Reddit reviews The Happiest Baby on the Block
We found 49 Reddit comments about The Happiest Baby on the Block. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Great product!
We found 49 Reddit comments about The Happiest Baby on the Block. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Happiest Baby on the Block
Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
Everything you describe is perfectly normal. The first few months are a marathon, and it's perfectly natural to feel tired and frustrated.
Have you ever tried a natural teat bottle, like Adiri? If baby absolutely will not take a bottle, you can try feeding him with a dropper. Contact your local Le Leche League who will be able to give you advice, they are a great resource.
Bennett actually sounds like a good sleeper for a three month old! We found that co-sleeping worked best for us to try to get sleep and get baby accustomed to sleeping at night. Be patient, he will get better and better at sleeping long stretches, but he sounds like he's already doing great giving you those long stretches at least some of the time.
Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? It's got great advice for soothing a colicky baby and getting him to sleep, some good common sense advice.
Hang in there! It gets easier, it really does, and the time will fly by.
While not geared specifically for Dads, I thought Happiest Baby on the Block was the most insightful and helpful.
I'm also signed up for BabyCenter.com emails. You put in the due date and it emails you weekly with updates on how your baby is developing in the womb. You still get emails after the due date explaining new developments.
I took back my downvote, to comply with reddiquette and came back to post an explanation as to why you might be being downvoted: [Babywise] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Becoming_Baby_Wise#Criticism) is criticized in the mainstream medical community and my daughter's pediatrician's office specially recommends against it.
Also, there is a chance you may change your opinion once your own child arrives. Most babies just naturally fall asleep during/after feedings, so not to nurse them to sleep would mean having to actively wake them back up. Which makes no sense during nighttime and overnight feedings. But you'll see how things go with your own baby!
If you are reading up on sleep habits during your pregnancy - I highly recommend [The Happiest Baby on the Block] (http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466).
> Would a baby that gestated for 12 months be 'on par' with a 3 month old baby? further along development?
To address that specifically, you might look into Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block. Something he discusses at length is the "fourth trimester" and how underdeveloped our infants are because of when we birth them. He specifically focuses on self-soothing mechanisms and sleep, but the research is pretty interesting and does a lot to suggest the difference those 3 months would make.
"Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. http://www.amazon.ca/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466 Best book I own, best "thing for baby" I own and voted #1 way to get sleep by my hubby and I. oh and, congratulations!
So... movies, tv and other works of fiction are seriously NOT where you'd want to get childcare or healthcare advice. Even if they're correct, it's a coincidence. Even internet research needs to be read with a critical eye.
Google and read about SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. And talk to your OB and/or Pediatrician when your child is born if there are special circumstances involved.
Generally, the advice nowadays is to always have the baby sleep on its back. With no blankets, a firm mattress with just a fitted sheet and no bumpers, even. The idea is to keep airflow open at the baby's face.
Humans have a reflex where if they don't get enough oxygen, they wake up or their bodies just force themselves to breathe. But this reflex is apparently not very well developed in infants, so they might be ... just stopping.
That said, babies do seem to prefer sleeping on their fronts and sides - source: Harvey Karp, MD., Happiest Baby on the Block.
Mine is probably going to be a back sleeper, unless there's a reason why she can't... but if I'm rocking her to sleep in my arms, she might be on her side or front.
Happiest Baby On The Block literally saved my sanity. I could quiet the little man down in seconds, felt like magic. lol
Material Goods for the baby:
Carseat,
diapers,
wipes,
baby nail file or baby mittens (newborn nails are SO SHARP),
weather-appropriate clothing (go with the elastic-bottomed gowns for the first 3 months (you want easy access to diapers),
old towels/burp cloths/cheapo 10-pack of washcloths,
a way to carry the baby (Ergo/Moby/baby sling is AMAZING or a stroller),
bottles if you plan on formula feeding/maybe a pump/bottles if you plan on breastfeeding (that one is a wait-and-see purchase),
gentle soap for washing the baby (store brand is fine)
place for baby to sleep (cosleeping/pack n play/crib/swing)
Material Goods for the parents:
Box of ultra-absorbent pads for Mom after the birth,
cheap/old pillows to prop up Mom after the birth,
Mom's favorite water bottle if she's breastfeeding,
old towels to go under Mom (old towels in general for spit up/accidents),
extra laundry detergent,
nursing bra if she's breastfeeding,
some LOUD white noise maker (vac, hair dryer, dryer, sound machine, YouTube hair dryer looping track, etc).
A copy of Happiest Baby on the Block.
CONSIDER getting a pair of noise-cancelling headphones for when you're "off-duty".
Material Goods in general:
LOTS of food that's either easy to prepare (boxed) or pre-prepared (precooked and frozen or canned), and a box of dry milk as a backup for the boxed food (tuna helpers and the like),
paper plates,
disposable utensils,
disposable cups,
vinegar for cleaning (helps get baby spitup out of clothing/carpet).
Other To Do:
1- Make sure you've got a pediatrician picked out.
2- Know the normal baby sleep schedule. Here's a good site. They DO NOT sleep through the night early on, they have to wake to feed every couple of hours. That's NORMAL and anyone who tells you differently can shove a sock in it.
3- Consider the 6-on/6-off sleep system... Mom sleeps from 6pm-midnight while Dad takes care of newborn. Dad sleeps from midnight-6am. Sleeping parent gets the headphones.
4- Remember that the first 3 months are the hardest. It gets easier. And Reddit Parents are usually always here for you.
Good luck!
Absolutely no issues with flying during pregnancy. Some airlines restrict pregnant women from flying past ~36 weeks, but I think that's because they don't want you going into labor in their airplane cabin at 32,000 feet. After getting thru security, buy a bottle of water for your wife. I was on a 2-hour flight over Christmas and was dying of thirst waiting for the drink cart to come down the aisle. Also, give her the aisle seat if possible so she can walk the aisles periodically to keep the blood moving and access the bathroom quickly if needed.
As for books, I've read a lot of good ones. I've liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and Elisabeth Bing's Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for info on labor and delivery, and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the Wonder Weeks for infant care. Also The Birth Partner is a great book on delivery for both pregnant women and husbands. If you can find a secondhand bookstore near you, check it out--a lot of people sell off these types of books once they're done with them.
Father of five here. Can confirm, OP is not wrong.
That said, a couple of thoughts.
Parent of a 2 yr old getting ready for number 2 here. I'd say (in no particular order)...
... and now I need to go to work. Hope this helps. May add more later if I think of something helpful.
My wife and I looked at Mayo Clinic's Guide to healthy pregnancy. It was neat to look up what was going on on the given week. We also took a trip to Babies R' Us early on to get an appreciation of what we'll need, what we'll want, and how much everything will cost.
For after the baby comes out: The Happiest Baby on the Block and Mayo Clinic's Guide to Your Baby's First Year, also.
My friends recently had a baby who would not stop crying and they followed all the tips in this book and it actually worked for them: https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
They have twins. One was quiet and content and the other screamed bloody murder, and following the steps of mimicking the womb made the upset one quiet and calm.
Oh mama...my first baby was like this. My supply seemed to give just enough to keep her going but not ever fill her up to the point of knocking her out for a long bout of sleep...
Are you swaddling at night? Swaddling, a sound machine, no light/blackout curtains...(all the stuff that's suggested in the Happiest Baby on the Block book, basically) these can help you get a little more sleep but you may just not have a kiddo that sleeps at night yet. If she's falling asleep at the breast and not drinking, try doing a diaper change (get her cold!) before a feed - take off her onesie during the feed if necessary so that she's not tempted to doze. Tickle her cheek, toes, back whatever.
After the feed, if she won't take a pacifier (which isn't recommended until 8 weeks anyway if you're breastfeeding), you can try putting her in a baby wrap and walking her around. Have HUBBY do this of course so you can sleep. My first daughter would cry all night unless at the boob or being walked around in the K'Tan wrap...it was rough and it lasted for almost 15 months before she was ready to sleep through the night.
It's like walking, every babe does it on their own, when they're ready. 5 weeks is still really young (you're not out of the "Fourth Trimester" yet!) Set yourself up to do some safe co-sleeping so you can at least doze while nursing at night.
I'm sure you're doing fine - just keep nursing on demand (it seems like it lasts forever but it won't...) :)
Getting them to put themselves to sleep was definitely important for us. Around 4 months old I started laying down my daughter when she was almost asleep but not quite. I'd still stand over her crib and push her pacifier back into her mouth for about 45 minutes until she was good and out. She'd sleep through fine after that. With my son he didn't even want to be rocked, it was too stimulating. One time I rocked him for an hour and he still wasn't asleep. I laid him down to go to the bathroom and by the time I came back he was asleep. Ever since then (he was about 2 months old) I rock him for a few minutes and then lay him down. At 6 months old the little one should be able to suck thumb or grab onto a pacifier a little easier and not need quite as much help.
That was the recommendation from Happiest Baby on the Block and it worked well for us.
I can't recommend this book enough. Worked WONDERS for us, you should check it out. http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
Pick up Happiest Baby on the Block (but not the sequel, which got weird). There are lots of different techniques to try and at least one should work for you. I had the most success with tight swaddling and the head/knee jiggle.
This book save my sanity and probably my marriage: The Happiest Baby on the Block https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553381466/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_aqOKwmV7zV3AJ
The only other tip I can recommend is have a song. I was lucky enough to stay home more than my wife with my daughter the first 6 months and every day I would rock her to sleep to Uptown Funk on low to keep a rhythm. Every time, every day, multiple times a day and she came to associate that song with love, safety and calm. It got us through her first few rounds of shots (I’d play it on my phone and dance with her after to calm down) and an 8 hour road trip when she was 4 months old. Obviously you have to find a song that doesn’t drive you nuts, but to this day, at 4 years old it’s a special song for us.
This book was my saviour during those days, hope it helps you too
https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
I highly recommend The Happiest Baby On The Block. It will be invaluable during the first three months or so, which are some of the toughest.
Also, echoing what others have said, a lot of things will work themselves out. It's not rocket science, and it's pretty easy to learn as you go. It's the hours that are hell. :-)
HOWEVER, that being said, don't let stereotypes, movies, and other parents scare you. They will sleep through the night eventually, and you will get to the point where you can resume normal life activities such as going out to eat. It might not be as relaxed as it once was, but it will still be great.
As far as newborn, we had some good success with the baby white noise albums. This is just a bare example but it comes with a story I will leave for later. Specifically we bought 1 off of iTunes, it was about an hour and a half and included a heartbeat-type noise on top of the general shwooshing noise.
Later when she grew up a bit (6 months old, 1 year old, whatever) we filled up a 2 gig jump drive with all the smooth, mellow, folksy, hipster music I have in my library (bands like The Capsules, Seabear, Sufjan Stevens, Iron & Wine, etc etc)
Why that music? Cause I AM HER FATHER AND SHE WILL LISTEN TO WHAT I TELL HER TO. Nah, but seriously, I like this type of stuff, I picked the softer of it to give to her while sleeping. Music is important to me, I want it to be important to her. At first it was transitioning her from the white noise album to something that meant something to me. Now she cant' sleep without music playing. I'm cool with that for now.
OK, so on to the story about the loud noises and heartbeat: Before The Happiest Baby On The Block became a franchise with DVD sets and followers and a church named after them... (Did that happen yet? It looks like it will) The Happiest Baby On The Block was a book. We bought it and read it and learned a lot of what seems afterwards as obvious information, but while reading, it was unknown.
the point to THIS story is that the 1st 3 months of having a baby you need to replicate what they were used to in the womb. It's loud in the womb, there is all this blood running through vessels and food digesting (I have no idea what the sounds are in a womb) and there is the ever-present heartbeat, cause that guy lives right next door. Anyway, book explains it's loud in there and replicating the noise will actually help calm a newborn, not disturb him.
Read The Happiest Baby on the Block for the newborn phase. I haven't had a chance to put it into practice yet (got another 4 months to go!) but I have friends who swear by it. Plus, it seems to make crap ton of sense, science-wise.
If you can figure out why exactly your baby is crying, that can be a big help. My girlfriend and I could not for the life of us figure out what was making our daughter so upset. At first we thought nighttime was just her "fussy time", which it is for a lot of newborns. Then we read some more and realized that she had a lot of the symptoms of reflux. We adjusted some of our habits (rubbing her back instead of patting to burp her, keeping her upright during and after nursing, feeding her more slowly) and the difference was night-and-day.
For anyone with a baby that has a difficult time falling or staying asleep, I would highly recommend picking up Tracy Hogg's The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. She goes over a lot of the bad habits parents pick up when trying to calm their newborns, and gives ideas on how to fix them.
We've also found Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block to be very helpful. The "5 S's" method (swaddling, side/stomach positioning in the parents' arms, shushing, swinging, and sucking) worked well for our daughter.
Basically what all of the advice in the books boils down to is to read your baby's cues and fix the root of the problem, rather than attempt to patch it with short-term fixes. Sometimes you might think that you're helping, when really you're just developing bad parenting habits and reinforcing certain behaviors in your child. I was really surprised when reading those books how many bad habits we had picked up in just a few short weeks.
The Happiest Baby on the Block. It worked wonders for us as well. 5 S's all the way!
this book made me excited to have a fussy baby! "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp, MD
I have used this http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466 on my kids and even showed it off to a few of my family members kids. I am not at all associated with this guy at all but holy shit does this work. The first time I did what they said my wife thought that I got rid of our first born cause he was a cranky kid(still is but that is besides the point :) ) However, they really do stop crying in a few minutes as long as you do it right. This dvd saved my sanity until they got old enough to talk back. If you want, PM me and I can give you any tips or pointers for it.
I found this series of ["Show Me How"] (http://www.amazon.com/Show-Dad-How-Parenting-Magazine/dp/1616281111/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526055&sr=8-1&keywords=show+dad+how)
books to be humorous and quite helpful, there's [one for mom] (http://www.amazon.com/Show-Mom-How-Parenting-Magazine/dp/161628112X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526055&sr=8-3&keywords=show+dad+how) too.
Working at a book store I have had several new parents looking for the [Happiest Baby Books] (http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526423&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block) (there's one for toddler's too). The American Pediatric Association also has a [book] (http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Baby-Young-Child/dp/0553393820/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421526506&sr=8-1&keywords=caring+for+your+baby+and+young+child+birth+to+age+5) that covers Pre-birth to 5 years. I read a chapter each month to keep me up to speed on the miles stones ahead, my son is 3 now and it was incredibly helpful.
Good luck!
The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was a gift from a friend and my absolute favorite when I was pregnant. I've gifted it to several friends since. "What to Expect" I found surprisingly off-putting, much more "What to Expect if You Are Married and Upper-Middle Class".
For later, I loved Simplicity Parenting, Baby-Led Weaning, and The Happiest Baby on the Block. Those last three I got from our local library.
This book was recommended to me by my cousin shortly after my son arrived. While I found it really hard to read some times (the author talks in circles, as I recall) the four things to do to calm a baby are:
Now, these four things will depend on your kid. At first, my son didn't care about pacifiers much, but swaddling worked great up until 30-4 months old. Learning the right combination of each for your shild will take a little practice and patience.
He didn't care for actual swings, but if you held him and rocked him back and forth gently, that was just fine.
Shushing can really help when they're upset - just hold them close and gently "shushhhhh" into their ear.
Our son also spit up a fair amount; we ended up using Dr. Brown's bottles to reduce it (a lot of bottles draw air back inside the bottle thru the nipple and this basically aerates the milk/formula and can dramatically increase the amount of air in the baby's tummy and increases the amount of burping you have to do.
Welcome to the club!
One of my wife's friends wrote this one...not a bad book, I suppose. Lots of good information about pregnancy, things that are good to know from the dad's perspective.
The one your wife is going to read, and you should also read, is the classic What to Expect book. That's sort of the "pregnancy bible", lots of really good information in there, most women read it.
Another one that I really got a lot out of is If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Be OK. That's written by an ER doctor who talks about how to tell the normal illnesses and maladies that aren't worrisome from the ones that you actually do need to be concerned about. It's saved my wife and I from a handful of ER/Doctor's Office visits.
The final one is the one I recommend over anything else. If you buy no other books/dvds, buy this one. It might save your life, sanity, and/or marriage:
The Happiest Baby On The Block
I'd recommend both the book and the DVD, but if you only get one, get the DVD. Hell, many libraries carry it.
Any and every parent I know who has watched it basically thanks Harvey Karp for making the first 3 months entirely bearable. It teaches you how to soothe a screaming infant, quickly and calmly...it makes for a happier child, and happier parents. Buy it, or rent it, or whatever...just make damned sure you see it before d-day.
Outside of that, a quality swing that plugs in (not one that runs on batteries...you will spend the difference in cost between the two on batteries) can be great. Our little girl, along with a few of our friends kids, all loved the Ocean Wonders one by Fisher Price...although for whatever reason, it seems to be ridiculously expensive on Amazon. I believe we paid 150 or 200 for it brand new. Worth every penny...cheap swings are just that: cheap. They aren't comfortable, they aren't well made, and they don't work for particularly picky infants (e.g. my daughter). I have a few friends who had more laid-back kids who have said that the cheaper swings work, so if money is tight that's something you might wait on until you meet the child:)
For most baby stuff, you get what you pay for. The stuff that works is going to be expensive because it works. I tell most of my friends that my experience is that you buy the best rated thing you can afford (just because it's expensive doesn't necessarily mean it's good, always find product reviews!).
Anyhow, through the pregnancy, the best thing you can do is just be interested and involved. Try to remember that your wife/partner might seem to lose her mind a few times, and it's mostly hormones...so let the crazy slide a little bit more than usual.
Other than that, just square yourself with the idea that your old life is done, and you now have a new one. Everything changes with kids, and the more OK you are with that, the better you will be as a dad. It's the best change you could ask for, and most dads will say that they wouldn't go back to the life of video games and nightly partying for anything in the world now that they are dads. It's worth giving all of that up a million times over. But don't fight it. Don't tell your wife that she can handle being home with her one-month old alone because you're stressed and need some time with your boys. Don't say that you can't get up in the middle of the night because you have an early tee time. Don't tell her that you shouldn't have to help clean up the kitchen because you worked all day.
That kind of stuff comes naturally to most guys, and I certainly hope it does for you. You find that when you just let the change envelop you, instead of trying to shoehorn your old lifestyle into your new life, things are easier and much more fun. The change is good, and it is inevitable. Fighting it just makes you, your wife, and your child miserable.
Get the following:
When the pediatrician comes to check in on the baby while at the hospital, ask TONS of questions. They don't mind and it will make you feel better. That's what you're paying them for!!
Finally, relax and enjoy. They are tougher than they look.
Is the baby too old for the Harvey Karp, Baby on the Block method?
I'm a new dad and this book is working wonders.
so cute! but hang in there, have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? it was a life saver for me during those early months.
I liked this book:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Book-Everything-About/dp/1491518235
Edit: Also http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0CS7A9MYGEXRD9AJ9SFT
Don't get too caught up in Sears books though. I don't have nearly as much money as they do, so I will not be able to do all the things they suggest. I still know a lot more now than I did before.
Congratulations!!!!! I read Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra. It's a good book on pregnancy and offers some good tips on relaxation, nutrition, etc. It's kind of a holistic, eastern meets western philosophy book. I really enjoyed this because it treats your pregnancy as a beautiful journey.
For babies, I have read [Secrets of the Baby Whisperer] (http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-Whisperer-Connect-Communicate/dp/0345479092/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374606157&sr=1-2&keywords=baby+whisperer) and Happiest Baby on the Block. Both came highly recommended by other moms.
A couple of books were really helpful for my wife and I. Namely: The Wonder Weeks and The Happiest Baby on the Block. They help get into your kid's head and understand how he's growing, learning, changing. Also really helpful for encouraging and enriching his life. I still refer to the first one now and then, and Felix is a full-blown toddler.
But really? No one knows what they're doing when it comes to parenting. Books and classes and things can help, but your best teacher on how to be a dad is going to be your kid. Every child is different, and when yours arrives you will learn everything about being a parent from him or her.
Oh, and PS? You will worry about every hiccup and every cough and when your child is finally asleep you will be checking every five minutes to make sure they are still breathing. It's all part of parenthood!
It actually could be very useful for people who like white noise and for helping newborn babies sleep. Though I don't have one yet (until October), I read in The Happiest Baby on the Block that vacuum sounds can help calm fussy babies because it serves as stand-in for the type of noise they are used to hearing while in the womb.
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I'd check out The Happiest Baby on the Block then. I read it before my wife did and for a while she thought I was a wizard when it came to putting our first down to sleep. It's not like other books that suggest some new fad for parenting styles, it just has some ideas for how to comfort a baby in the first 3 months that might not have occurred to you.
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying/dp/B0006J021C/ref=pd_sim_b_1
I highly, highly recommend the books Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp. That man is the goddam baby whisperer and I partially credit him for helping us have a baby who was always really happy, content and secure.
Another thing is that I think your relationship with your wife is THE most important aspect of you two parenting together. Make sure you put you guys first (reasonably of course) and work as a fluid unit.
My daughter is only about a week older than your kiddo so I have no idea what I'm doing, but this sounds pretty normal to me. When my little girl is fussy, a change in position usually helps a lot. She likes to be held up in burping position (like this) and patted on the back, or have her legs bicycled.
If nothing else works we go for the 5 Ss, have you seen/read anything from the Happiest Baby on the Block? If we put her in a good, tight swaddle and then bounce/jiggle her she calms right down, even if she fights the swaddle initially.
I cannot recommend this enough. I used it when my nephew, interesting family situation, was a newborn and have bought it for two friends. They were skeptical at first but soon began recommending it to all new parents they knew as well.
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-Newborn/dp/0553381466
Take a look at "Happiest Baby on the Block" http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
Basically you need to do 5 things to calm the baby. Swaddle, Hold baby on the side, White Noise, Jiggle, and Pacifier. It sounds too easy, but it works. There is a DVD that comes with a book that goes through the techniques and it has saved my sanity!
We also bought a motorized swing and a white noise machine that works great at keeping our baby asleep.
Control-Fed to see if anyone had mentioned this and they haven't-- "The Happiest Baby On The Block," by Dr. Harvey Karp. I can't imagine what the first six months would have been like for us without it. I still shhhhhh my baby to sooth her at almost 15 months, and it still works. Find a radio station with the flattest static you can, and play it for her, all night long. It'll sooth her and block out background noises that may disturb her. To be honest, the rest of the book wouldn't be very helpful for you now since it's meant for newborns, but the white noise may still work.
If you're this stressed out, your baby can probably sense it. I'm certainly not trying to guilt you more; it's just a really nasty vicious circle. I'm not nearly as at the end of my rope as you sound, but I also work, so I get a 10 hour break every day from my kid, which probably goes a long way. Like you, our families are not close, and we don't really have any friends in the area; in my case, my husband works a LOT so it's often just me and the baby.
Everyone keeps telling me to join a meet up group of moms. I haven't found one yet that meets on weekends, but you seem to be a stay at home mom and it might be easier for you. Also, if you can afford it, something like Gymboree where you can make mom friends and get a change of setting.
Good luck, and hang in there.
Edit: Re: bottles: Some babies don't like bottles at all, they will drink from spoons, or just go straight to cups. Try a straw sippy cup, like this one-- my kiddo's been on them since about 10 months.
Your feelings are completely normal. Infant stage is hard, even without a colicky baby! Have you read Happiest baby on the block? It helped us so much.
This was the best book my wife and I found: Happiest Baby on the Block
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1410421839&sr=8-1&keywords=happiest+baby+on+the+block
Also, SwaddleMe pretty much saved our lives:
http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-SwaddleMe-Adjustable-3-Pack/dp/B003JHYDIQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1410421888&sr=8-2&keywords=swaddle+me
As said in this thread, it gets better. We just got through two months and it feels like a hundred years ago we were at 3 weeks.
I've been reading The Happiest Baby on the Block and it's made me feel so much more confident about dealing with a fussy/colic-y baby. The basic premise is that babies are actually supposed to stay in the womb for another few months, but need to be birthed early because of their big heads. So they're unprepared to deal with the world, and that makes some of them extra fussy. He goes over a bunch of techniques for recreating the womb experience to calm the baby down- swaddling, shushing, etc.