(Part 2) Best home repair books according to redditors

Can you give an example of what you mean by misbehave, and what ages you are thinking of?

I think maybe sometimes I would use obviously ludicrous threats, like that I would tie them to the roof of the car, or put them on the roof of the house for the night. It was humorous, they knew it was empty, but it did communicate my annoyance or dissatisfaction with their behaviour.

We would rarely use real threats. Occasionally we would remove a child from a situation, for a while we would send them out of the room and ask them to come back in with a different attitude, or with an apology. If one of them hurt another we might leave the room along with the hurt child. But on the whole they are pretty well behaved.

There are a few books I've enjoyed reading:

Alfie Kohn's books: Punished by Rewards, and Unconditional Parenting.

Raising Happy Children

Playful Parenting

D.W. Winnicott's book: The Child, The Family, and the Outside World

This child sounds miserable and depressed. If you discontinued therapy what are you doing now to help her because from the tone of that text she is lacking self confidence and self worth.

I second the journal idea. Maybe you could have her read some inspiring teenage girl books to try to bolster her spirits and self perception.

Book for you https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Will-Confident-Courageous-Daughters/dp/0786886579

Book ideas for her http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Books-Self-Esteem-Teens-Young-Adults/zgbs/books/171187

It can't hurt. My parents did the Gentle Revolution stuff (https://www.amazon.com/Teach-Your-Baby-Gentle-Revolution/dp/075700184X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=XKCTFDFKQZ2705C7AW2H) not so much for me, but as part of PT for my brother who is ~ a year younger than I am. I don't remember learning to read and was reading full sentances and picture books at 2, was at 8th grade reading level in kindergarten.

I assume the math stuff works just as well, and my brother has some friends who do it- most of his friends are engineers at Nasa or Google, so they tend to be very tech oriented.

It can help, can't really hurt, and it gives you something to do that's structured play with the kid so you don't loose your mind.

The Father's Almanac might seem a bit dated now in places, but it's a classic. Also check out ahaparenting.com.

My ex tried to play 'Disneyland dad' during visits when he was still involved. Our kid still didn't care for him much. Be wary of over-correction -- don't let the father's pizza-and-movies-etc make you think the other house has to be all kale and handwriting practice. You should still schedule pizza-and-movie nights; better a kid a little too much junk food than have a lousy relationship with a parent. So long as it is not criminally bad, ignore BD's behaviour. "And BD skips all the activities that BM pays for over those weekends" -- right, well, that's his prerogative; she really shouldn't be trying to schedule activities during his time.

Plenty of people fantasize that Grandma's house with its unlimited cookies etc is the driving force behind bad behaviour at home -- 'he comes home spoiled,' etc -- but Disneyland dads and spoiling grandmothers are not genuinely capable of scuttling good parenting. The sort of bouncy behaviour kids exhibit after time away and indulgences is mostly a sign that it is time to re-connect with them. Mom might want to consciously book a bit of time to be extra present for him on his return -- maybe they can do a craft/building project together, or start a ritual where home from dad's is the time when you get to help make Sunday dinner. Something to give him some focused attention.

> she is looking to me to be more of a parent figure that just the BF

Did she flesh that out any more than that? It's not a good idea to play at parenting without commitment. It's fine to hang around and be a nice positive influence in the kid's life, but I would leave the discipline and parenting to the parents unless it's very clear that you're in it for the long haul.

Buy a basic decorating book like Use What You Have Decorating. I like this one because they rearrange the rooms using only what the homeowners already have, and don't assume you have 5 grand to go buy new crap.

When I bought my place I had a giant wall and did not have $1000 for properly sized Art for that wall. I ended up buying four large picture frames, put prints in two of them and decorative placemats in the other two, and hung them on the wall. There was math involved to figure out where the nail holes needed to be so the white space around and between the pictures was all symmetrical. Don't get sloppy with this.

I hate Burton White. That so didn't work for my parents.

My mum once bought me this rather dull book about stilton cheese for Christmas. She doesn't even have the excuse of trying to deliberately buy me shit gifts. She's just clueless.

Check out this book. See if you can get it at the library. If not, pm me and I'll order it for you.

By the way, you might find this book useful: https://www.amazon.com/Pad-Guide-Ultra-Living-Matt-Maranian/dp/0811826538

I'm not sure what part of the world you're in, but you're more likely to find kindred spirits in a big city, especially Southern California. Maybe spend some time hanging around your local antique shops--get to know the owners and the regular customers, and you may find others like you that way. Good luck!

Buy these, then send them to her dad, with a note saying "It sounds like you could do with the help!":

http://www.amazon.com/Refuse-Raise-Brat-Straightforward-Overindulgence/dp/0060392665

http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Not-Boss-Brat-proofing-Twelve-Year-Old/dp/0061346632

http://www.amazon.com/Wimpy-Parents-Toddler-Teen-How-Raise/dp/0446673676

http://www.amazon.com/How-Unspoil-Your-Child-Fast/dp/1402242069/ref=pd_sim_b_3

You'll only get one more, very angry phone call, but chances are that they'll stop after that!

Get a copy of How To Fix Just About Anything, available for almost nothing from Amazon. Supplement with googling. If in UK you can get what you need at B&Q, or Screwfix do next day free delivery for orders over a tenner.

Im doing pretty much just what you are, about to close on my first home. Purchased a home from 1948, old but in solid structural shape.


Some things i recommend once you find a house is of course a home inspection and on a older home get a sewage inspection. Home inspection cost by 330$ and a sewage inspection cost me 175$.

Id say the biggest thing is make sure you get that inspection!!

Doing the DIY things should not be that bad if you have some technical or DIY background but like you said since it your looking for a structurally sound house many of your repairs are going to be cosmetic, landscaping, improvements ect. Also id suggest getting a good book on home improvement. I use the complete book of Home Improvement as a good reference .

http://www.amazon.com/Better-Homes-Gardens-Complete-Improvement/dp/069620469X/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374657211&sr=1-4&keywords=complete+book+of+home+improvement


There are also plenty of good resources here on Reddit and even at Lowes/Home Depots website.

For all the parents out there, please please check out this book. You may even find it in your library. We started at about 24 months, and my son was reading Charlotte's Web by the time he was 4:

http://www.amazon.com/Teach-Your-Baby-Gentle-Revolution/dp/0757001858/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409340804&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+teach+your+baby+how+to+read -- no financial interest.

It's actually still available on Amazon.

Good for you.

As for your second problem: [Saint Gina Ford....] (http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Contented-Little-Baby-Book/dp/0091912695/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1411031316&sr=8-1&keywords=gina+ford)