Reddit reviews How He Gets Into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser
We found 2 Reddit comments about How He Gets Into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
So basically, your MIL is caught in the Cycle of Abuse, which does not have to include any physical violence.
It may be time to expose her to this chart when she is telling you that she is leaving him. It may also be time to contact local DV resources and see what they can offer.
On average, an abused woman (even when it is "just" emotional, or financial, or sexual abuse) tries 7 times to leave. What you are witnessing is the normal trajectory of these relationships. I recently saw a reliable blog on domestic violence recommend this book, which I have not read. But, it sounds like it would help both you and your husband better understand her situation.
Find the book called "how he gets into her head"
https://www.amazon.com/How-Gets-Into-Her-Head/dp/1855942208
Is wthe only professional resource I've found that describes these men from the outside, in a way that hits home.
They all claim they had a bad childhood/had ex-girlfriends cheat on them (usually both), and then they test you with a slightly over the top reactions that put you on the spot for not understanding them better, due to their past.
Most people will simply move on from them at that point. This is healthy. Figure out how to do this yourself.
Don't be the one that understands them, and sticks around.
That's how they figure out who's their next source of sadistic joy.
The vast majority that grew up in abusive homes will make sure to never replicate that toxic behaviour. Some will use it as their excuse, or even make it up in order to gain sympathy where none is due.