(Part 4) Top products from r/ForeverAlone

This is an incredibly standard case. I see a lot of people giving you sympathy and talking about their similar situation, but you aren't going to get better until you take a step back and actually analyze the situation.

Do you "love" this girl because she has all of the virtues that you value in a person, or is it because she is the first and only female that has let you have sex with her? Clearly, if there is some random bro that she would rather fuck than you, you were mistaken about something. This is the "Halo Effect." You projected all of your illusions upon her. You've always dreamed of what it's like to have a girlfriend and you simply believed that the first girl who gave you a passing interest was the perfect one. This is not the case.

Now let's be realistic. This girl probably thinks you're a nice guy, easy to talk to, etc. However, she probably finds you mostly unattractive, or at the very least an embarrassment to be seen publicly with. I don't know how you ended up as friends with benefits, but clearly she doesn't see you fit enough for a relationship. She probably knew that she would end up cheating you and devastating you more than she did by breaking it off early.

That being said, you can NOT continue to be friends with this girl. It is impossible. You will only prolong your torture. Delete her number, remove her as a Facebook friend, get rid of any way of contacting her. Once you do that, you'll be free. Once she doesn't make any effort to make amends, you'll realize how little your friendship means to her and HOPEFULLY you'll realize that you were wrong about her the entire time.

Finally, in order to really remedy this situation, you need to get some self respect. Get a sense of life. It seems as if you put your entire self worth, your whole life, and your happiness squarely on the shoulders of another person. Learn to appreciate that YOU are the sole justification for your existence. Learn to be happy with who you are on your own. Love yourself, because if you don't why would anyone else want to love you?

Sure Katherine is a shitty person for leading you on as much as she did, probably fueled by her guilt of your eventual heartbreak and the desire to maintain the outlet for her emotional spewings. HOWEVER, this situation is NOT her fault. It's YOURS for not seeing her for who she truly was. It's YOURS for valuing her as much as you did. It's YOURS for making her the sole key to your own happiness. If you can fully comprehend and accept that, you will feel infinitely better.

My recommendation? Never speak to her again (even if she reaches out to you), partake in your favorite hobbies (or start a new one), and read Atlas Shrugged. It will change your life.

I've mentioned them before in my post history, but i can look up the source when i get home if you want more information. The book I'm reading is called Love in Action, and it's a good introduction to mating practices across the globe, including things like coming of age, sex education, mate selection, etc. Highly recommend it if you're interested in sociology or sexology.

The difference i can see is that the "college frat parties" you're talking about only functions for a selected group of people, whereas this lodge system is mandatory as a rite of passage up until marriage.

Laziness/low motivation could be a sign of depression, maybe it might help you to see a counsellor and talk it over, see if it's an issue for you.

I've been reading and working through a book called "Superfoods to boost your mood" by Alexandra Massey and Anita Bean, it's a great little book and it explains the relation between diet and mood and suggests certain eating plans to help make a change for the better. Much of it is common sense (if you eat processed stuff you're going to feel sluggish, fresh fruit and lean meats give you more energy etc.) It's helped pick me up on more than one occasion so it might be worth having a look at.

I do know what you mean though, I often prefer not to go even to family events just because I don't want to bring people down with my lethargy...

I love my Scott Adams. I have this http://www.amazon.com/Dilbert-2-0-20-Years/dp/0740777351 along with many of dilbert books.. funny that he made me question reality as much as matrix, talking about science experiments and whatnot

I feel for you buddy. I was also very nervous around girls. Looking back I was so cringe worthy! I read this book Its not a miracle cure, but it gave me a huge step in the right direction. It gives you a small challenge everyday, for 30 days.

If there's one thing you do this month, read this book. Buy it, borrow it, download it. Whatever. Just read it :)

Liz Climo, Lobster is the Best Medicine

LOL

maybe instead of watchin netflix u should read a book

http://amzn.com/0448445492

> Perhaps I expected too much. I had been led to believe that having a good body was enough to make up for myriad flaws

I'm surprised this doesn't at least get you women showing some interest or first dates.

I'll take a stab at this and say you probably come from the upper class? Maybe went to some expensive private school? If you did, are you still around people of similar background? The point being, those in the upper class have a different culture than those in the middle and those in the middle different from the lower class. If you're spending time, for whatever reason such as job, around those of a different class this can create problems due to cultural clash.

This old book talks about the differences in how the American classes live, if you're interested in finding out more.

Alone Together. It's an interesting read.

I read this recently and found it interesting. You might recognise some of your behaviours in it...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Do-That-Psychological-Mechanisms/dp/0988443120/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Looks matter more than you ever imagined

Previously I had been to psychologists for talk therapy and psychiatrists, etc... None of that was productive until I discovered Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). There are aspects of it that I think were adapted or influenced by CBT. I see a doctor of psychology, but there are many others without doctorates who are licensed to perform EMDR.

Check out this book, it was written by the woman who discovered and developed it.

Also, the wikipedia article is decent.

Oi, britfags http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0572021518/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/279-0070598-0125845

Immediately thought of this.

http://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-Thrive-Extrovert-World/dp/0761123695

I recommend this one: http://www.amazon.com/Solitude-Return-Self-Anthony-Storr/dp/0743280741

Time that people spend alone seems to be severely under-appreciated by society, even though it's absolutely critically necessary for some of us to function at all.

I would not have spent the time typing that out just to troll. THIS. Your cynicism is probably a bigger issue than any of the stuff you believe to be your problem. You can change your mindset http://www.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Brain-Think-Better/dp/0470487291 This is an easy to read, easy to understand book. It's technically self-help but it's not really self-help as it is written (and is) in a more scientific manner. Also everything in it is empirically true and it lays out step by step how to go about following the methods. But you believe what you want to believe. It's your loss. You are this way because you want to be this way http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Theory-Psychology-Personal-Freedom/dp/0060930144/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462798234&sr=1-1&keywords=choice+theory It's easier, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to challenge yourself, you don't have to risk anything. You want to avoid pain, you want to avoid hardship, but the truth is, those things are unavoidable, you are only fooling yourself. Change isn't always easy, I won't say it is, there will be moments of pain, but there is an alternative if you choose to take it.