(Part 2) Top products from r/bisexual

This isn't my specific area of expertise (I mostly study sexual orientations) but my understanding is that men tend to develop a more static "sexual repertoire" following puberty/adolescence than do women. Before this time, nearly anything can find its way into a man's repertoire -- so that if a guy (for instance) happens to begin his masturbatory life jerking-off to women's shoe catalogs, because it's one of the few sources of erotic stimulation available to him at such a young age - he may well develop an erotic attraction to women's shoes as an adult. This is to say, a shoe (even without a woman attached to it) can arouse him.

This attraction to an inanimate object or to an object (body part, animal, ...) that is not seen as sexual by the majority of others is a true fetish. We tend to conflate fetishes with paraphilias, which are any sexual act/attraction/... outside of the norm. This would include bondage, BDSM, role playing, fetishes, and other "unusual" sexual acts (urination, e.g.). Whereas a fetish, is strictly defined as a sexual attraction to a specific, often non-sexual, object (ex: shoes, underwear, feet, hats, bees, dirt, lightbulbs, ... penises--if you're a straight man). Therefore, a fetish is a type of paraphilia; but all paraphilias are not fetishes.

While many women enjoy and are turned on by paraphilias (dom/sub, e.g.) and may find particular parts of a lover's body enticing (a man's arms), we don't consider these true fetishes unless she can reliably be aroused by some non-sexual object (such as a pair of socks) even when there is no person in/around said socks.

Whereas many men will report that they are undeniably aroused by particular articles of clothing (stocking, panties, jock-straps, socks), body parts (feet, hair, wrists, penises), or other objects (food, plants, blankets, balloons) even when no other person is seen along with the objects or (as in OP's case) in spite of the attached person/man.
It seems that men's sexual interests/sexual repertoire "closes" at some point. That is, at some point near the end of puberty, a man is sexually attracted to anything and everything he will be sexually attracted to for the rest of his life. This isn't to say that he may not discover some lesser or less explored attractions later in life. But that is to say, that if you're 35 and have never been turned on by a shoe -- it's very likely you will never be.

[And to be fair, I'm not sure how sexual orientation fits into this model. That is, does a man's brain catalog male and/or female into the sexual repertoire or does it simply catalog "human?"]

Women's sexual repertoires seem to remain much more open throughout their lives, which as a bi-product means that fetishes aren't locked into their sexual repertoires in the same way as they are for men. This is usually cited as the reason why women seem to be more sexually fluid than men. (Although this is typically misunderstood to be about sexual orientation -- which as I noted is not necessarily true as such.)

There is a great chapter about this in Jesse Barring's book Perve if you're interested in reading more about it.

So, if you want to open the relationship to the possibility of sex and love with another person, and you believe you have the capacity to love and honor both of them, I would like to encourage you to read a book or two before you move forward with your boyfriend.

(it's not just for girls)
https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Girls-Guide-Polyamory-Relationships/dp/1510712089

(a little more rules based than I prefer but still good)
https://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Creating-Sustaining-Relationships/dp/157344295X

You might also try posing your question in r/polyamory. Those folks have good advice on this stuff and lots of good experience to draw from. And they're totally bi-friendly.

Well, I will suggest you read Straight Science? for one argument about how homosexuality can lead to reproductive success and increase the fitness a human social band and as a species. Since we know there is genetics involved in sexuality, the central argument is that having the "gay genes" expressed in some capacity may increase reproductive success.

This leads me to an important point most people gloss over when discussing sexuality: As Kinsey and the legendary scale points out, and current understandings of sexuality also make clear, sexuality is fluid and rarely absolute. When I say absolute, I mean those that are 100%/exclusively hetero/homosexual. I find this important because means we have to consider identity and how identity is created. As Michel Foucault and other cultural studies scholars have pointed out, identities involve social construction, and the "homosexual" identity is a relatively new one. When thinking about the adaptive advantage of homosexuality, homosexuality in this case is a set of behaviors that are coded for on a genetic level and not as an identity that is only partially informed by the genetic level (the other part being environemtnal/cultural).

Other hypotheses have been discussed such as kin selection/Gay Uncle hypothesis and population control (which I think is dubious). Less competition, more cooperation? This is an actual puzzle human behavioral biologists are currently tackling because we know it exisits on a genetic level, ergo, it involves evolution in some capacity.

Living in a Southern state, I find it difficult when the LGBT section of the library or the bookstore, when there is one, is two shelves of porn and one shelf of lifestyle subject matter. I can expect 1/3rd to 1/2 of what's not porn to be devoted to gay men and coming out, or just coming out stories.

While that is important, it's frustrating because I rarely find books supporting bi, trans, or genderqueer people. I may get lucky and find a history book of the lgbt rights movement. I was amazed when I found a book about Bi men for sale; just about everything else about our culture seems to imply that bi men just don't exist.

But one of the most aggravating problems about being lgbt in the South, and there are many, is the complete lack of resources for religious lgbt people. For many, coming out also means completely rejecting their faith since it will not support them; and this makes it harder to come out in heavily-religious areas. We just don't find books and resources to show that faith and lgbt life can function hand-in-hand. Instead we have families that kick their children to the street because they're "goin' to the Devil."

Soulforce.org has a really useful campaign where they address some of these religious issues and they have several pamphlets for coming out in very religious households; they have arguments backed up with Biblical passages explaining what the Bible actually has to say about homosexuality.

Some interesting books include:

• Bi Men: Coming Out Every Which Way by Ron Jackson Suresha and Pete Chvany
  
• The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski
  
• Hidden From History: Reclaiming the Gay and Lesbian Past
  
• Trans-Gendered: Theology, Ministry, and Communities of Faith by Justin Edward Tanis
  
• Becoming Two-Spirit: Gay Identity and Social Acceptance in Indian Country by Brian Joseph Gilley
  
• Two-Spirit People: Native American Gender Identity, Sexuality, and Spirituality by Sue-Ellen Jacobs, Wesley Thomas and Sabine Lang
  
  Sorry if my book list is a little dated; if anyone has any more books to suggest, I would be interested in reading them.

If you are interested in what these lovely humans are doing now:

Avan just released a book called Mixed Feelings

Liz is staring on CW's Dynasty which you can also watch on Netflix. She's also an incredible singer and you can listen to her on her YouTube Channel

I'm not Muslim myself, so I can't personally advise you. There is a book called Living Out Islam, which may be of interest to you. http://www.amazon.com/Living-Out-Islam-Lesbian-Transgender/dp/1479894672/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404956944&sr=8-1&keywords=Living+Out+Islam It's about the experiences of queer Muslims. While I haven't read it myself, but I understand it talks about reconciling one's sexual orientation with Islam.

If you happen to be in Canada, take a look at this website aimed at LGBT Muslims:
http://salaamcanada.org/

Even if you're not in Canada, you may want to browse the articles section.

Also, this video is from a queer muslim guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNIpfrXnteU

Edit: Another video you might like is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vufj-uiKglk&list=PL30EPm3IwYp-qGTIT81RR--E3pA9Ypru4&index=21

He means actually helpful in terms of them wanting to embrace the perspective and life of a sexual minority and thus enable society to be less hetero-typical. That's my interpretation anyway. This book is being published soon about how sexuality may be one aspect of humanity that could be subject to change. His argument is it's better to talk about it now and harness it for liberation: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Drugs-Chemical-Future-Relationships/dp/0804798192

I loved this book as a pre-teen, and I bought it for my niece recently. It's been updated to include sexting and cyberbullying and stuff <3

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729

I can't really endorse this book personally, but there's some medical research that suggests a majority of people who read it and do the exercises for a month see real improvement: https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

dont forget "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"", "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt"""", and of course, the thrilling "Buttception: a butt within a butt" (these links are nsfw obviously)

Evolution's Rainbow by Joan Roughgarden is (somewhat?) related -- it does an excellent job of comparing different societal/cultural expectations of sex, gender, and orientation vs. actual instances of sex/gender/orientation in hundreds of species, including humans, chimps, and bonobos. it's definitely biology-aimed, but you don't need much of a bio background to follow it.

thanks! a bunch of colors are up for sale here

There are a few books that are considered standard reading for poly people

• The Ethical Slut by Easton & Hardy
  
• Opening Up by Tristan Taormino
  
• More Than One by Veaux, et al
  
  For me I would also urge anyone who cares about relationships of any configuration to read Nonviolent Communication by Rosenberg.
  
  Edit: Formatting.

http://www.amazon.com/BRS-Behavioral-Science-Board-Review/dp/1451132107/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422654881&sr=8-1&keywords=brs+behavioral+science

The ins and outs of gay sex

I bought it through Google so I could read it on my phone.