Reddit reviews FRENCH CHILDREN DON'T THROW (B)

Marmakoide has been thorough, here is our experience, live.
Have our first 6 months old, living in UK, many people are asking us what we do right; we're not so sure.
We breastfed until 4mo, started solid about a month ago, pureed potato, brocoli, carrot, apple (introduced one at a time), no salt. Will move to chicken soon. One meal with solids a day so far.
She sits in high chair and is spoon fed ; lately she's able to grab the spoon to her mouth. No toy, no playing, same with bottles.
Apparently we let her complain more than others before we interven.
Many French moms report these praises of well behaved kids.
We made sure she was able to be by herself or with other people very soon. Knowing that we are not always nearby probably help her only call when there's an issue. So far it's kind of working.
Our British friends swear by bringing up bébé or [French children don't throw food](
https://www.amazon.co.uk/French-Children-Dont-Throw-Food/dp/0552779172/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DYQFRN2DNTF1S7J9Q0KQ). Haven't read them.
It seems to me to boil down to "you're not the king of me". Treat your baby like a drunk friend, there are things you would do to help them, but there are points where they need to hear "now you're just being a dick!".
Oh, and no screens.
Bedtime routine is: around 8pm, put in bed in already dark room, the end. Maybe come by once to put the dummy back.
Edit: exception to no screen rule is Skype with grandparents.

The perception in the UK is that your kids are much better behaved: http://www.amazon.co.uk/French-Children-Dont-Throw-Food/dp/0552779172 (There's another one in this series called 'French Women Don't Get Fat'!)

French family here. Everything you read about how French families feed their kids is true. Our kids are 2 and 4.

Kids here eat strictly four times a day, no exceptions. Breakfast. Lunch. Gouter (snack) at 4pm. Dinner. Nearly every French kid I've ever met keeps the same schedule.

At each of these meals, a variety of healthy choices are offered, and sometimes there are treats on the weekend. In our house, the kids start with warm milk and muesli in the morning, and maybe a pain-au-chocolat on the weekend. We sit as a family for lunch, which usually includes a main course, fruit, cheese and salad (they also get 3-4 courses for their school lunches).

The snack is the time of the day that kids are most often offered any "junk" food -- this is when kids eat birthday cake to celebrate a class birthday, or perhaps get to eat something at home that they've helped bake. Often it's just fruit and yogurt. Importantly, it's just big enough to tide them over until dinnertime -- not enough to fill them up.

Finally, dinner -- our kids eat earlier than we do in the evening, but it's always at the table and it's always real food (typically whatever the adults ate for dinner the previous night). After the main course, they are offered fruit, cheese, yogurt and perhaps a small chocolate if they've eaten well (we're rather indulgent by offering this on a regular basis). They sit at the table and we talk about their day.

Apart from that: zero. No snacking, no grazing, no giving in to demands. If the kids are hungry, we'll be sure to tell them the next meal that's coming up, and maybe even get them to help us preparing it (they are far more willing to wait if they can understand that it takes time to prepare the meal).

It's easier to enforce over here because they don't have bad examples when they visit other friends, and they've very quickly learned that when the kitchen is closed, the kitchen is closed.

No kid ever died from being hungry for two hours.

It's not nonsense. The difference is I would never claim to back up a thesis like this with 'research,' because I know it's a soft claim. That still doesn't make it incorrect. There are plenty of books about how french kids are better behaved:

This was a popular one a few years ago

I'm fully aware that someone could just deny this, but it's still out there, and there's no research that's going to support it either way because it's a matter of cultural relativism. Even if you could find data one way or the other it would only be as weak as my claim is now.

The people that are saying "Don't expect anything better from a two year old" are off-base. Having low standards for children is mainly an American cultural thing. I suggest reading "Parenting with Love and Logic" . Seriously, if you only read one book, make it this one. Make your fiance read it too.

There's not a lot you can do by yourself without your fiance's help. She will need to be the main enforcer. Be 100% consistent in your consequences, and act with empathy and concern, and not out of anger. It's important that she understands the consequence happened because she made a bad decision, and not because her parents are angry.

Another great book, if you are a reader, is French Children Dont Throw Food.