(Part 3) Top products from r/infp

Henry James. The very height of linguistic English romanticism. "Portrait of a Lady"

I adore James. And he was a master of punctuation; I challenge anyone else to create a paragraph of two entire pages that is perfectly cogent.

James was a literary romanticism god.

Bonus edit - My college English prof hated James. When he found out I loved HJ, college prof gave me all of the James books in his personal library. I was elated, I still have them. :)

https://www.amazon.com/Portrait-Lady-Penguin-Classics/dp/0141439637

I would suggest 12 people is too much for anyone to manage. The basic rule of thumb I have always related back to is no person should be responsible for more than about 7 people directly. But if you are stuck with the 12 with then my first thought would be to quickly identify 1 or 2 of those people to sort of run a small team within your team. I guess this depends what you do for work, but maybe silo'ing the team into some unofficial groups might make it easier?

I am a team leader. I look after three-four people currently. Very manageable. I have previously been in a position of managing a larger team and found it very daunting as well. Smaller teams are better are way better for us INFP people. I have been fortunate enough to have been involved in quite a bit of business coaching/leadership training over my years. This stuff is invaluable if you can get in on it, and don't consider it a once only affair. Keep revisiting this stuff to keep it fresh and give you new tools.

Also, a book recommendation. It's short but very good. http://www.amazon.com/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0399144463

At 27 I did. Wish I knew sooner because my life has been improved dramatically by acknowledging who I am rather than who I think I should be (which was largely determined by others' expectations of me).

If you want to deep dive, I'm a huge evangelist concerning the personalityhacker podcast/website -> https://personalityhacker.com/

You can find some INFP-specific podcasts on the site which can validate a lot of things in your life.

There are also some neat books that I think are great introductory/overview material to this area of study that you can probably find at your local library like the ones below. I recommend them to people that I think find MBTI-related study interesting/want another lens to look at themselves with.

(My favorite broad introduction to types. Hardly technical but accurate, I believe)
https://www.amazon.com/What-Type-Discover-Who-Really/dp/014026941X/

(Career focused one)
https://www.amazon.com/Do-What-You-Are-Personality/dp/031623673X

(One that talks about the theory in general but gives interesting suggestions on how to communicate with different types [note to self, look at what you need in conversations under your section to get your needs met conversationally])
https://www.amazon.com/Art-SpeedReading-People-Speak-Language/dp/0316845183/

(One that talks about personality types for children but can still be used to be insightful for yourself)
https://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Nature-Understand-Childs-Personality/dp/0316845132/

(Excellent book about just infps)
https://www.amazon.com/Comprehensive-INFP-Survival-Guide/dp/1945796154/

Warning: if you're an INFP and you start looking at information about other types, you will probably be constantly debating in your head as to which type you are. This is normal.

I think the best thing an INFP can do with such self knowledge is to a build a life to get their needs met without being righteously indignant (i.e. a jerk) about it when faced with resistance

I'm a huge fan of short stories. 20 pages (give or take) and the story is run from beginning to end.

Here are some superb short story collections -

The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories
By LEO TOLSTOY

http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/179299/the-death-of-ivan-ilyich-and-other-stories-by-leo-tolstoy/9780307388865/

John Steinbeck is a maestro of the short novella. An American master. The Short Novels of John Steinbeck

http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/305862/the-short-novels-of-john-steinbeck-by-john-steinbeck/9780143105770/

Mark Twain did some of his best work in short stories.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/complete-short-stories-of-mark-twain-mark-twain/1100302841

Kurt Vonnegut's collection of short stories Welcome To The Monkey House is one of his best books.

http://www.amazon.com/Welcome-Monkey-House-Kurt-Vonnegut/dp/0385333501

Here is a fine work, not much read in the US these days sadly, but I feel this work will rise again. The Guardian rates it as the 58th greatest literary work of the 20th century. I agree. A much larger undertaking than short stories, John Dos Passos 'USA' trilogy, U.S.A.: The 42nd Parallel / 1919 / The Big Money is a longer term project in understanding how the pieces fit together -

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/oct/27/100-best-novels-john-dos-passos-nineteen-nineteen-1919-usa-trilogy

We all have our short-comings and limitation. Also we have our uniqueness. We must look at things that we do right. Where we have a flow. We must seek knowledge and wisdom. Philosophy. These things makes us better. Rather they reveal the best parts of us.

Here are some books that have helped me:

• Stephen Covey 7 habits
  
  
• The Power of Now Eckhart Tolle
  
  
• The Art of Power- Thich Nhat Hanh
  
  
• Listen to Alan Watts & Jiddu Krishnamurti
  
  
• The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything
  
  Here are some things I have saved that I read on and off
  
  "What you need now to do is, to check how much you are on the feeling level and how much on the thought level. Most are, and naturally, on the thought level because that is our comfort zone. We have to act on that level. It is the functional level. We need it to study, operate, plan, achieve and so many other things like research, analysis, But we need the feeling level to relate to others. Sadly this is much neglected and we use our thought level to deal with others. we are not in touch with our feelings. To be a sensitive person we need our feelings. We will even rationalize away our feelings. So this is the beginning. "
  
  "Feed your head." -Grace Slick
  
  Where you are headed is more important than how fast you're going, yet people are consumed with speed rather than direction.
  
  Concentrate every minute on doing what's in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can, if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable. You see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life? If you can manage this, that's all even the gods can ask of you.
  -- Marcus Aurelius
  
  Check /r/Stoicism or r/meditation
  
  The bad things, don't do them.
  The good things, try to do them.
  Try to purify, subdue your mind.
  That is teaching of all buddhas.
  
  "If you are becoming a more patient, kinder, and less violent person, you are truly learning life's lessons."
  
  Be a Wanderer and find the inner master that lies dormant within you.
  
  

For me, meditating on no-thought daily. Reading into zen philosophy, and incorporating it into my life. I absolutely adore Alan Watts, and he's a great place to start - I'd recommend The Book if you want to jump in the deep end, or The Wisdom of Insecurity if you want to start more shallow.

Once you re-orient your life-philosophy (dorky as that sentence sounds) to focus on the now and the recognition that reality goes far beyond the labels we apply to it, the daily maintenance is rather easy. I meditate to clear my mind and re-orient myself, contemplate, and listen to what my body needs - not every person that follows zen does this, but I do, and for me, it's the healthiest, best thing I could possibly do.

I know you're joking, but if something inside you really feels this way, there's a book I sincerely reccommend: https://www.amazon.com/Intimate-Connections-David-D-Burns/dp/0451148452/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469548148&sr=8-1&keywords=intimate+connections

Yes, I know the cover and title look cheesy, but this book literally changed my life from feeling like "Nobody is ever going to want me and I'm going to die alone!" to "I'm completely comfortable with being single right now". It just really shaved off that feeling of desperation that can so easily eat someone like an INFP up.

Pablo Neruda is my poetic spirit animal. His words are incredibly lush, deeply evocative, and wildly sensual. I would recommend The Essential Neruda for a wonderful introduction to his work, and One Hundred Love Sonnets to stir the soul and make you weak in the knees. :)

I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 23 and began treatment within six months. It changed my life; six years later and I am a confident expert and leader in my field, with a level of self-esteem and joy that I never thought achievable before.

If nothing else, do yourself a favor and read Driven to Distraction!

I would suggest Influence and Pre-Suasion by Robert Cialdini. They both do an excellent job explaining how people make decisions in the heat of the moment. He includes lots of stories and examples so they are both a very interesting read.

Yeah this is called Journey to the Heart

It has bunch of good meditations. I snapped a picture of the one at my yoga studio.

I haven't picked a new book yet, so don't have a "current" read ongoing.

I just finished The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion over the weekend - was a tough one to put down! Really great read!!

On the negative side, a couple books back I read John Grisham's Gray Mountain - I really wasn't impressed. The story was ok, but the ending really left a lot to be desired, imho.

Cool, have you read The Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor Lavey?

I'm just gonna leave this here and run:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Authenticity-Hoax-Things-Happy/dp/0061251356/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

the Diamond Age

Friday

the Sparrow

the Blind Assasin

Parable of the Sower

On the one hand I notice this trait in myself in watching violent movies and reading military history. Right now I'm reading The Kindly Ones by Johnathan Littell. It's a historical memoir written from the perspective of an officer in the Einsatzgruppen on the Eastern Front as Nazi Germany advances towards Moscow and later his experiences in the concentration camps. Even when I was in middle school I remember my parents would ask me why can't I read about good things. I have no interest in reading about good people unless they are destroying evil people. When I was 14, I rode my bike to the library to read the book On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society in secret. It was an enlightening survey on the true cost of taking a human life. The book as a whole really struck a cord in me when it broke people down into categories of sheep, sheep dogs, and wolves here's the article.

But I also think people have a tendency for voyeurism. The film Nigh Crawler comes to mind. People are seeking a hit of dopamine on the late night news from garden variety brutality and macabre. The Amanda Knox trial or the German pilot who just crashed the jetliner into the Alps. Shit, they're probably about to talk about a murder in the inner city right now.