(Part 2) Top products from r/askseddit

So my guess is that it's less of a physical appearance matter and more of a personality/attitude thing. Such as the beach for example, instead of asking who wants to go to the beach, make it more definite. You're going to the beach, who wants to come along? You need to give off the air that while you would like everyone's company, you don't need it. THEY'RE the ones who should feel privileged to be around you, not the other way around. As for the getting things example, I assume you always go up and get it? It's one thing to be the helpful guy people appreciate, another to be the carpet they walk on. If they ask you to get something, give them a little crap for asking, then another time ask them to make it up to you. Perhaps "Alright fine I'll get the beer, but you owe me pizza later" And actually get them to get the pizza.

As for the body, it sounds like you lack some confidence due to being skinny. While skinny men can be Alpha and imposing, perhaps you should work out more so YOU feel imposing.

But basically what it boils down to is that it feels like you don't have the most confidence and get dejected when people don't go with you to the point of being a bit submissive. Fake it till you've got it, just pretend that you're confident and things should be the way they are, and eventually it'll actually work out that way. Read some of the links on here, plus I highly recommend looking at The Art of Manliness for more ideas. Most important is to just go out and try things out, reading can only take you so far, and failing is not failure, it's a learning experience.

Also here's some advice I gave earlier which might help:

>For your hair post in /r/malehairadvice for a style that fits you, they're going to want full body pics with outfit. As for fashion, post in /r/malefashionadvice for some help based on your figure and body stature. If you truly want a progression to give you some guidance, consdier The Art of Manliness' 30 Days to a Better Man (also just a damn good manly blog.

>If you want to change how you look physically, hit the gym, use /r/Fitness to help develop a routine. With a diet and regular exercise within a year you'll look completely different.

>Now we've hit the physical attributes of being more manly, for the more mental ones that's harder. They will develop as you come to appreciate your body more, but it's a mindset more than anything. If you pretend confidence long enough you have it eventually. When someone tells you you're like an annoying little brother, ask why, figure out what personality traits these are and change them. I highly recommend finding some inspirational figure to model your life on, for me personally it's Theodore Roosevelt, Edmund Morris's biographical trilogy is FANTASTIC. At least read the first book, Roosevelt had to overcome much greater hurdles than you, you can do the same. Don't be afraid to ask questions and figure out why people think you are the way you are, just be sure to change it. If you need motivation, /r/GetMotivated is there for you. Further let this move into other areas of your life, work hard and play hard.

>I'm going to strongly encourage you to read some articles on Art of Manliness, it's not 100% perfect, but a great site for men.

>Edit: Oh and I know it's too late for you to do this now, but one of the most attractive qualities I've been told by women is that I'm an Eagle Scout. Reasoning behind this is that it says that I embody certain aspects, namely the Scout Law and Scout Oath (as well as the Slogan and Motto). You can still live up to these ideals without being an Eagle Scout, just start now, they really are very manly.

>Should I break up with my "shitty" "friends"? Is that even possible? Is it even worth it, because if I do it and my new grade doesn't like me, I'll fall between the cracks and I'll be forever alone atleast till I graduate in 3 years.

Ahhh, this is what I was looking for.

Want people to like you? VALUE THEM.

That's literally all you need to do. You don't need to play sports, look sexy, have a good haircut, wear nice clothes, smell good, have a million bucks... you just need to value people.

You don't have "shitty friends." You are a shitty friend.

You feel your friends are holding you back from climbing up the social ladder. So you are willing to abandon them at any point to "trade up" for new friends, who are hopefully "cool."

The only reason you don't do this is you feel if you take that risk, you might just lose all your friends.

You're right about that.

Start valuing your friends. That is how you will start valuing yourself. The only reason you don't like your friends is because you see a reflection of yourself in them. So if you start liking your friends, you'll start liking yourself.

When you start liking yourself, others will start liking you.

View all human beings as equal. There are no "cool kids" and non "cool kids." There are just human beings. And they all want to be valued. And none of them are being valued.

If you can value them, they will like you, and you will like yourself.

Read:

"How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie"

"Just Listen – Mark Goulston"

> After complying to every one of her needs and not getting much reciprocation back, I became very frustrated and cut off all contact.

I'm going to recommend a book to you that every single person should read if they want to better understand relationship dynamics that no one else directly addresses. It's called the Passion Trap:

http://www.amazon.ca/Passion-Trap-Where-Relationship-Going/dp/1587361086

You can download the kindle sample. You'll probably gain some great insights just from reading the first chapter.

Now, when it comes to this situation at hand, I'd say feel it out, but know that you will probably end up moving on anyways. Don't worry about "burning bridges". The reality is that you gave it a shot, you both probably learned and grew from the relationship, and it probably won't be half as exciting and fulfilling this time around. Give it a shot though, because what you learn from the experience will be much great than anything you could read on Seddit.

Ok so it sounds like looks aren't your strong suit. Working out is a good idea but bottom line - if you're 5'5 you aren't the guy that girls are just going to notice based on looks. Also, shave your head if you haven't already. Then you don't look bald. You look like a guy with a shaved head.

So clearly looks aren't your strongest suit, but your talking and social skills are. By not talking to women and waiting for them to show interest based on your looks, you are keeping your strong suit hidden and relying on your weaker aspect.

Now you might not think you have good social skills except when you are in the zone but here's the truth. Your "zone" is just experiencing a lack of anxiety. What you experience most of the time is social anxiety. That's why you are in your head.

The way you can deal with your anxiety about talking to women is through exposure (talk to lots of women) and read up on how to deal with the anxiety. This book is good: http://www.amazon.com/Control-Your-Anxiety-Before-Controls/dp/0806521368/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

RELAX then just do what you are doing and acknowledge when your body language is off and stop. Read some books on body language to learn to project more confidence. I recommend What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People

This isn't really what I am looking for but thanks. It looks like it is about gaming your social circle which is the last thing I want to do right now. I'm looking into just connecting with people. I'm reading this at the moment and wouldn't mind recommendations along these lines.

There's always the classic How To Win Friends and Influence People

If you're interested in having a serious conversation. I'm willing to talk.


My stance:
Negging and the number system are fine. I have no problems with them. First: The number system [this is the whole attractive 1-10 scale]. Its not an evaluation of how much the person is worth. Its how attractive are they to you. Women do this and men do this. They have different reasons for doing this. Claiming that it's a crappy thing to do is disingenuous to yourself and who you talk to. If you don't use a number system, you still compare others. The other benefit [and why pua uses] to the number system is that its easy to describe to others without going into the appearence details or personal identifiers of the girls online. As the community, we're not interested in identifying the person. We're interested in the interaction.

Negging: Its teasing. It's not a compliment and it's not an insult.

From a lot of feminists that I"ve read their arguments, their opposition tends to stem from extreme situations or the lack of social IQ. When you go for a kiss with a girl, both parties don't confirm that the action that is going to take place is going to happen.

In a perfect world:

It would be easy to get to know the opposite sex and come to a mutual agreement about what each other want. However, games are played. Girls, in general, are playing a game that the guys aren't aware of. However, guys are thrown into the game and are expected to play well. I am of the opinion of lets stop playing games and have a bit of fun together. Everyone could be direct and clear about what they want and don't want. However this is not the case in the real world.


Marketing

When PUA information is sold, it is typically sold by marketers. They're going for what appeals to a base desire of the demographic (guys), sex. Guys want to be able to communicate what they want without the negative reprocutions that have been getting worse. [There are women out there that want to ruin a guy's reputation for hitting on her or just wanting sex. Thats screwed up, but again... some women] I think there is a lot of bad marketing out there. I'm referring to the types "have sex with any girl you want." A lot of the fear about the pickup guides/classes/bootcamps comes from the same fears about hypnotism... its "forcing people to do what they don't want to do." You cannot make any girl, without the threat of violence or coercion, have sex with you if they don't want to. Where am I going with this: Seduction/game requires that you learn how to be your best self, be aware of the situation, and to become very approachable to the opposite sex. From the perspective of strategy, coercion and violence is a very bad idea and it would limit your opportunities. Seduction/game: We want to meet agreeable people, and to have fun with others.


How men are treated

I think something that should be address is how men are treated in modern society. As a man, you're not given a lot of opportunity to be social, or to be apart of a community unless you really work for it. Norah Vincennt might be able to explain this point a bit better: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702
[However, after the experiement she found her self to be in such a bad state that it required a stay in a mental insitution for depression.] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norah_Vincent)

The power of now by Eckhart Tolle is a fantastic book for this. I am definitely not the spiritual type, but this book seems to capture more than just spirituality.

i agree that philosophy books are very important, but i found one self-help book really interesting. http://www.amazon.com/Self-Coaching-Powerful-Program-Depression-Completely/dp/0471768286

it really is an interesting book as it points out common insecurities within a person. it addresses them and allows you to work through it and ultimately be a more confident person. i think this book is essential if you ever find yourself insecure, depressed, anxious in any situation.

I'm thinking of this book, this book and this book

http://www.amazon.com/PeopleSmart-Developing-Your-Interpersonal-Intelligence/dp/1576750914/ref=sr_1_13?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345627931&sr=1-13&keywords=Small+Talk

http://www.amazon.com/Small-Talk-Socialising-Kathy-Schmidt/dp/1741106192/ref=sr_1_16?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345627931&sr=1-16&keywords=Small+Talk

http://www.amazon.com/Conversationally-Speaking-Increase-Personal-Effectiveness/dp/1565656296/ref=pd_cp_b_0

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Way-You-Say-Well-spoken/dp/1450215165/ref=pd_cp_b_2

I've read all of these books, and they really helped me with my communication skills.

Read/Listen to these, do them:

• http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005EOTH24?cache=c50f3e7759ba8a195914a6f793d34305&pi=SY200_QL40&qid=1405313431&sr=8-1#ref=mp_s_a_1_1
  
• http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004C438CW?cache=c50f3e7759ba8a195914a6f793d34305&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&qid=1405313431&sr=8-4#ref=mp_s_a_1_4
  
• http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/042525318X?pc_redir=1405167671&robot_redir=1
  
• http://stronglifts.com/5x5/
  
• http://www.meetup.com

I could not find any improv near you :-(

You might have to resort to http://www.amazon.com/The-Improv-Handbook-Ultimate-Improvising/dp/0826428584/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342298356&sr=8-1&keywords=improv

AND http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=improv&page=&utm_source=opensearch

Read My Secret Garden ... It will give you an idea of how filthy girls are. Not every girl is going to have some of the very specific fetishes outlined here... but the overall point is: they're very hedonistic, and their minds are more graphic than ours.

Also read 50 Shades Of Grey. It's terrible. But you'll get a sense of what all the fuss is about. Notice the masculine - feminine polarity between the two.