(Part 3) Top products from r/funny

They are super nice. I just bought a cheep one a year ago and i'm SOOOO glad I did.

But yes, you want TP after you bidet, but just like 2 squares to dry.... But if you dont have any tp, it's just slightly annoying to have a completely clean but slightly damp tush. Annoying vs unlivable.

If you're curious This is the one I suggest. It's $35. I did a lot of research and this one is well reviewed for the price. Installation is about 10 min, you have to unscrew the hose for the toilet, screw it back on, then take of the toilet seat, and put it back on. $35 is throw away money for most people. And you'll save loads on TP so it'll pay for it's self easy. And of course if you ever get the burning shits, you'll be blessing my name.

Seriously, just do it.

Yes, yes. This scenario is kind of the whole point of the title.

Anyway, If you like The Onion or The Daily Show, you'd enjoy How To Be Black (even if you aren't). Baratunde Thurston (the author) is a director and a producer of both, respectively. And, just to make absolutely sure the rest of us feel like unaccomplished shlubs, he's also a fellow at the MIT Media Lab.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Black-Baratunde-Thurston/dp/0062003224

> The Onion’s Baratunde Thurston shares his 30-plus years of expertise in being black, with helpful essays like “How to Be the Black Friend,” “How to Speak for All Black People,” “How To Celebrate Black History Month,” and more, in this satirical guide to race issues—written for black people and those who love them. Audacious, cunning, and razor-sharp, How to Be Black exposes the mass-media’s insidiously racist, monochromatic portrayal of black culture’s richness and variety. Fans of Stuff White People Like, This Week in Blackness, and Ending Racism in About an Hour will be captivated, uplifted, incensed, and inspired by this hilarious and powerful attack on America’s blacklisting of black culture: Baratunde Thurston’s How to Be Black.

Oh I do, and everytime I see her, there's poop questions. I'm probably sitting at Type 3 most days, but the spicy nugs push it to more like Type 6 (Type 7 if there's booze involved). I got her this book, and she seemed quite pleased.

Thanks for the concern though!

Or better yet buy the game on amazon and support the awesome result of a kickstarter project

http://www.amazon.com/Cards-Against-Humanity/dp/B004S8F7QM

I don't think that this comment will be read by OP, but I have something interesting for him, so here I go. This book made me stop smoking. I bought it on January 30, and got it on February 12. On February 29 I was 100% smoke free. I can drink alcohol, and I don't have any cravings. I can be with friends that smoke, and I don't have any cravings. This book changed my life.

Look no further.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C9MQybPPGYTH7

Bonus quote from reviews:

"Speaking as a hirsute gentleman, the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 has soured me on pooping in bidet-less toilets forever. It's shown me the difference between rubbing peanut butter out of shag carpeting with a paper towel, and that sparkling clean feeling you get right when you step out of the shower."

Can I recommend "Letters from a nut" if you enjoy these letters. It's a great toilet book.

What's the link to it? You're definitely funny, and I'd love to read more.

Also, the "crazy letters" idea reminds me of the book Letters from a Nut. I recommend it.

I just love the awesome product image

If the blowjobs don't work out, try reading Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

I never thought reading a book would get me to quit smoking, but I read it in one day two years ago and haven't smoked since! Good luck on your journey, friend.

If you like these you really need to get "The Lazlo Letters" by Don Novello (the guy who did Father Guido Sarducci.)

He sent letters to companies as a conservative reactionary, but wrote them so they really sounded authentic, and got some awesome responses.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Lazlo-Letters-Don-Novello/dp/1563052857

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

The author is a pretty funny person. Her writing is rather witty.

Pretty funny stuff. Reminded me of an old favorite I had forgotten about, the Lazlo Toth letters, from Don Novello (Father Guido Sarducci). He wrote letters to stores, famous people, etc, and published a book of them - Book linkon Amazon

Hilarious book, but Seinfeld only wrote the introduction. The author, Ted L. Nancy, is the pseudonym of writer/ comedian Barry Marder.

Edit: Some people suspected the author was either Seinfeld or Larry David, until Seinfeld finally outed Marder.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B008D1JRIO/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1511612063&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=washable+keyboard&dpPl=1&dpID=41lIUWkuf%2BL&ref=plSrch would make a great xmas gift

From one tall person to another get one of these then a rain style showerhead.


It's a great feeling to stand up straight and have the water wash over all of you, front and back.

Yea, the car sun shade also


Edit: this one is pretty sweet too

If this tickled your funny bone, you'd love The Lazlo Letters. Maybe not as funny if you are under 30, though. You can find some of them as PDFs on the web, and try them out.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1563052857/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdm_D0NXtb13R62HG

Actually sounds like an interesting book.....well there goes $12 to Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062003224/ref=mw_dp_mdsc?dsc=1

Older houses were built for the generations before us. Better nutrition allowed us to grow taller than our parents and this has been going on for a few generations. I'm a builder and the ones I build come out of the ceiling or up around 6'4' depending on the installation. But we've also got to take the shorter of us into account too. So we use something like this http://www.amazon.com/UA902-PK-Universal-Showering-Components-Adjustable/dp/B0064TYE9Y/ref=sr_1_5/189-6573436-0688128?ie=UTF8&qid=1416201795&sr=8-5&keywords=Rainfall+Showerhead

Lots of different designs are available and if you shop around you can get what fits your needs pretty cheaply. I hate to say it but Walmart has a decent selection. They have to serve a lot of freaks so they're going to have a good selection that are designed differently. The majority have a pulse setting but they sell standard ones too.

that's the best part!


https://www.amazon.com/Bakers-Edge-Nonstick-Brownie-Pan/dp/B000MMK448

For anyone wondering this is a real book and it is both hilarious and poignant. I'd highly recommend it.

I recommend the $40 one http://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1419034659&sr=8-5&keywords=bidet

It has a splash guard and the water line is a little more protected under the seat. I had a cheaper model break under the seat.

Some more superb reviews available here.

Amazon has a slightly better deal :-)

http://www.amazon.com/Plasticolor-003700R01-Star-Accordion-Sunshade/dp/B00COYNZJ8

if you liked the op, you'll like these:

http://www.amazon.com/Lazlo-Letters-Don-Novello/dp/1563052857/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254661089&sr=8-1

Bruh. Buy this guy and install it.
Best $35 you'll ever spend. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_vtA3Bb2H598MF

This is why I always liked Alton Brown on Good Eats. He would always try to pick recipes and find ways around such extravagances. Want to have more edges on your brownies to get that extra crunch? You could go buy a $37 specialty pan, or maybe just go ahead and make them in the cupcake tin you already have. Does the recipe call for an incredibly expensive mushroom grown only in Svenborgia? Sure, but many local markets for international cuisine have something nearly identical for almost nothing.

Also, here's another link to the doormat to protect your innocent drug dealer from corrupt cops: http://www.amazon.com/Come-Back-Indoor-Outdoor-Doormat/dp/B00020O572

Look up the reviews for “Liquid ass” on Amazon if you want to make your day better. Edit: https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister/product-reviews/B000OCEWGW

Here you go there's also a cheaper one listed below but Logitech is good.

For $35 you can have one!

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_xLEQAbHNG499A

Reminds me of Letters From A Nut by Ted L. Nancy

I like this, but I think we can make an integrated, all-in-one solution by using dye with some Liquid Ass mixed in. We could call it "Purple Stank".

I have this one and don't know how I lived without it.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_y7ZCxbZ57VF12

> Allen Carrs the easy way to quit smoking

Is this it?

Were you inspired by The Lazlo Letters? http://www.amazon.com/Lazlo-Letters-Don-Novello/dp/1563052857

You guys might like

[Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch](http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529-4035-Tourbillon-Titanium-Chronograph/dp/B001K3IXW8/ref=sr_1_1?s=watches&ie=UTF8&qid=1394910679&sr=1-
1&keywords=zenith+defy+xtreme)


and the Hutzler-571-Banana-Slicer's reviews.

And yes, you can buy the can

I wish my hdmi cable was that cheap

I can’t even.. tap it!
Edit: for mobile users with huge fingers: https://www.amazon.com/Bakers-Edge-Nonstick-Brownie-Pan/dp/B000MMK448/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1509829278&sr=8-3&keywords=all+edges+brownie+pan

You might like this book if you haven't already read it.

A guy did a whole book of stuff like this about 13 or 14 years ago through snail mail. Some of them are a hoot.

http://www.amazon.com/Letters-Nut-Ted-L-Nancy/dp/0380973545

I would think a security chief would be aware of the eats, shoots and leaves issue.

Reminds me of the reviews for AudioQuest Diamond HDMI cables

Unscrew shower head, screw this on:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0064TYE9Y

screw shower head on to that.

If that's not enough, there are other options, or you can go with a hand held head on a flex hose.

Here is the original link:
http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529-4035-Tourbillon-Titanium-Chronograph/product-reviews/B001K3IXW8/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

<$20 solution

http://www.amazon.com/UA902-PK-Universal-Showering-Components-Adjustable/dp/B0064TYE9Y/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1422656641&sr=8-4&keywords=flexible+shower+arm&pebp=1422656640170&peasin=B0064TYE9Y

Why do people put up with this? Either get a detachable shower head or an extension arm.

If you live in an apartment just keep the original one so you can put it back on when you move out. You can usually install them without even using any tools.

Same problem here, I got a shower head extension, $20, does the job beautifully!

My dad was a smoker since I was born (har har), and tried to quit several times. A few years ago, he read this book and it worked for him. He says he gave it to all his friends afterwards, swears by it now. I don't know if it'll work for you, but give it a try I guess?

Wait, I just ordered (and received) my copy a week or two ago. Did I get my order in just before it sold out or something?

Edit - Amazon link

In stock there and qualifies for amazon prime...

Why Amazon? Why? http://www.amazon.com/Plasticolor-003700R01-Star-Accordion-Sunshade/dp/B00COYNZJ8

Bullshit

EDIT: Here is the company sight for said product. I wouldn't want to not give credit where credit was due.

35 bucks on amazon! Installed on all the toilets. First thing I had ordered even we moved in to the new house. amazon bidet for 35

Laslo Toth Letters by Don Novelllo is also recommended

This book was written by Baratunde Thurston, published in 2012. https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Black-Baratunde-Thurston/dp/0062003224

He has been an occasional guest on This Week in Tech, was digital director for The Onion, and is currently the supervising producer of original digital content for the Daily Show with Trevor Noah.

He’s also funny as fuck.

And for anyone who just wants to know what the actual book is, it's Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0615482155

It's on my Amazon wishlist:

Cards Against Humanity

Link to Amazon page.

If want authenticity, you can check out The Lazlo Letters or Letters from a Nut

This is the same reason I hate EVERY shower. Buy one of these, it will be the best $20 bucks you'll ever spend. Take it with you when you travel.

You may want to invest in this.

Did anyone else notice their 5th product feature on amazon.com? Made me lol.

For those too lazy, here's the spoiler:

0% of the proceeds will be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation

If you want more craziness like this I'd suggest reading Letters from a nut

I'm 6'4" and I use This to solve the problem. No more bending over in the shower. Unless you want to :)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062003224/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479536118&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=how+to+be+black

There you go

Correct.

The book

Nothing to take creep shots over.

It's a real book, guys

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062003224/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478406941&sr=1-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=how+to+be+black&dpPl=1&dpID=41F7kGUmSHL&ref=plSrch

guess this book is a big fat liar

Some educational literature for your office.

https://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Turtleback-School-Library-Binding/dp/0613685725

Just click it (SFW)

Why is this NSFW? "Everybody poops"

https://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Turtleback-School-Library-Binding/dp/0613685725

Everyone Poops

http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Turtleback-Library-Binding-Edition/dp/0613685725

guess this book is a big fat liar

See also: http://www.amazon.com/The-Lazlo-Letters-Don-Novello/dp/1563052857

Learn

Relevant.

Eats Shoots and Leaves

https://www.amazon.com/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Tolerance-Punctuation/dp/1592402038

Here.

You can get one of these on Amazon

You can get it right here.

Just ordered one. http://www.amazon.com/Come-Back-Indoor-Outdoor-Doormat/dp/B00020O572

Or $13.

Source --->> http://www.amazon.com/Southwest-Specialty-Products-30007C-Barbasol/dp/B000HZ8RN0/

Budget version:

http://www.amazon.com/Southwest-Specialty-Products-30007C-Barbasol/dp/B000HZ8RN0

http://www.amazon.com/Southwest-Specialty-Products-30007C-Barbasol/dp/B000HZ8RN0

could start with these or find their supplier and buy direct.

http://www.amazon.com/Southwest-Specialty-Products-30007C-Barbasol/dp/B000HZ8RN0

http://www.amazon.com/Southwest-Specialty-Products-30007C-Barbasol/dp/B000HZ8RN0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371833894&sr=8-1&keywords=shaving+cream+safe

I've considered buying this

The brownie pan for you:

http://www.amazon.com/Bakers-Edge-Nonstick-Brownie-Pan/dp/B000MMK448

Oderus.

Maye this will help her

Mirrored at the source.

For the inquiring: http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529-4035-Tourbillon-Titanium-Chronograph/dp/B001K3IXW8

http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529-4035-Tourbillon-Titanium-Chronograph/dp/B001K3IXW8

http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529-4035-Tourbillon-Titanium-Chronograph/product-reviews/B001K3IXW8/ref=dpx_acr_txt?showViewpoints=1

just read a couple of reviews about this ridiculous watch.

Pics

The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee

Fresh Whole Rabbit

Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch

Wenger 16999 Giant Swiss Army Knife

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

Uranium Ore

THIS comes in a close second for me.

here you go

Oh I dunno about that

Non-mobile version.

Unless it was this:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003CT2A2M?pc_redir=1406538610&robot_redir=1

would this product qualify?

You're gonna need this to clean the sink.

https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Touched-Your-Genitals-Sanitizer/dp/B004CPQBRA?th=1

That's why this exists

it's real

http://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Touched-Your-Genitals-Sanitizer/dp/B004CPQBRA

https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Touched-Your-Genitals-Sanitizer/dp/B004CPQBRA?th=1

Only $5.49!

I thought this was an apt name for it.

Non mobile link I think

There's also BIC pens for her.

Link to more reviews: http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B004FTGJUW/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

[link to pens] (http://www.amazon.co.uk/BIC-For-Amber-Medium-Ballpoint/dp/B004FTGJUW/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top/276-9434076-7140210)

check out the one for the bic for women pen

https://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B004FTGJUW/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_helpful/276-6788303-4893364?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0

All of the reviews can be found here!

Keep an eye on http://www.amazon.com/Cards-Against-Humanity/dp/B004S8F7QM

I got them for $25+shipping.

Atheist version.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0064TYE9Y/ref=oh_details_o08_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Logitech Washable Wired Keyboard K310 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008D1JRIO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_0O7QCb6MTEPXH

It comes with a tiny brush too.

I literally run it in hot water for five minutes.

Had it 6 years.

Logitech K310


https://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Washable-Wired-Keyboard-K310/dp/B008D1JRIO

Logitech Washable Keyboard

Got mine from Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00COYNZJ8

http://www.amazon.com/Plasticolor-003700R01-Star-Accordion-Sunshade/dp/B00COYNZJ8

I'll just leave this here.

I use this :) No problems like that anymore
http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Washable-Keyboard-K310-Windows/dp/B008D1JRIO

A cheaper alternative that isn't as cool.

http://www.amazon.com/Southwest-Specialty-Products-30007C-Barbasol/dp/B000HZ8RN0

Still doesn't beat the value of [this] (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001K3IXW8/Product_display-20?ie=UTF8)

Amazon.com often has issues shipping stuff to Canada. It's not like it isn't available on Amazon.ca though.

We did a variation of this one when I was a freshman, only using a bottle of this bio-weapon you can by on Amazon. We diluted it a little with water, but it was still devastatingly effective. Came close to getting our housing contract revoked over it...

This book made all the difference for me- The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr;
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0615482155/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505431259&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=easy+way+to+stop+smoking&dpPl=1&dpID=51TR%2BW3AlaL&ref=plSrch

I quit and never looked back thanks to that book- I've lost count of how many years it's been now. Went from a pack a day to not giving any fucks about cigarettes.

This "joke" doormat is no joke...

No, you need this cable.

For the lazy: http://www.amazon.com/Come-Back-Indoor-Outdoor-Doormat/dp/B00020O572/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395708099&sr=8-1&keywords=come+back+with+a+warrant+doormat

Someone poured a whole bottle of this https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW into the air ducts. The entire school stank for the rest of the month. It started to precipitate in the lockers.

The giant panda is actually the most dangerous bear in the world, because it eats, shoots & leaves.

well, yea, except my co-workers keep trying to kill me.

^I'll ^show ^myself ^out

^http://www.amazon.com/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Tolerance-Punctuation/dp/1592402038

so I suppose you would hate living with someone that owns THIS

You can get the Star Wars sun shield I have one in my car!

I have this keyboard because my daughter managed to spill something nasty on my last one and killed it. I decided (when I found this one for cheaper at the time) to try it and she hasn't managed to kill it even though water, soda, and sweet and sour sauce have all made it on to my keyboard.

FWIW, everyone is different. I quit 4 years ago and it seems bizarre to me that I smoked 30 cigarettes a day for 20 years. And I fucking loved smoking. But now it seems like that was something someone else did, not me. I have zero interest in it and no cravings.

As stupid as the title might be this book really did work. I scoffed at it for years while failing to quit multiple times. All it does is lay out like 10-15 different reasons why smoking sucks and then just restates them in different ways. Eventually a couple of them will resonate with you and give your brain something to latch onto. Don't get me wrong, it's still going to hurt, but it's only going to hurt for like 2 weeks during the physical withdrawal. After that, at least for me, the closest I ever got to another cigarette is that sometimes I wanted to want to smoke. I didn't actually want to smoke, I just had some nostalgia for that time.