(Part 2) Top products from r/myfriendwantstoknow

One of the contributing factors to women being paid less than men is that they generally are less likely to negotiate salary. I'm sorry that your friend has found herself in this sort of situation.


When you negotiate it is important to remember that you are looking for a complete compensation package which may include vacation (more accrual or more to start), signing bonus, relocation expenses, retirement contributions, etc, in addition to the salary. Some of these may only be available to executives though.

When I was applying for jobs after graduate school I went to a counselor and we spent an entire hour on negotiation techniques. I spent $60 and used what I learned to increase my starting salary from $73K to $88K, with a grade increase to boot. The core of the conversation was


Me: "Thanks for seeing me [I went to negotiate face to face], and for the offer, but I was looking for something in the low 90s"

HR: "That would be for a level 4, and this offer is for a level 3"

Me: "So maybe I need to be a level 4"

That was over a decade ago, so I'm at over a $150K return (not including the percentage increases during the raises) on a $60 investment.

The key is to be respectful but straight forward. The company almost always has room to adjust, especially if they have someone that they want to hire. They don't want to go to the expense of screening and interviewing more candidates, checking references, making offers, losing working getting done, etc for another few thousand a year.

I put the material from my time with the counselor here and it has some information that applies to your questions. In short:

1. Bring up compensation only after they have figured out that they want to hire you. See the graph in material.
   
   
2. Keep the complete compensation package thought in mind. Maybe they can't do much on salary, but how about a signing bonus or extra vacation?
   
   
3. The first person to mention a salary number is at a disadvantage. Polite questions that seek clarification are good and always appropriate.
   
   
4. Make the employer say the number first. Your friend should then be polite, but non committal. See the material for examples. Your friend could then say "I was expecting something in the XXX range".
   
   
5. See the material. Also, search for salary threads in /r/jobs.
   
   Good luck!

The Game is just a story, though it does include some tips and examples of the techniques they use. It's more entertainment than educational.

Instead, he should read the actual handbook written by Neil Strauss and Eric von Markovik (Style and Mystery).

Disclaimer: It should go without saying that this material is somewhat controversial. I read The Game and the handbook back in college, and it did wonders for my confidence and romantic life, but I often get funny looks when I recommend these books. He also shouldn't expect changes overnight. Real confidence takes months or even years to build. By that time he may grow out of the desire for meaningless hookups and might find himself more interested in something more permanent. Either way, boosted confidence won't hurt.

He may perceive that others will like him more for doing favors. He may believe that he is valuable because of the services he renders. Whatever the reason(s), your friend has the capability to say no, he just chooses to say yes.

There are lots of self-help books on the topic. "Your Perfect Right" and "The Power of a Positive No" are both geared towards men.

The psychology behind difficulty saying no is complex and rather irrelevant. Your friend does not have to understand a behavior in order to correct it.

Having his/her own hops is a great start, but their next step should be to learn a little about the fundamentals of the brewing process and fermentation science. For beginners just trying to make a brew, the very very basics will work fine. No need to get complicated just yet.

Have them check out Papazian's The Joy of Home Brewing or Palmer's How to Brew. Or if they want, Palmer has an online edition.

Next they'll need equipment and ingredients. Check out these vendors or search for a local brew shop:

Northern Brewer
Midwest Brewing
Austin Homebrew Supply
William's Brewing

Cheers.

I like what /u/ThenWhatDidYouExpect wrote.


There are several books that I think have merit.

I really liked this one
http://www.amazon.com/Hell-Back-Maurice-Rawlings/dp/0840767587

YFSK that life is full of risks: for us as individuals, for anyone in our families, for any of our friends. These risks include an infinity of terrible things that can happen during conception, during pregnancy, during childhood and during adulthood. Tell her that while we can be mindful of the potential catastrophes that can befall us and our loved ones, we shouldn't allow our fear of these things to prevent us from fulfilling our goals, whether we aspire to cross the street (and face the risk of being hit by a bus, notwithstanding the pleasures awaiting us on the other side) or start a family (and face the risk of any number of misfortunes, notwithstanding the spectacular pleasure and fulfillment associated with bringing a new and unique being into the world, regardless of its abilities or limitations).

See also A Guide to the Good Life, by Bill Irvine.

tl/dr: feel the fear and do it anyway

https://www.amazon.com/Encyclopedia-Psychoactive-Plants-Ethnopharmacology-Applications/dp/0892819782

There a lots of books, not sure if this is what you’re after but I’ve heard great things about it.

Tell him to procure and softly play a VHS copy of NBA Superstars to inspire himself to greatness.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy has helped me a ton. Your friend might consider something non-medicinal if he doesn't like the side-effects. This book has been especially helpful for me.

I found this

I don't know, but my gut tells me you can't do it unless it's shown to be safe with a Certificate of Measured Radiation.

vocabulary flash cards. You learn a new word, think you never heard it before. But after you learn it, if you read much, you start seeing it, as if for the first time. On the other hand, if you don't read much, maybe there isn't much point in expanding your vocabulary.

http://www.amazon.com/Element-Encyclopedia-Magical-Creatures-Fantastic/dp/140273543X/
I have this book personally. I really like it. It gives you everything from mythological to modern day legends.

A kids' toy would do it for you:

https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Resources-5200-Sonic-Sleuth/dp/B0002VJYRC

And you would look like a boss

Kind of sounds like these LED road flares [8 Pack] LED Road Flares Safety Flashing Warning Light Roadside Emergency Disc Beacon Kit for Vehicles Boats with Magnetic Base & Hook, Premium Storage Bag (Batteries Not Included) (8) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YDNV42F/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_exiRDbSYC7XB9

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1539833120&sr=8-3&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

There was a book that really helped me when I was a little kid. You drank a big glass of water then read this book about the desert or something.

I think this was it:

http://www.amazon.com/Dry-All-Night-Technique-Bedwetting/dp/0316542253

You could suck on one of these.