(Part 2) Best chemical drain openers according to redditors

Rooto isn't sulfuric acid, it's lye (sodium hydroxide).


Putting baking soda or other alkaline solutions on your clothes and in your closet isn't going to help, as NaOH is already extremely basic. Your best bet to neutralize the residue is a weak acid like white vinegar (acetic acid) or a citric acid-based detergent/cleaner (most coffee pot cleaning solutions are either citric acid or silicic acid), after which you should wash out the acid and salt with normal soap & water.


You should avoid touching any of the residue before you neutralize it because NaOH is extremely hygroscopic (it will absorb moisture from the atmosphere) and an aqueous NaOH solution can give you severe chemical burns. I'd recommend wearing heavy kitchen gloves and possibly goggles if there's a possibility of splashing.

Hypothetically? It would be easy.

• pop the body in the bath. N.B. Enamel ONLY! Plastic or metal will erode during the following steps. Pop in a plug. You will need to cover the drain hole with something glass. I suggest an up side down shot glass. Don't worry, Air pressure will hold it in place.
  
• place the naked body in the bath (whole)
  
  By choice burn, or at minimum bury VERY VERY DEEPLY in a far far away plot of land, any extraneous items such as clothes or pointy "implements"
  
  
• Cover in high percentage acid. This is EASILY bought on amazon. I suggest [one shot] (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shot-Liquid-Drain-Cleaner-Litre/dp/B002OB4CTS) drain cleaner. It is 91% pure sulphuric acid. It has been [in the news] (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2176839/One-Shot-Instant-Drain-Cleaner-Boyd-James-scarred-life-acid-leaked-bedroom-ceiling-slept.html) after it ate through the bottle, a cupboard, a wooden floor and was still strong enough to melt a kids face off.
  
  Buy no more than 5 bottles in one place at one time and it doesn't flag as a suspicious buy. You'll need 30 -50 bottles, AT LEAST, depending on the body size.
  
  
• After the subject has been in the bath for an hour or so, pull the plug and wash off the bones. All the soft stuff will have disolved into a soup. The shower or taps are fine for this washing. N.B. wait till the "soup" is fully drained then IMMEDIATELY turn on the taps for at least 10 minutes to dilute the acid and stop the drains from wearing through and leaving trace.
  
• pop the bones in fresh acid and leave. The acid will dissolve the bones in
  24-48 hours
  
  The problems with this method is the smell. It is... memorable.. and unpleasant.
  
  The plus points? No DNA or trace.
  
  
  pro tip if you know for a fact that you have somewhere that won't be disturbed for at least 2 days then there is an easier (ish) way to do all this. Say you had a lock-up or a safe house??? Get an oil drum, pop the subject inside it and cover fully in acid. Pop on a lid and (IMPORTANTLY) place an active carbon filter over it to catch that odour I mentioned before.
  
  
  NOTE all this information is provided for entertainment only. I do not suggest you read up about [john george haigh] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_George_Haigh) and how he used this method to dispose of at least NINE bodies. And, needless to say, all this is... Hypothetically speaking.

Similarly, there are products out there that are caustic soda and lye crystals. As long as your drain is slowly draining, you can use these to clear a hair clog. It is basically industrial strength baking soda. https://www.amazon.com/Oatey-20410-Glug-Drain-Opener/dp/B004EVJ2M8

This is the stuff.

https://www.amazon.com/Flo-Kem-5195-Commercial-Bio-Enzyme-Deoderizer/dp/B00B02F68S?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_3

They’re a bit of a faff but if you’re fairly handy it should be ok. If the blockage is high off the ground it may be a pain to do though as it requires so many rods and you have to screw them all together.

The rods are what a plumber would probably use, if you call a drainage guy then he’d probably use a high pressure hose to work it’s way up the pipe and dislodge. May be worth calling someone like that instead, can often be cheaper. I used https://www.drainpoint.co.uk/ when I had a blocked pipe. Think it was £80 or so, can’t quite remember, but might be worth it split between all the flats.

Other alternative since it’s sunny now and assuming the water has cleared down is to pour a drain unblocker like https://www.amazon.co.uk/HG-Liquid-Drain-Unblocker-1L/dp/B000IU3VS0 down the bath of the topmost flat.

https://www.amazon.com/Drain-Sucker-condensate-repair-treatment/dp/B008PCK80M/ is the one I have. I'm not affiliated with it in any way other than being a satisfied customer. I'd say that $60 is too expensive for what it is, but it's saved me a lot more money than that, so I'm good.

These freaking condensate lines are a royal pain and will eventually always get clogged. can call hvac person and it should be $50-$100 to get remediated. i hate costs for things like this soooo u can use (judiciously) compressed air or alternatively a long wire to clear the blockage. do NOT blow out this line with extreme pressure or you may blow a fitting.

once fixed then be prepared for it to happen again. if the house is newer you will actually have two condensate lines and one of those lines is considered an “overflow” usually mounted higher or above a window that indicates to you a problem with the first. count me as one of the people who prefers these to drain into the tailpiece of a sink with clear tube for easy inspection and cleaning... but this isnt code everywhere and i hear is frowned upon now 🙄 basically calcium and slimy stuff clogs the line up. you can buy some of these for next time throw in drain pan and try to prevent the issue a little longer Nu-Calgon 4296-60 Pan-Treat Scum 200 Tablets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003N5AS60/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FiA4CbED5DJNT

Get soap eating bacteria like this type of thing (I've never used this actual product, but similar stuff when having problems with ivory soap in particular, went from frequent clogs to very infrequent clogs): Roebic Laboratories, Inc. K-87-4 32-Ounce Soap Digester
by Great Household
Learn more: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B000BQP2V0/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_Yl60Cb0J8YS9QDisclaimer

At my place we use BioMop. For nooks and crannies we put it into a spray bottle and dilute it 50:50 with water. Spray it on and just leave it, it's an enzyme that will eat organic material. It will take a few applications if there's a lot of buildup but it does work quite well in my experience. Also great for drains if you're having fruit fly problems.

Pretty much the best video ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZY4ovo5hjM

Something that costs almost $13.13 ($12.24 at the moment): https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B004L9V00U/?coliid=I1YQ3EDX4I70GK&colid=7MO62SYJ8X49&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

It can, but the one I've used works pretty well and it tells you to fill the sink with water above the top of the foam end. I'm assuming that is to prevent spray.

i use, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008JYFDRE/ref=sxr_rr_xsim_1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=3008523062&pd_rd_wg=1Mtaa&pf_rd_r=PWDE424M7BMSYQX999NT&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhs-carousels&pf_rd_t=301&pd_rd_i=B008JYFDRE&pd_rd_w=kh6yd&pf_rd_i=wetsuit+shampoo&pd_rd_r=3c6fb780-aead-4a05-a9fe-c2312f0d9cd1&ie=UTF8&qid=1511449396&sr=1

(Pau Pilau wet suit cleaner)
But understand that there is always going to be a funk of some kind. It never goes away completely.

This works 100%, had them bad. (Septic system)

https://www.amazon.com/InVade-Drain-Gallon-Original-Version/dp/B006ZB0N4G/ref=pd_rhf_ee_s_rp_c_0_8?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B006ZB0N4G&pd_rd_r=d4731328-0e6a-4467-bb07-10985c316350&pd_rd_w=SY42M&pd_rd_wg=4amK0&pf_rd_p=b1ac18d8-ef08-4cea-9366-e4a989a7ba51&pf_rd_r=SCHAXVJSX8AEY7BRJZFH&psc=1&refRID=SCHAXVJSX8AEY7BRJZFH

I'm thinking about trying to put this directly into the septic tank (since I already have access to that lid):

http://www.amazon.com/Roebic-K-570-Q-4-32-Ounce-Opener-Concentrate/dp/B006MQUU24/ref=pd_sim_121_1?ie=UTF8&dpID=41P7L6muTkL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR105%2C160_&refRID=0EP9PEZHEY413Z1W79V8

There's a draino for that. $8

I'm guessing you mean what I know as "drain flies."

These breed in decaying, wet organic matter. This is usually a sign that your drains need cleaning with something like roto-rooter but some times an enzymatic drain cleaner will do. That said: it COULD be something as simple as a potato that got kicked under a kitchen appliance and forgotten about. The point here is to find the breeding source and clean it. Sometimes a garbage disposal is the issue...maybe you just need to hose out your trash bins.

Weird. I see this at my store: http://www.amazon.com/Drano-Max-Clog-Remover-80-Ounce/dp/B003TS2R1A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409349140&sr=8-1&keywords=drano

"Safe for all drains/pipes"

Oh don't worry about it. Run some Draino down there, the foaming kind, let it do its thing for like 15 minutes and then you flush it with warm water. No risk at all really.

I'd be surprised to hear that pet safe drain cleaner even exists. And if it does it is probably overpriced and ineffective.

Good luck with your drain!

Edit: I'll be darned, it does exist. The reviews don't sound very promising though.

https://www.amazon.com/Earthworm-Family-Safe-Drain-Cleaner-32/dp/B001U2KM64?th=1&psc=1

Anyone here ever try Professor Amos? My SO watches shopping networks and they push it a lot.