(Part 2) Best books about personality disorders according to redditors

The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales is a fantastic series of real cases and a layman's explanation about what happened with people who had unusual mental situations. I really, really, really recommend it.

For example, people who have their perception of their body skewed, causing what is known as alien limb, where the limb you see attached to you does not seem to be your own, and sometimes tends to do things on its own because the feedback loop is broken. Those people tend to either amputate the limb or fall into extreme depression and end up taking their own life.

Edit: $11 bucks off amazon with prime for a paperback version. Linked to amazon smile version.

Edit 2: Another reccomendation by /u/pulgasvestidas link to post and Smile link to book

Avoidance of responsibility is a primary characteristic of psychopathy. He ticks off all the other checkmarks, too. Only libel laws are protecting his ass from being called a psychopath openly. Educate yourselves about psychopaths -- I recommend these books I have read to understand my own lifelong contact with psychopaths, starting with my mother:
Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us
Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work
Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight
The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry
The Inner World of the Psychopath: A definitive primer on the psychopathic personality

He is commonly called a narcissist, but here's a handy rule of thumb. Not all narcissists are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are narcissistic. It's easy to understand why -- they don't see humans as humans, only objects to be manipulated for fun and profit. They, themselves, are the only conscious being, so nothing else matters. Their brains aren't wired to understand we have minds and memories, which is why they lie constantly to achieve their immediate needs. Strangely, the inability to experience emotions (and that includes fear, which is why Trump seems to never give a fuck about consequences) comes with no sense of past or future. There is only the "now."

1% of the population are psychopaths. You know more than one. Some say it's an evolutionary adaptation that exploits humans with emotions and morals, and that they are "intraspecies predators." There are professions that rely on psychopathic behavior, and you can draw your own opinions on them:
The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success

It is also commonly said that psychopaths are experts are reading people. This is false (because, to them, there is nothing to read). They are simply experts, from lifelong experience and practice, at putting people into situations with predictable reactions. For example, Trump likes to insult people because he knows it distracts them and takes them off their game as they try to defend themselves. Psychopaths like to do their manipulating in the background and behind peoples' backs (and in Trump's case, behind NDAs and hush money), thus Trump's biggest problem -- he's the world's most watched person and nothing goes unnoticed, so his previous tactics aren't working. He is thrashing more and more as he gets more desperate to deceive. He is not losing his mind or getting senile. He's a psychopath who can't understand why his old tricks are no longer working.

His apparent "humanness" is a practiced façade, as is true for all psychopaths. They learn, starting in childhood, how to fit in. Some learn how better than others. Trump is good enough at it to fool a large number of voters.
BTW, there's nothing saying a psychopath can't also be dumb as a brick or illiterate.

Nope, I'm definitely SPD (diagnosed). There are many ways to achieve psychological safety/distance from others. This describes the route I took:

https://i.imgur.com/oQpuaiu.jpg

Schizoids are people and people are laden with complexity.

source: Disorders of the Self

I'd suggest you read some Kernberg on tranference focused psychotherapy. Also, the book Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (Kernberg contributed to it) have some really interesting things on countertransference use in this context.

Edit: this book: Psychodynamic Therapy for Personality Pathology: Treating Self and Interpersonal Functioning https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1585624594/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_SaGNDbPJRRB4T

I read an interesting book

There's a 2x2 grid of win/lose for each of you.

He'll only tolerate win/win and win/you lose.

As soon as he can perceive you're slipping he'll head back for win/you lose.

He doesn't actually give a shit about what minor changes you want him to make (he doesn't want to make them for himself, he doesn't want to make them because you've asked and it will make you happy, like a normal person).

"Putting in effort" and fulfilling any of your wants/needs sounds awful to narcs, that's a Lose/Win for you!

But he wants to win (control of you) and it just looks like you're winning. His natural state is Do Nothing, and that Makes You Lose.

Good luck trying to manipulate a narc though! Being awful is as easy as breathing for them. All you'll get from 'playing' is mind-fucked.

To be fair, a lot of traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder are shared with other personality disorders, especially Borderline. The different between an NPD person and a BPD person is that the BPD person actually has good intentions, they just are not capable of understanding or controlling their emotions, so they end up lashing out in ways that are abusive and appear narcissistic.

IMO, BPD sufferers are "worthy" of some extra work on the part of their family to try to understand the disorder and repair the relationship. Of course, this takes acknowledgment on the BPD person's side that their behavior is wrong and is the cause of the relationship problems and willingness to work on themselves and respect others' boundaries.

I always feel the need to point this out when people direct someone to /r/raisedbynarcissists, because my mom has BPD and that sub helped me realize that there was something really wrong with her and our relationship, but I figured out that she was not narcissistic and I would have never been able to work through my issues with her if I had kept up with the line of though that she was (although working through everything did involve about a year of very limited contact with her).

Understanding the Borderline Mother is a great book on the topic and there is a blog post that breaks down the basic ideas from that book that might help you get an idea of whether your MIL is N or B.

An excellent read about NPD in general and the role it played in the election.


A Clear and Present Danger: Narcissism in the Era of Donald Trump https://www.amazon.com/dp/1630513954/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_XAVuybME1FYYG

You belong on r/WeAreODD instead of here.

When you're a minor, and you have ASPD like traits, it's called Conduct Disorder (CD), or Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Only 25% of kids your age with CD/ODD traits grow up to have ASPD.

It's much more likely you'll grow out of it than that you'll grow up to be a sociopath.

I'm a female too. When I was your age, I spent 2 years in therapy, and it's probably saved my life. Get professional help any way you can. They will not judge you, they'll help. And your records as a minor are sealed.

You have 10 years before your brain is fully done growing. You CAN learn to control this to some degrees. You will be better off if you do. At your age, I had issues much greater than what you're describing and I lead a relatively normal life atm.

If you can't get your mom to allow you profession help start here and do the whole book. After you finish it, find other CBT and DBT books to do, it doesn't matter if they're fully applicable.

Anything geared towards b-cluster will help. But what you really need is therapy.

https://estudyforclass.com/product/cognitive-behavioral-treatment-of-borderline-personality-disorder-diagnosis-and-treatment-of-mental-disorders-1st-edition-ebook-pdf-version/?gclid=CjwKCAjw-ITqBRB7EiwAZ1c5U0a72c3OAkd9DxOyEE-vPATUrJ7Mi_zO5UDlvTe7Fv1Ka52pZ1DcchoCzEEQAvD_BwE

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https://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Psychiatric-Management-Borderline-Personality/dp/1585624608

Another great book along these lines (probably somewhat more technical, but still quite accessible) is From Axons to Identity: Neurological Explorations of the Nature of the Self by Todd Feinberg.

The section about right-brain trauma is fascinating, it covers alien limb and other weird phenomena like thinking your dead husband's arm is attached to your body, and includes plenty of crazed dialogue from clinical records!! Highly recommended as well.

Here you go Bad Men Do what Good Men Dream: A Forensic Psychiatrist Illuminates the Darker Side of Human Behavior by Robert I. Simon https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Men-what-Good-Dream/dp/158562294X

Sure thing! If you like reading up on stuff, I'd recommend this book, which was recommended to me by a psychiatrist who specializes in psychotherapy.

I was exactly like you 2 months ago - i know how you feel I also "just snapped" a couple times and i look back at the 100+ text messages and the 300 times in a row i tried to call him and was completely ignored - It just drives you to keep going and going like you think they are actually going to give in and talk to you but they don't - it is a pain like I have never felt before - especially when I had done nothing to deserve it - so please please don't subject yourself to doing it - read the books - also read this https://www.amazon.com/Start-Here-Understanding-Navigating-Narcissistic-ebook/dp/B076NSP79F/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1522789510&sr=8-3&keywords=dana+morningstar - this woman Dana Morningstar has a you tube page thrive after abuse - it has a ton of really good videos especially the 50 red flags series and she also does a live stream on wednesdays that you can ask her questions - very informative - this is what has helped me - if you ever need anyone to listen - I will - you are not crazy - he just made you think you were - I will validate your reality - you are not just a toy he got sick of playing with!!

https://www.amazon.com/Mille-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Mental/dp/1943880107

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my mom got me this book. I like it quite a lot, especially if I open up to someone and I don't really know how to explain it, I give them this book. it also makes me happy to read it when im sad.

I found the new(ish) APA book Understanding and Treating Pathological Narcissism quite insightful, with a very thorough, broad treatment of the material, and not too dense.

I was going to add that the Sociopath/Psychopath/Narcissist (and moreso at the higher spectrums,) won't typically enter into voluntary treatment for their personality issue (its not an issue for them,) but do get seen often for depression, anxiety, etc., or couples work.

By that same token, seeking a forum is interesting. It depends why the s/p/n actually does when they get there... if its to be in a community of like-minded people that's to be expected. If they are going with the intention of figuring out if they are s/p/n, or any kind of search for advice to change, that's a decent sign they aren't.

I got an old copy on Amazon for shipping plus a few cents. https://www.amazon.com/Severe-Personality-Disorders-Psychotherapeutic-Strategies/dp/0300053495

You described the behaviors and defenses arising from NPD pretty well, but where do these behaviors and defenses come from? Or in other words, why do Narcissists have delusions, a lack of moral shame, and pursue externalized success objects? What drives the behavior?

You responded to my question twice by telling me to avoid pop diagnosis. You criticize my criteria as pop-psychology - an appeal to authority - but offer no source for your own criteria for NPD, even after I asked for it. Is "Neurosis and Human Growth" by Karen Horney pop psychology? Is Apfelbaum's essay "Ego Analysis Vs. Self Psychology" pop psychology? What about "Disorders of the Self"? I don't think it's necessary focus on credential waiving in order to discuss NPD, but if you need it in order to take me seriously, then here you go. The writers above all describe NPD and other personality disorders as behaviors driven by shame. Usually from shame arising because of a lack of a secure attachment in childhood.

My mother is BPD too. Most BPD women struggle with abandonment as major fear/focus in their lives, so naturally they will cling to their children when it comes time for them to gain independence. When I first began to separate myself from the tangled web of bullshit (read: my parent's house) that my BPD mother had spun, I wasn't prepared for the kind of tactics that she'd use to try and keep me "in my place", which naturally meant by her side. I tolerated bullying and coercing and emotional warfare until she finally realized that this time it wouldn't work.

If you have any interest, this is a great book about BPD mothers and how their mental illness can affect their children. They talk a lot about the good child/bad child dichotomy that BPD mothers like to set up. It also gives some great guidance on how to deal with the BPD mother as an adult, and how to ensure she doesn't overstep her boundaries into your life.

If you ever want to talk to a fellow BP2-er with a BPD mom, send me a PM.

OK, it looks like we're getting someplace and quite honestly, when we started this... I didn't have high hopes.

I think I can break down our areas of disagreement into several different points.

First, let's tackle Antifa and what they actually do. This is a ridiculous position and essentially it's a parroting of what right wingers used to do. You keep changing the goalposts. First its "this doesn't happen, bring me an example" then that happens so you switch to "that's one example, bring me many" so then that happens and you switch to "bring me enough examples to show that it happens 51 percent of the time" etc.

Google Antifa and Trump rallies for a history of Antifa showing up and attacking people at Trump rallies. Not KKK or Richard Spencer events, Trump rallies. The Washington post... a notoriously left leaning rag, even reported on it.

There is a history of violence from the left [and a narrative blaming Trump from the press] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVvb5_rMGyY) but it's clear who the aggressors were

Now it's important to note this is before the Black Bloc and Antifa stuff was in full swing. So while leftist terrorists organized against Trump supporters, eventually patriot prayer joins the fray in 2016, this is after Antifa began attacking Trump supporters, not before. Previously Antifa confronts Trump supporters without any protective groups.

They called Milo a white supremacist. Milo... a gay guy who expresses concern about Islam because of homosexuality being outlawed in the ME. Yes he uses examples of extremists throwing gays off of roofs, but he's not wrong. The treatment of homosexuals in Muslim countries isn't a radical thing, it's an every day Muslim thing. Attitudes on wife beating are not held by "just a handful of extremists", and if you don't believe me, listen to them

So it seems to me that you've been fed a series of lies about Islam, and about Antifa. If you defend Islam, then you're a bad guy, period. If you defend some perverted peaceful, progressive, gay accepting, women's rights having version of Islam... OK, but that's really unpopular. Read the Pew poll on Islam world wide, and if you're not familiar, this is what governments and lawyers and political scientists use for data. Pew is the gold standard in polling research.

So, in short, Antifa bad... even though it may have attracted people with good intentions, you're really short on actual white supremacists so their targets have largely been just Trump supporters. Now that there are alt right hate groups out there, and I freely admit there are... I don't give a shit about clashes between those two groups. I think on that we can agree.

But this narrative that they're "emboldened by Trump" is obvious bullshit. They were a reaction to left wing violence. White supremacists were attracted to these groups by the prospect of fighting against socialists. This is a tactic to start a war, by dragging in already polarized and militarized groups.

I'm sorry you can't see the connection between previous leftist groups in the US and the ones here now. I've provided the information, at some point you'll accept that information and we can move on. If you want to tell yourself that these groups disappeared into thin air and were forged again from nothing, go ahead. But it isn't true. If you don't believe me, look at Antifa world wide and explain to me why there are so many Antifa cells in countries without a Trump. Where did they come from? How are they so well organized for such a decentralized movement? The answer has already been provided. Because these socialist groups change names, but not missions.

On to law. I think I can see some common ground in that we both agree that drug laws are stupid. Vice laws, entirely in my view, are stupid. If I'm not hurting anyone, you don't have a right to regulate it.

But a system of law and law enforcement can't be selective about how laws are enforced any more than we already have done so. Civil suits and criminal law are already separated in terms of enforcement. If you violate copywrite law, the swat team doesn't knock in your door. Well, not initially. But at some point in order to enforce laws, you must use force.

There is a process to determine what laws we will use force to enforce and which ones we will just whine about and maybe garnish your paycheck over. If you don't like that system, welcome to the much larger group of people who don't like that system. I'd gladly engage in a planning session to change that system and am all kinds of open to suggestions.

That said, your "laws are subjective" argument is ridiculous. Notice I say that the argument is ridiculous. Which brings me to my next subject.

I didn't say you were a psychopath, that's a question only you can answer... or you know.. a trained professional. But there are tonnes of books on the subject. here's one it's only $34 and is I think it's still covered under text subsidies at some colleges. Dunno, I'm old so.

What I said was that the things you were saying sounded psychotic. That you should be able to kill police officers because you don't agree with drug laws. That police officers should be subject to violence because arresting dangerous criminals and non dangerous ones who resist sometimes requires violence. That's psychotic. Saying that laws shouldn't apply to you if you don't agree with them is psychotic. Just saying.

I never said YOU were. Just some of your statements.

As to western imperialism, again you paint this picture of these countries being these peaceful, prosperous countries prior to US and ONLY US involvement in them. Or UK and ONLY UK involvement in them. This isn't truth. Most of these countries were shit holes run by despots and the concept that the citizens there were "doing just fine" before western influence is ridiculous. In most cases there was desperate poverty, no electricity, poor sanitation and no access to communication or medicine prior to western influence.

I'm not saying these places are a paradise now, I'm saying you're blaming it all on the western imperialists is just a completely ignorant take on history and current events.

The war in Iraq was started when a country invaded another country. We didn't just ship a bunch of Oil to the US so we could have 50 cent gas again. Do you see 50 cent gas? I don't see 50 cent gas. After Iraq 1, we were in a defacto shooting war with them for like 11 years. They starved their people, hoarded medical supplies and then decried that the sanctions were stifling them. A cry that many leftists believed despite the fact that they were not true.

So, I don't know what to tell you, man. But this anti western imperialism shtick is literally arguing in favor of despots, murderers and rapists being in charge. Never has the common man been so empowered than in the western world.

2nd half:

Peter Giovacchini (1993) – Schizophrenia and Primitive Mental States

http://www.amazon.com/Schizophrenia-Primitive-Ment-Peter-Giovacchini/dp/0765700271/

David Garfield (1994) – Unbearable Affect: A Guide to the Psychotherapy of Psychosis

http://www.amazon.com/Unbearable-Affect-Guide-Psychotherapy-Psychosis/dp/1855755475/

John Steiner (1994) – Psychic Retreats: Pathological Organizations in Psychotic, Neurotic, and Borderline Patients

http://www.amazon.com/Psychic-Retreats-Pathological-Organizations-Psychoanalysis/dp/0415099242/

Murray Jackson and Paul Williams (1994) – Unimagineable Storms: A Search for Meaning in Psychosis

http://www.amazon.com/Unimaginable-Storms-Search-Meaning-Psychosis/dp/1855750759/

Lawrence Hedges (1994) – Working the Organizing Experience: Transforming Psychotic, Schizoid, and Autistic States

http://www.amazon.com/Working-Organizing-Experience-Transforming-Psychotic/dp/1568212550

Vamik Volkan (1995) – The Infantile Psychotic Self: Understanding and Treating Schizophrenics and Other Difficult Patients –

http://www.amazon.com/Infantile-Psychotic-Self-Fates-Schizophrenics/dp/1568213794/

Hyman Spotnitz – Psychotherapy of Preoedipal Conditions: Schizophrenia and Severe Character Disorders (1995) –

http://www.amazon.com/Psychotherapy-Preoedipal-Conditions-Schizophrenia-Character/dp/1568216335/

Clancy McKenzie (1996) – Delayed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders from Infancy: The Two Trauma Mechanism

http://www.amazon.com/Delayed-Posttraumatic-Stress-Disorders-Infancy/dp/9057025019

Peter Giovacchini (1997) - Schizophrenia and Primitive Mental States

http://www.amazon.com/Schizophrenia-Primitive-Ment-Peter-Giovacchini/dp/0765700271

Brian Martinedale, Ed. (2000) – Psychosis: Psychological Approaches and their Effectiveness.

http://www.amazon.com/Psychosis-Psychological-Approaches-Their-Effectiveness/dp/1901242498

Murray Jackson (2001) – Weathering the Storms: Psychotherapy for Psychosis

http://www.amazon.com/Weathering-Storms-Psychotherapy-Murray-Jackson-ebook/dp/B005WH0PZQ/

Paul Williams (2001) – A Language for Psychosis: Psychoanalysis of Psychotic States

http://www.amazon.com/Language-Psychosis-Psychoanalysis-Psychotic-States/dp/1861561660/

Colin Ross (2004) – Schizophrenia: Innovations in Diagnosis and Treatment

http://www.amazon.com/Schizophrenia-Innovations-Diagnosis-Colin-Ross-ebook/dp/B00IOPWAF6/

Hyman Spotnitz – Modern Psychoanalysis of the Schizophrenic Patient: Theory of the Technique (2004) –

http://www.amazon.com/Modern-Psychoanalysis-Schizophrenic-Patient-Technique/dp/0970392362/

Johannessen, Jan Olav (2006) – Evolving Psychosis: Different Stages, Different Treatments

http://www.amazon.com/Evolving-Psychosis-Treatments-International-Psychological/dp/1583917233

Franco De Masi (2009) – Vulnerability to Psychosis: A Psychoanalytic Study of the Nature and Theapy of Psychotic States

http://www.amazon.com/Vulnerability-Psychosis-Psychoanalytic-Therapy-Psychotic/dp/1855755041/

Ira Steinman (2009) – Treating the Untreatable: Healing in the Realms of Madness

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Untreatable-Healing-Realms-Madness-ebook/dp/B00582MGQQ/

Yrjo Alanen (2009) – Psychotherapeutic Approaches to Schizophrenic Psychoses: Past, Present and Future

http://www.amazon.com/Psychotherapeutic-Approaches-Schizophrenic-Psychoses-International/dp/0415440130/

Paul Williams (2010) – Invasive Objects: Minds Under Siege

http://www.amazon.com/Invasive-Objects-Minds-Relational-Perspectives/dp/0415995477/

Daniel Dorman (2011) – Dante's Cure: A Journey Out of Madness

http://www.amazon.com/DANTES-CURE-Journey-Out-Madness-ebook/dp/B005UFUW30/

John Steiner (2011) – Seeing and Being Seen: Emerging from a Psychic Retreat

http://www.amazon.com/Seeing-Being-Seen-Emerging-Psychoanalysis/dp/0415575060/

Evelyn Liegner (2011) – The Hates That Cures: The Psychological Reversibility of Schizophrenia

http://www.amazon.com/Hate-That-Cures-Psychological-Reversibility/dp/1936411067/

Paris Williams (2012) – Rethinking Madness: Towards a Paradigm Shift in Our Understanding and Treatment of Psychosis.

http://www.amazon.com/Rethinking-Madness-Understanding-Treatment-Psychosis/dp/0984986707/

Pamela Fuller – Surviving, Existing, or Living: Phase Specific Psychotherapy of Severe Psychosis (2013) –

http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Existing-Living-Phase-specific-International/dp/0415516625/

John Read, Ed. (2013) – Models of Madness: Psychological, Social, and Biological Approaches to Schizophrenia

http://www.amazon.com/Models-Madness-Psychological-Schizophrenia-International/dp/1583919066

Ty Colbert (2015) – Healing Runaway Minds: How to Understand and Recover from Major Mental Disorders with Special Emphasis on “Schizophrenia”

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Runaway-Minds-Understand-Schizophrenia/dp/0989160734/

David Garfield and Ira Steinman (2015) – Self Psychology and Psychosis: The Development of the Self During Intensive Psychotherapy of Schizophrenia and Other Psychoses

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Psychology-Psychosis-Psychotherapy-Schizophrenia/dp/1782202285/

Christopher Bollas (2015) – When the Sun Bursts: The Enigma of Schizophrenia

http://www.amazon.com/When-Sun-Bursts-Enigma-Schizophrenia/dp/0300214731/

Andrew Lotterman (2015) – Psychotherapy for People Diagnosed with Schizophrenia: Specific Techniques

http://www.amazon.com/Psychotherapy-People-Diagnosed-Schizophrenia-International-ebook/dp/B015CLFL0U/

Here's what helped me:

The Existentialists Survival Guide

Positive Disintegration

They're not 'cure all solutions,' but after dealing with this for about 7 years, it gave me a better understanding and perspective on my life. I feel like this happens to a lot of people who are just beginning to consciously construct their own identity after either being forcefully made to (e.g., divorce, job loss) or after years of general stagnation. Read Positive Disintegration for more in this, it was eye-opening for me - I even went back to school at 35 to pursue my degree in psychology.

Finding a social circle with people who understand and/or feel the same way (like here) has also helped. Try a whole bunch of different things (e.g., painting, woodworking, studying biology) and see if anything peaks your interest, if not, move on to something different. When we get knocked off a track, or we realize the track we've been on all of lives is the wrong one, it can be scary because we feel like we're don't know who we are now. Instead try to look at it like a blank canvas and we're free to be the person that we want to be according to our beliefs and values. Good vibes my friend.

Sorry about the delay, i would recommend either one of these assuming you have some basic knowledge. have fun!

https://www.amazon.com/Personality-Disorders-Modern-Theodore-Millon/dp/0471237345
https://www.amazon.com/Severe-Personality-Disorders-Psychotherapeutic-Strategies/dp/0300053495

I read a book by a forensic psychiatrist called Bad Men Do What Good Men Dream that discusses the "terrible triad" of childhood behaviors that are common to many serial killers and other psychopaths: setting fires, animal abuse, and bed-wetting.