(Part 2) Top products from r/ENFP

/u/jugglegod, are you female? I ask because female ADHD plays out a lot differently than what has been generally assumed/stigmatized as typical symptoms. Here is a helpful article discussing the gender bias in diagnosis & how many go undiagnosed under the radar-- like I had!

To answer your question, I am an ENFP with diagnosed female ADHD. This was a good read for me yesterday that /u/sonofkratos submitted to the subreddit-- its about ENFP but you will be able to draw some similarities between behavioral attributes in this article and attributes of female ADHD.

I wasn't formally diagnosed until 2011 (age 21), so I have only been on medication for it since then. It has been extremely helpful in addition to methods I use to approach my symptoms.

• I am somewhat glad that I did not take Adderall during my teenage years-- although I would have greatly benefited from it with regards to my academics, home relationships, goal setting, and depression; stimulants are pretty hard on the body, fuck with your sleep/eating habits, and can be easily abused. As an adult I am able to distinguish my personal limits and truly use it for my disorder, and not just heavy studying/partying :)
  
  
• I'll add that if my child were to have it too, I would focus on more cognitive therapy in place of initial medicating during their developmental years. (my opinion) Not only to encourage healthy coping mechanisms, but there are none, if any then not enough, long-term studies that have been released about ADHD medication (stimulants) and the effect on the developing brain/body.
  
  A really important point I want to make clear is that in NO way did a diagnosis give me an excuse to use in my interactions with others for the way I am. It empowered me to approach my behavior (INTERrpersonal reactionary & INTRApersonal empathy) with cautionary methods to keep me on track.
  
  The diagnosis helped me understand WHY I was frustrated/depressed--
  
  
• I wasn't reaching the goals/expectations in work/school/extracurricular that I had all intention and motivation to complete because of my inability to focus and stay on track.
  
  
• I was negligent in my friendships with others (has to do with ENFP qualities too) because it was hard to organize myself in a way that kept my committed plans and maintained reciprocal contact
  
  
• I learned to map out micro-goal setting on a structured timeline, and to be forgiving with myself if I still didn't reach it-- more focus on staying on the track, not as much on hitting benchmarks
  
  
• A lot of post-it notes, scheduling reminders (Apple iOS Reminders app is super annoying, but annoying in a way that is effective for me-- features that remind you of certain things when you arrive at certain destinations)
  
  TL;DR I guess my coping methods are ways of constantly nagging myself-- but my biggest gain has been in developing personal empathy and emotional intelligence. As an ENFP, we're highly emotional/passionate, overthink things, and have trouble with relationships by reacting poorly to those that are close to us when we hold them to our often high (and perhaps unrealistic) expectations.
  
  These two books (here) and (here) have recently helped me a lot in the areas where my ADHD and ENFP collide.
  
  Good luck and sorry for the lengthy post!
  

Ok, take this suggestion with a grain of salt since I haven't read it yet, but it got good reviews on Amazon so I bought it, I Am That Girl. Of course, it's mostly directed at girls. :x

I also started partially reading The Happiness Project, which was rather interesting about one lady's attempt to improve one area of her life each month. Although, some of her tracking seems kind of tedious--I think I could do it for a short time, but then it would feel like a lot of work, but it did seem like an interesting theory to have a theme each month.

https://www.amazon.com/Energies-Patterns-Psychological-Type-consciousness/dp/1138922285

https://www.amazon.com/Depth-Typology-Isabel-Myers-Becoming/dp/0997607602

https://www.amazon.com/Building-Blocks-Personality-Type-Discovering/dp/0692235116

There are others as well but there is no methodical Jungian Functions bible. This is because Jungian Functions are not something physical in the real world you can touch, but are more abstract and like an idea. But I bet you can understand this for I notice your MBTI type is an INFJ and me as an INTJ...me trying to explain how some parts of reality works to an INFJ when they live and breathe this abstract stuff, things that are more of a rough ideal. Well I am laughing at myself for I bet you can SCHOOL ME on this subject =P

Aka this image / meme

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/1d/10/56/1d1056196fc858a7fca2de4fc31d8a74.jpg

I feel you. I'm in a similar boat. I graduated in May with a Pre-Med Nutrition degree and a Biology minor. I never wanted to go to med school, but I switched from pharmacy to education to pharmacy to pre-med nutrition because I was interested in holistic treatment. But my love for nutrition died because the program at my school WAS TERRIBLE, so towards the end of my degree I hated school and was totally unmotivated and I was blind to the future. I considered med school but a life of diagnosing, treating, and saying bye to patients I wouldnt see for another few months or years was not really appealing to me. I had a mental breakdown my senior year of college because of all the adderall I was taking and it took a tole on my personal life too. I would LOVE to travel and chill for a while but the reality of being broke and in debt after college is way too real. I want to go into the mental health field, but that means Ill be broke and in debt for like a decade, but I would love mental health way more than medical school. I want to surround myself with more disciplined creatives too, but most of the people I knew like that are moving away after school. Its hard to not let anxiety overcome me some days, but at least I know there are other people in the same boat. I recommend reading the book
https://www.amazon.com/Defining-Decade-Your-Twenties-Matter--/dp/0446561754/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1468940290&sr=8-1&keywords=the+defining+decade

To be more disciplined and creative I suggest meditating daily. the app headspace is AMAZING, no hippie buddhism is involved, it just really works to help strengthen our pre-frontal cortex's, the part of the brain that adderall works to stimulate. I found meditating REALLY helped me handle the reality of my situation, and be easy on myself while going in a good direction.

but yeah I definitely feel similarly to you. Im babysitting for the summer to calm my nerves after school, but I have nothing planned for the fall yet and im freaking out. I really want to work in the mental health field but its been impossible to find a job and Im terrified of being broke come the fall.

Read about attachment theory. You seem Anxious attached and your girlfriends are Avoidant attachment types. The theory will explain a lot about attachment in relationships and how to improve on it in the future and pick a right partner that fulfils your needs in a relationship.

Read this book and it will cool down your attachment system and allow you to think clearly. It did for me

Walt Disney was an ENFP. There are a lot of biographies about him and much of his adult life was documented. If you want a good read, this book is a great place to start.

Hope that helps. Marty McFly from Back to the Future and JD from Scrubs are also both ENFPs.

>I am sentimental and over value people to such an extreme level that I can't see when people are treating me bad even when they are.

Then I recommend you stay out of a relationship until you figure that out.

A long term relationship hinges on two things. Love and respect. Everything can be covered under those two words. You don't belittle a person you respect. You don't disrespect a person you respect. You show affection for a person you love, etc.

This goes two ways. Never ever put up with disrespect from your SO and never put up with disrespect from yourself towards your SO. This doesn't mean disrespect warrants a fight, but it does warrent a serious discussion, and if your SO thinks that you're being too sensitive, than perhaps it's time to look for another SO.

Some will probably disagree with me and say that sometimes you need to suck it up, but I disagree. If you allow disrespect in any relationship, it's going to fester into resentment and your relationship will be doomed sooner than later.

>No one expects to be a villain yet I think of myself as the worst badguy of them all. I just play my part the worst. I dont know what to do HELP!!

Work on changing your thoughts so you don't label yourself like that. Doing a few shit things doesn't make you a villain or a black sheep. It ignores the fact that you do some good things also and a bunch of neutral things just like everyone else. You wouldn't label yourself a breather simply because you breath and you do that a lot more than anything else.

I think you need to learn more about yourself. I realize that being alone sucks. I've been through that myself, but running into another relationship will likely not help.

You need to be able to respect yourself and it sounds like you have a lot of guilt. My best advice is to get a book called feeling good (http://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/0380810336 or get it from the library) It's an amazing book on cognitive therapy which gives strategies to analyze thoughts and deal with guilt. It's a very interesting and easy read. It's helped me. I think it can help you too. Honestly, I think everyone can benefit from it.

Sorry if this sounds rude. That's not how I meant for any of. It to come across. I'm laying in bed after a night of lightish drinking.

EDIT: spelling and autocorrect.

I plugged a few books a month ago over at our subreddit.

Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey – he is the one who introduce temperament theory (SP/SJ/NF/NT) and very easy to read, providing a good starting point to MBTI.

Personality Type: An Owner’s Manual by Lenore Thomson - Instead of going by the 16 sets of letters, this is a pure Jungian book to the MBTI. It is noted to take a few stabs at Keirsey and for filling itself with pop culture references known for its time.

Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery, by Riso and Hudson – While I am not as much of a fan of the Enneagram as I am the MBTI, I still pull this book out on occasion. It is a nice, complete overview of it. What I like about it the most though is it breaks down the 9 types into 9 levels of mental health. When you go from peak to valley, it is like reading a personal psychological horror story. For that reason, I often use it when discussing psychological and personality disorders as it relates to personality typing. Speaking of which…

The New Personality Self-Portrait, by Oldham and Morris – If you have any interest whatsoever in the DSM-IV personality disorders, but don’t want to read the whole thing (of which the PDs are a very small portion), GET THIS BOOK. It is not just a brief summary of each, its main focus is to go in the opposite direction of my previous recommendation. It views each personality disorder as an (unhealthy) subset of a larger personality style – of which one might have several – and then ask the question, “What will _____ be like if they were more mentally healthy?” It turns each disorder on its head by doing that.

Neuroscience of Personality, by Dario Nardi – I just finished this book. It takes each of the cognitive functions and explains what exactly your brain is doing when using them. From that it shows how each personality type’s noggin works. And despite being a book on neurology, it is very easy and quick read compared to all the above books. But the price tag IMHO is a bit steep. There is a 90 minute YouTube video out there of the author giving a lecture if you search for it.

[This book] (https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Relationship-Beginning/dp/0425172287) might help.

Believe it or not, you are addicted to the strife. It's what makes you fall in love with someone and bond. You say the comments hurt you a lot and then in those small moments of connection your body releases so many chemicals to your brain that this surge is addictive.

You can heal it, and it takes a lot of effort. Good luck!

My introduction to the topic was Do What You Are which I found very insightful and helpful in my first few years out of college. I'd like to learn more about temperament theory though, so I'm going to check Keirsey out. Thanks for the recommendation!

you should definitely check out his books! still life with woodpecker is a good place to start if you find the time.

It sounds like you're letting your predictions of the future desperately hurt your present. I would recommend this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Things-Might-Terribly-Horribly-Wrong/dp/1572247118/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372307706&sr=8-1&keywords=things+might+go+terribly+horribly+wrong

I've been suffering with anxiety on and off the past few years, and this book helped me out immensely. Another great book to read and directly help out your situation would be this one:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0451148452

I have the PDF for the second book, let me know if you would like it, and I can PM it to you.

Have you read "Quiet" by Susan Cain? She talks at length about about what you mentioned above.

The one that changed my life the most was Getting Things Done by David Allen. This book taught me how to turn all of my various ideas into concrete actions.

You might dig project or product management then! Both would use the CS knowledge, but product management is still a new discipline and the requirements are nebulous. Intercoms guide to product management was an excellent short white paper, and the product managers survival guide (amazon) was a killer read and basically the cliffs notes to the giant desk reference.

The Power Of Habit. Seriously, ENFPs need to fucking read this book cause we're generally shit at staying on task and focused. After reading this, i'm a little less shit at it and I should probably read it again.

Also Russell Brand's autobiography My Booky Wook. A wickedly funny and heartfelt insight into someone who is a complete off the wall ENFP.

Oh yeah, I know that feeling. I was stuck in that hell for years. My escapes were Netflix binges and unfinished craft projects.

I read a ton of self-help books over the years trying to find a way to overcome this. Some were helpful to me, some weren't. What I learned is first, you need to figure out what is behind your actions, or lack thereof. Once you figure this out, you can take steps to overcome it.

Is your inability to finish things due to perfectionism? Fear? Avoidance? Shame? Self-hatred? Lack of discipline? Try and work out what underlies your issues with completing things.

Here are a few books you might find helpful.

Break Free: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in 3 Steps

Beat Fear: The Science of Overcoming, Managing, and Using Fear to Live on Your Own Terms and Break Free of your Mental Prison

The Science of Self-Discipline: The Willpower, Mental Toughness, and Self-Control to Resist Temptation and Achieve Your Goals

The Disciplined Mind: Strengthen Your Willpower, Develop Mental Toughness, Control Your Thoughts, and Get Rid of Your Inner Critic