Reddit reviews Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Your boyfriend was extremely cruel to you. I don’t believe you need to be better. I’ve been in similar situations, and it sucks to be the person who is trying while the other is disengaged, dishonest and disdainful. I truly believe you deserve better, but I understand that life is imperfect for many of us.

I will say that the following site and book helped me think about and calibrate my situation and what behavior I’d accept from people: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-blog/

This book described my power dynamic even in a “steady” relationship: https://store.baggagereclaim.co.uk/product/mr-unavailable-and-the-fallback-girl/

I don’t think the blogger who maintains the site is a certified therapist, but she’s real and gives good perspective and advice IMO. She offers paid consults as well. Among the most useful advice she gives is about boundaries.

After i started reading her blog, i began to try to understand why my behavior around boundary setting was so fitful. That led to a book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejectin... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TZE87S4/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_rlOzCbF2XNC0T

... which helped to lead me to a subreddit i do find very helpful: raisedbynarcissist.

Have a wonderful nighr!!

I had the same experience! One book I found from that sub that was super useful was “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents”. I definitely recommend it if you want to feel some compassionate validation and ways to move forward.

Someone here once recommended a great book that deals with this exact struggle. It helped me a lot: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Yes. I grew up in what could be called "childhood emotional neglect" by some. My parents had no clue how to engage with me emotionally and when I was very young I kind of subconsciously decided that meant I wasn't understandable or worth listening to. When I did try to bridge the gap and share personal information, it was almost like they weren't listening. This book really shed a lot of light and led me down a path of healing.

Edit: This sounds accusatory-- it's not their "fault", really. They just didn't and don't have the tools to really connect with people on an emotional level and it made a huge impact on my life.

The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents


The second has an unfortunate title to share with a parent but it’s really good insight into emotional development.

Welcome fellow scapegoat! I recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, it really helped me.

Also head on over to r/raisedbynarcissists if you haven't already!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TZE87S4/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Big oof, my dude.

Okay. If you're in Nigeria I don't know what your situation is. If you're in North America your parents may be doing things that Child Protective Services may want to get involved over. Speaking as someone who grew up with parents that were both abusive and religious, I'm going to recommend a book I don't flog as much normally. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents walks you through what is wrong, why it's wrong, and how to fix it. Keep in mind some of the advice is for people who have money and their independence; don't do anything that will come back at you.

But it teaches you about boundaries and what parents should do and what exactly is wrong when parents do terrible things. It helped me heal from serious shit. I recommend you give it a shot. As usual, I'll also recommend Mind Over Mood- but that's a skill-building book and I think you might benefit more from the "here's what the situation is" of the Adult Children book.

For what it's worth, I believe in you and I think you're a good person who deserves to be happy.

I think I may have some insight to offer. I know this is a touchy subject, but this video and this book can tell you how to do what you want to do. The problem is that they are both long and boring, and I don't think you love him enough to sit through them and absorb the message.

You could try passing them on to him to see if he loves you enough to watch and read them.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - I think mormon parents struggle almost universally with emotional maturity and manipulation, which I think this book addresses really well.

All About Love - Bell Hooks - Amazing. You won't regret reading any of this, especially if finding and understanding love is something you're interested in.

Anything by Brene Brown, but especially Daring Greatly and Gifts of Imperfection. Nobody does vulnerability and shame like Brene Brown, and I think us exmos really struggle with those things.

Prometheus Rising - Robert Anton Wilson

Bullshit Jobs - David Graeber

The Failure of Nonviolence - Peter Gelderloos

The Revolution of Everyday Life

Curse Your Boss, Hex the State, Take Back the World - Incredibly interesting take on history, spirituality, and what is to be done.

Also, for your own good, stay away from Jordan Peterson and Eckhart Tolle. You can get all the benefits of their books and none of the garbage in better places.

Good luck!

Yes! And I definitely think seeking help (however that looks for you - books, support group like RBN, therapy) can make the difference between continuing the cycle and breaking it.)

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists

\^I've read the first and am reading the second now. I'd recommend both!

Written by an ACON:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00HJBMDXK

Fluffy but useful:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00TZE87S4
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0425273539

Implementation details:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0753806703

Together, the above have helped me establish that a lot of my behaviour and painful experiences until the recent past were essentially the fight-or-flight system being triggered by stimuli related to fear conditioning. The painful memories are indelible, but the cortex can train the amygdala to "hold-your-fire" enough of the time that life can be enjoyable and rewarding, even though there will still be times when the cortex is too tired/weak to keep things under total control - but even then, it's possible to "just sit with the pain" and accept it, rather than try to avoid it and cause more problems. Good luck!

Still working on healing through mediation, therapy, DBT techniques, codependency recovery and readings. Read through a few codependency books as well as Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and [Fatherless Daughter Project] (https://smile.amazon.com/Fatherless-Daughter-Project-Understanding-Reclaiming-ebook/dp/B0125VU358/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1505743370&sr=1-1&keywords=fatherless+daughters).

https://www.amazon.com.au/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4

has anyone read https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4 ?
opinions?