(Part 3) Top products from r/BettermentBookClub

You're the one that needs to find yourself again then. I'd recommend daily meditation to accompany this meditation book:

(1) Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening https://www.amazon.com/dp/1622036050/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_wboYAbF706VED

This paying attention to yourself will help you gather your pieces of yourself.

And then I guess you're trying to be someone you're not, to gain the approval and validation of others. Maybe this is from childhood trauma, or how your parents showed you love only when you "acted" in a certain way, but my next recommendation will dive into all that:

(2) No More Mr Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/0762415339/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_LcoYAbM18P7XT

Then I'd recommend taking these courses created by Jordan Peterson to find out who you are at a deeper level, and then reconstructing you and building you up again but authentically and not as a "character":

(3) 2017 Personality and Its Transformations (watch all these lectures): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL22J3VaeABQApSdW8X71Ihe34eKN6XhCi

(4) https://www.understandmyself.com


(5) https://www.selfauthoring.com


Put in the work with what each material recommends and you'll grow into your true self. And just to let you know, I used to do the same thing and was a character until I unlocked my true being. My sister even said a few years back I had a "different" personality and it freaked her out, but she could tell from my authenticity and happiness that this is the real me now. The previous me was a character, and looking back, a depressed one at that even though I always seemed "happy".

What helped me also besides the introspective journey I recommend above, is talking to strangers. I'd meet people in bars and what not, and this was during a time when I was trying to learn how to meet girls, but an interesting thing happened: I started noticing how I act around people I don't know, and with the pressure gone of who I "should" be, I had the freedom to be who I am.

Another thing that's helping me to this day, is to get into a relationship that loves you for the real you. This comes after you've discovered yourself, but old habits may come up when you don't even realize it, and with my girlfriend she keeps me honest with myself.

Realize that this isn't a light switch, this is a hero's journey towards finding and unlocking who you are as a person, the peeling back the layers as you gain a deeper and deeper understanding of your true self. Change only happens to those that want it, and the fact that you took the time to read all this, and write what you wrote.. that means you want it.

See you on the other side.

What kinds of deductive reasoning? I'd recommend practice and study of a specific application of deduction over reading about it in general.

I've played several games that require deduction:

• Flow Free: Android iOS
  
• Hashi: Android iOS
  
• Slitherlink: Android iOS
  
• Paint By Numbers/Hanjie: Web (can be printed for pencil and paper), Web
  
• Electric Box: Web, requires Flash
  
  Other examples are Logic grids, Sudoku, and many others.
  
  I find that deduction is a skill that's easy to develop in a particular domain (like any of the above games), but hard to generalize. Playing the above games for fun, I've developed a better understanding of how to use proof by contradiction, but not much else.
  
  Those kinds of high-level ideas are probably best learned from a logic textbook like Introduction to Logic, but the abstract knowledge may not translate to practical skills without domain-specific practice and study.

>might not follow through with the lessons in the book.

This seems like the obvious avenue for improvement. If a lesson seems promising, try it.

Maybe it would help to try books that are more like workbooks? This is one of the best ever written.

I have three of them. Meditations, Tao Te Ching, and Man's Search for Meaning.

I read Tao Te Ching many years ago. I think it was above my reading level at the time as I can't recall much about it. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was reading or properly digesting it.

I have the Gregory Hays' version of Meditations. It's up next after I'm done Flow. So far Flow mentions quite a few things I recognize from Stoicism. Directly mentions Diogenes in the first chapter.

Man's Search for Meaning will probably follow shortly after Meditations.

I've only heard of the Bhagavad Gita, so that's as familiar as I am with it. I assume it's a book of wisdom or something like that from India.

I do make notes of the books I read, so if you'd like I can forward them to you when they're ready. Currently putting together some for How to Read a Book, The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance, and Atomic Habits.

off the top of my head:

Meditations, with The Inner Citadel as a reader

Letters from a Stoic

A Guide to the Good Life by Irvine

Do The Work by Pressfield as well as The War of Art by Pressfield

Managing Oneself by Ducker

Man's Search for Meaning by Frankl

What Predicts Divorce by Gottman

Nicomachean Ethics

Models by Manson seems to be popular on reddit

So Good They Can't Ignore You by Newport, as well

I'm currently reading Triumphs of Experience by Vaillant and find it insightful.

The Power of a Positive No

This was one of the best self-help books I’ve read. It’s not “it’s hard to say no but you just really need to say it sometimes even though you don’t want to”, it’s more like “what’s the alternative if I don’t say no; why do I want to say no” and is really helpful for understanding relationships.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553384260

This book looks really well reviewed:

• https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18872437-the-millionaire-fastlane | 4.4 stars
  
• https://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Fastlane-Crack-Wealth-Lifetime/dp/0984358102 4.5 stars
  
  Will definitely pick it up... thanks for the notice!

"Codependent No More" is a standard written by Melody Beattie. I have to admit it's been years since I read it, but I remember it having a profound impact on me. It made me see things from a completely different perspective. She has a bunch of other books as well that would probably be worth checking out.

the power of one by byrce courtenay is exactly what you're looking for. Very similar to the alchemist, very inspiring.

You bet!

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Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change

This book helped me immensely. It's written by a psychologist who has spent a ton of time researching the mechanisms and psychological basis of Procrastination, and he explains thoroughly both why we procrastinate and how to stop.

He also has a blog and podcast series where he gives further material and exercises to help stop procrastinating. I can't recommend this book more highly.