pieces sticking up, I will just clip it off, and there is not even anything left to bite and rip up! I started doing that when I started my nursing career, because open wounds on your fingers are very dangerous if you're around nasty germs all day. This nail clipper has truly saved my fingers. I highly encourage you hop on amazon right now and buy 2 or 3! It folds completely flat and also has a spot where it can be attached to a keyring. Also, stimulants can exacerbate any anxiety you may have. That means that drinking coffee or any other sources of caffeine can make your cuticle biting worse, so be cognizant of what makes you bite and try to reduce it. If necessary, see a psychiatrist and try to control any anxiety you may have. This was also part of what helped me stop! My cuticles look great, but just a year ago they looked just like yours! Good luck and I know you can do it!

I got something like this for when I was in work training- it helped with my fidgeting a little. I'm also trying out taking inositol, which some people says helps with anxiety and compulsive behaviors. If it makes a big difference, I'll post here. I also just tried drinking a lot of water once. Like, when I got the urge to bite, I would take a sip of water.

I got to about 2 months without biting my nails before, but all of that energy just went to other places. Nails made it easier to pick my skin, and I'd just paint my nails and flake the paint off :I

I've had positive results with QTICA. It's a small jar but just a dab of the stuff easily moisturizes all of my nails. I probably put it on an average of once per week or so and my original jar has lasted me a full year.

Check out the matte OPI Nail Envy.
It's marketed more towards men because it isn't shiny and no one would think you are wearing "paint." Its an AMAZING strengthener and the matte version is nearly invisible. I promise your male-ness won't be compromised with this stuff :)

EDIT: Just noticed the product description literally says "Ideal for Men." Also make sure it's the matte Nail Envy, not the matte Top Coat. They look similar but are very different.

Just what it sounds like, cream for your cuticles.

I use this stuff, because it works well and smells good. :)

Ooooh! Look what ya girl found (:
NailTek Nail Recovery Kit, Cuticle Oil, Strengthener, Ridge Filler - restore damaged nails in 3 steps https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007QBKX08/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_sSODDbNKFQK8C

What helped me to not bite also has been painting my nails. I bought a strengthening polish and took a few minutes every day to paint them with it.

I used these two:

OPI Nail Envy Original, 0.5 Ounce


Nailtiques Formula 2 Protein, .5 Ounce

You're very welcome. Your use of defo and chemist tell me you're Aussie or Kiwi :) I'm not sure what you can get there, but it's this one: http://www.amazon.com/Vaseline-Petroleum-Butter-Unilever-BEAUTY/dp/B0048K8SX4/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1463600229&sr=8-2&keywords=VASELINE+WITH+COCOA+BUTTER

No, it's not messy, it's not like gum, it's made to be reusable. It never really dries out but it's not very sticky. The one I have isn't even actually blue, like this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001CEMCXQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_1qceBbVGTJTQ3

So sorry for the late response but what really helped me stop nail biting once and for all is to use the Mavala nail polish that is specifically designed to stop nail biting (you can get it on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Mavala-Switzerland-Stop-Nail-Biting/dp/B0000YUXI0 or https://www.amazon.com/Mavala-Helps-Biting-Thumb-Sucking/dp/B00336WT3O). The taste is sooo bitter and disgusting that you don't want to put your finger back in your mouth. The only downside is that it can rub off onto finger foods or cooking, so if you eat chips or grab food with your nails you will taste the polish. But it's a small price to pay for long term reward. I cannot tell you how badly my nail biting was until I used this nail polish and now I have the longest nails out of all my friends. I hope you try it out some time! Good luck!

Get one of these: https://smile.amazon.com/Satin-Edge-Rubber-Cuticle-Cleaner/dp/B00198ZPU2 Make sure it has a scoopy thing on the one end and a curvy cuticle pusher backer on the other so there's nothing sharp there to tempt you. I'm amazed at how gross my clean-looking nails can get after I use this thing (and I use a nail brush every day in the shower, so it's not like I don't clean my nails!)

Late to the party, but they do sell it on Amazon.

We know because we've all been where you are. Don't do it just at night, do it as often as you remember. Get some of these to fill with your cuticle oil and keep one in your car, one at work, in a backpack, by your bed, etc.

How about these they have industrial in the name. Very Manly!

I struggle with the same issue, and I'm the same age as you! I've picked at my cuticles/hang nails since I was a kid and also pick my lips.

Therapy is a first great step. Your therapist might notice, but that's good. There's times where I'll be talking to my therapist and not even notice I'm doing it. She will point it out and ask what's going on in my mind that I defaulted to that.

I found when I got started into nail care (cuticle oil, pushing back my cuticles, painting my nails) that there was less dead skin to pick in the first place, but also I didn't want to ruin my hands because putting acetone on open wounds hurts very badly.

I use this for when I feel especially frustrated, I find being mindful of my actions and closely observing how I feel while I pick has helped me to decrease that a lot. I'm like you where I can absentmindedly do it. I also try to keep extra tubes of chapstick, I'm much less likely to pick if my lips are moisturized(which seems like an uphill battle at times).

Speak to those in your life if you feel their suggestions aren't helpful, because I experienced resentment towards partners who cast a 'well just stop' attitude to the situation.

If you ever need support or someone to talk with, feel free to PM me!