Reddit reviews The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

I've been in a life that was basically shit. This book helped me more than anything else, The Gifts of Imperfection. Also meditation is free and does wonders. Check out The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. These two books really changed my life and helped me dig myself out of a state of deep depression. Another thing you should check out CBT therapy and read anything about neuroplasticity.

Ah man, seeing her share her copy of this book on instagram was a little too perfect.

I'd been in serial long-term relationships from age 20 to 37, never really "dated" during that time. After my marriage ended at age 37, I had no idea how to date. So, I really didn't.

I had a few FWB on the side, for a little over a year (mostly guys I was friends with, or were friends of friends I'd met through some social circle). No serious relationships until I asked out a long-time friend & coworker who'd been single for about 6 months before I asked him out. I was nervous as shit (especially regarding dating a coworker) but 1.5 years later, it's the best relationship of my life.

I really don't think I could have been ready to get into a relationship with this guy, though, without the HARD work I did on my thinking & behavior. I read about a dozen books on relationships, happiness, self-compassion, self-acceptance, and getting over emotional abuse. My favorite books from this time are:

1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. It really helped me understand what a healthy relationship looks like, what good communication looks like, how to keep a relationship strong over the long haul, and a bunch of other skills. I think this should be a mandatory read for everyone alive.
   
2. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown. Fantastic book about self-acceptance and loving yourself
   
   I guess I'd say... before you get into the dating scene, make sure that you have the confidence to be who you are, not who you think others want you to be so that they dont' turn you down. Be okay with people telling you no, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, be ok with telling someone else no or letting them down. Don't keep dating someone because you don't want to hurt their feelings, or they're too sweet, or whatever reason. Good luck out there.

It doesn't need to be super brightly colored. But white text on a black background just isn't enough.

Example 1.

Example 2.

Example 3.

None of those are super brightly colored. But they're eye-catching.

The Gifts of Imperfection helped me to get honest about how I feel instead of pretending my emotions don't exist.

And Switch on Your Brain taught me how manage my emotions by managing my thoughts. I didn't even realize how negative and berating my self-talk was until I read that book.

If you truly are not physically addicted (which is highly suspect given you drink every day), your "craving" could have been feeling that you needed to numb a a bad feeling or perhaps the habit pattern that one has to have a celebratory drink when something good happens. I would highly recommend reading Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection as well as The Power of Habit to delve deeper into both of those issues.

If you are open to a popular rather than a scholarly text, I can recommend Brene Brown (although she has the scholarly credentials), The Gifts of Imperfection. She writes a lot about the challenges of being authentic, showing your true self, in particular your vulnerability.
https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace-ebook/dp/B00BS03LL6

I bookmarked this but just got a chance to read it - I struggle enormously with some built-up issues surrounding my own perfectionism, and dread passing that perfectionist anxiety down to my son. Analysis paralysis is a huge struggle for me at work and home.

Brene Brown is a fantastic researcher, author and speaker who deals with perfectionism, vulnerability, shame, etc. Her book The Gifts of Imperfection really opened my eyes.

The book that got me started was "Compassion and Self Hate". There might be other books published since then, but for some reason this book really got through to me.

The thing that really, truly cemented this for me was a personal growth course done by Human Awareness Institute. These courses might be too "out there" for many, but oh my did they work well for me. Specifically, Level 2 focuses on self-love.

EDIT -- my wife reminded me about this book too. It is excellent: https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace-ebook/dp/B00BS03LL6/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1465698723&sr=1-1&keywords=brene+brown