(Part 2) Top products from r/selfharm

She may not want to talk about what is going on (especially if your parents/mental health professionals have been asking her to reveal things that she may not feel comfortable revealing) but I think just being reminded how much you care about her and giving her lots of distractions are so so helpful.

I think it is FANTASTIC that she journals and I think that she should be encouraged to do so, but as much as your family might want to find out what is going on inside of her I think it is important that journals are kept private. I would share this with your parents. Speaking from personal experience, my parents read my diary when I was 18 (and again when I was 20) and what was a really good outlet for me then became something I was nervous about my parents finding and reading and it was so hard for YEARS to get back into it. I so can't stress this enough - journaling is tremendously helpful to work through difficult things that you may not feel like sharing with others but the privacy is something that should be respected. If she is concerned at the privacy of her journal, I would suggest one that comes with a simple lock/key mechanism. If anything it might give her piece of mind.

My first psych gave me a book once that was super helpful with depression/anxiety called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety I would look into getting it for her and seeing if it is helpful. If anything, if she is struggling with working through difficult feelings it can help make sense and organize thoughts and emotions with prompts and better help her relay these things to her mental health professionals and family members.

Hey there.

First of all, kudos to you for coming here. It shows you really love her and care about her recovery. Thank you for that. :)

Second of all, I'm going to suggest yoga. She doesn't have to go to a class if she's uncomfortable with that; there are plenty of DVDs she could do in her room or living room. Here's why I think it might be a good idea:

• I would think it'd be more difficult to abuse yoga as you would cardio exercise (when dealing with an eating disorder.)
  
• It forces you to concentrate on the movements and your breathing, taking away focus on self-harm.
  
• The endorphins released during the act will naturally make her feel happier and more relaxed afterwards.
  
• While doing the yoga, she'll feel a new appreciation for her body (one that may be self-conscious!) which could help her deal with the feelings of being fat and worthless.
  
• You get better at yoga if you keep at it, unlike activities like journaling. She'll see improvement, which will not only boost her mood but encourage her to keep at it.
  
• If you're still not convinced, check out this article and this one.
  
  It might be tough at first, but discuss this with her--it's been a great outlet for me. Short of actual therapy and medication, I don't know if you'll find anything else to not only help with the triggers but the emotions at the root of them. A good DVD for starting might be something like this. There is also this one, which I personally use, but I'm afraid it might be triggering for her (they often discuss weight loss, poundage, etc.)
  
  Good luck! Please let us know how it goes. :)
  
  -Molly

Always sterilize before and after use. I use rubbing alcohol to clean the blades. I also make sure to toss out blades and get new ones if the ones I am using look dirty or just get old.


As for keeping cuts clean. I generally get in the shower after and let hot water run on the cuts for a while. It seems to help them heal as well.
Dial antibacterial soap is the best soap to use to wash your cuts with. Try to do this 3 times a day if you can. But at least do it once a day when you shower.
Pat your wounds dry, and then apply a triple antibiotic ointment to them, like neosporin. This will help to reduce the chance of infection. I also suggest getting some gauze and paper tape to cover larger areas for the first few days. The gauze will let the wounds breathe but keep things from getting in, and keep your clothes and such from rubbing on your wounds. I have had many times where I would get bits of fuzz in my cuts from my shirts or pants.

Razors can also be made to last longer by taking old jeans and running the razors along them. This link has the method for disposable razors, but you can do it with just blades and things as well. It will help the razors last longer. http://www.ehow.com/how_5709307_sharpen-disposable-razor.html

Always make sure you dry your blade off well after cleaning and keep it in a dry place (wrap it in cloth if you want), to keep it from corroding. And just toss out blades when they get to bad. They are pretty easy and cheap to obtain. I just bought 25 double sided blades off amazon for $4 with free shipping.

As for the gauze I mentioned earlier. I bought 12 rolls of sterile gauze for about $5 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000YME9V0/ref=oh_details_o05_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1. They are long and I have been cutting the rolls in 1/2 or 1/3 to use. I wrapped it around my forearm as that is where I have been cutting. But you could also cut some and fold it into a square to tape over other areas.


I hope some of that will be of use to you. It is VERY important to keep your wounds cleaned as well as your instruments. And remember if your cuts start to get red, puffy and warm to the touch that is a sign they may be getting infected so make sure to check them and touch them, and if they look red and puffy and feel warm double your efforts with the cleaning and put more antibiotic ointment on.

Oh, and peroxide is good to use if you have debris in your cuts, like clotted blood or dirt or something. But if there isn't anything in them just use the antibacterial soap as peroxide will slow healing down some because it can open wounds back up some.

Good luck and be safe.

Several things have helped me through self-harm as a Christian...Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered 12 step program with a group specificlly for depression/anxiety/self-harm/life issues. I found the support there invaluable. The Life Recovery Bible goes well with this program or on it's own. Also Hope and Healing for Kids Who Cut by Marv Penner is a good read. And this talk on mental health in the church.

I've found it best to have support from every side- a therapist, a pastor, and other people in recovery who are walking with me. A pastor will not have the same tools as a therapist, and vice versa. I've seen a few Christian counselors and not all are created equal. It might take several tries to find someone solid that you click with. Self-harm is a complicated issue and it's best to take a comprehensive approach. Bio, psycho, social, and spiritual. This might also mean seeing your regular doctor for a check-up. Sometimes depression and anxiety are the result of a thyroid disorder (it's really common).

Meds are an option but don't feel they are the only way to go, or like some sort of magic fix. If you need them, they can keep your head above water while you work on the rest in therapy. The two work best in combination. But for some people therapy has also been shown to be as effective as medication on it's own. Do what's right for you.

Maybe check out some of these vids by therapist Kati Morton

Therapy First Appointment (and how to set it up)

Getting help when money is an issue

How to start and what to say

Confidentiality

What should you expect from therapy

What makes a good therapist

5 signs you are seeing a bad therapist

How to get the most out of therapy

What's the difference? Choosing your mental health professional

What type of therapy is right for me?

Psychiatrist First Appointment

Medication

Depression playlist

Anxiety playlist

Self Harm playlist

Managing mental health in school playlist

Trauma playlist

Free SH workbook (the sign up page asks for a lot of info which can be off-putting, but you can make everything up as long as your email works)

CalmHarm app


Two cheesy songs that somehow really helped me

Dead Come Alive - Tyler Jospeh

Be Kind to Yourself - Andrew Peterson

Hope something here helps!

I'm a shower self harmer too. One thing I really like is getting awesome scented fun soap. Sometimes it distracts me enough that I don't end up self harming. Also I really like these things http://www.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Fizzy-Color-Tablets/dp/B001250T76/ It maybe seems a little silly but the red ones, when wet if you drag them across your skin make a cool blood illusion without hurting yourself.

As always you seem to have a ton going on, but it also seems like you are working on some great plans to improve your situation. Hang in there.

Also please be careful of "coolguy_25" he's claiming to be a student studying counseling but it looks very sketchy. I wouldn't trust him.

If you're old enough, you can buy the tattoo cover thingies from amazon. They come in skin tone and plenty of people won't even notice that you're wearing them.

Tat2X Ink Armor Premium Full Arm Tattoo Cover Up Sleeve - No Slip Gripper - U.S. Made - Light - XL2X https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046MQWV4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_xxoS6kTuxsnqX

These are my favorite. Fit like a dream, very comfortable. VERY breathable. Not very noticeable. Kiiiinda pricy, they're sold by the single unit.

Depends on how likely they are to bleed on my clothes, honestly.

If they're super light scratches, forget it. No bandaids needed ever. If they're actively bleeding or cracking open and bleeding, I usually slap a Tegaderm on and leave it for a week. (Tegaderm is awesome, btw. Can't recommend it enough, as long as you don't mind the bandage being clear.)

No such thing as a dumb question!

Yes, steri-strips are sticky all the way, but they specificly designed to be safe to dissolve inside cuts, however, most of not all steri-strips and butterfly bandages are hypoallerginic, so make sure the ones you have are allergy-safe.

But you can use butterfly bandages if you don’t want any adhesives to stick to your cuts, make sure to find the hypoallergenic latex-free kind.


When applying steri-strips, don’t apply them in one direction; like right-to-left, right-to-left; this can pull the skin to one way and not secure the wound shut.

instead pinch the wound shut, apply one strip right-to-left, appl the second strip from left-to-right, you know what i mean? this way it’s secured shut and not gaps can be formed.

If you wanna be extra, you can apply them like in this video demonstration (although they forgot to apply them in different directions)

↑Same thing can applied to butter-fly bandages

Depending on the depth and length, You can take them off after 5-7 days.

note: one taking them off, make sure some of the dissolved steri-strip parts are also taken off, usually at the place of the cut. Like a small little plastic strip that broke off the strip.

You can also use scissors to cut excessively ong steri-strips in half, so you can have more strips to close a long cut if required. (Make sure your scissors are clean)


Ps. I salute you on the absolute man-willpower for not taking them off, you go gon’ get it, bucko!

You can get a pretty good clip on mic for $8 on amazon, if that is an option/desire for you.

I use this knife at work and buy carbide utility blades from time to time so I always have a fresh supply. I usually remove the blades and just use them individually when I'm doing it, but I still feel a sense of attachment to it, almost in a nostalgic way--as if it's a childhood toy or something.

Probably a full body wetsuit or dive skin (dive skins are thinner I think, usually Lycra instead of neoprene). Something like this maybe? You could probably get a long sleeved rash guard, but I don't know about legs. For small scale coverup you could use something like beige colored kinesio tape.

https://oregonrainsoap.com/lilac-8-oz-moisturizing-lotion/ I hardcore recommend this lotion for minimizing scars! I had a lot of raised, red, and "ugly" scars and when I used this lotion twice a day every day it made a HUGE difference. Idk how expensive it would be to get it too Australia but I'd look into any lotion with vitamin e (or even just straight vitamin e ointments like this https://www.amazon.com/Basic-Organics-Natural-Vitamin-Ointment/dp/B000GG0NHS/ref=sr_1_5?crid=XYP13W8OK5J3&keywords=vitamin+e+ointment&qid=1569764986&sprefix=vitamin+e+ointment%2Caps%2C172&sr=8-5)

I'm sorry that guy made you feel uncomfortable :( some people have no fucking manners

Gloves aren't a bad idea. I was going to say sleeves like this You'll have to search for one that matches your skin colour or you could get your dress colour. Make up also isn't a bad idea. Gotta look for a professional though.

https://www.amazon.com/Dr-Sheffield-Triple-Antibiotic-Ointment/dp/B002D3JKX0

https://www.neosporin.com/products/wound-care/original-antibiotic-ointment

This stuff.

(I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your reply)

I'm allergic to adhesives too! Medical tape and bandaids give me that awful rash. Its really been trial and error with me, trying out different products to see what works. I've used bandannas, or cut the toes off a sock to make a little mini "sleeve" to hold gauze on the cuts. I've also discovered from my tattoo artist a self sticking wrap that doesn't use adhesive vet rap its usually used for animals, but it works!

Not a cutter, but an ex-burner and (still; sigh) a hard head slapper, etc., etc., etc.

If the following statement resonates for you, and you want to get out of the black hole, have a look at all this, and reply to this message. (You're welcome to look my posts elsewhere on this sub-reddit, of course.)

"If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, and/or they are highly stressed by school, work, relationships or other chronic life challenges, they may have been programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to conflicting beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be, and then beat themselves up for not being able to meet their conflicting expectations and requirements."

Five items from my response template for lonely borderlines that might be helpful:

4) This article on an existential view of romantic love;

5) Pia Mellody's Facing Love Addiction, especially with respect to the flip flop from addiction to avoidance;

8) CoDA meetings;

9) Every so often rereading this article further quoting a young Krishnamurti on being alone vs. being lonely;

10) The practice of these 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing so that one is able to continue to see what is going on and know what to do about it.