(Part 3) Best health books for children according to redditors

Don't do anything investigatory. Nothing that could make someone accuse you of putting words in her mouth.

I would read a book like this with her (esp. the part about some secrets shouldn't be kept) and then brainstorm a list of trusted adults with her that she could tell if anyone ever violated her boundaries, and make sure she knows you are available. Teachers, Dad, school counselor, etc. Also mention that if a kid tells someone and the grownup doesn't do anything, or shuts her down, tell someone else. (Grownups sometimes don't know what to do, but most do, make it about a grownup making a mistake, in case she has told mom and mom rejected.) Don't push- she might need to work up courage or process new info if someone has been grooming her.

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Dad could do this, too.

Your gut instincts are usually right when it comes to stuff like this. I think she is definitely a pedophile and definitely a threat. Is your SIL worried about what happened? Because she should be. Can you talk to her about it?

Here is a link to a good article about teaching kids about good touch/bad touch: http://b-inspiredmama.com/10-tips-for-teaching-kids-about-good/

And the book (Check out the "Customers also bought" section for others if this one isn't your style):
http://www.amazon.com/Bobby-Mandees-Good-Touch-Bad/dp/1935274546

You can call CPS on your SILs behalf, and they can make your MIL move out...but your SIL and BIL would have to put her out of the house immediately, and there is a chance the kids would be removed into foster care until an investigation could be completed no matter what they do. I know that's a scary thing, so I would recommend talking to your SIL and asking how she feels about what her son has said and letting her know you will support her if she wants to stand up to MIL, but that whatever happens, MIL MUST be put out of the house, immediately. Hopefully she will be concerned enough about her kids that she will listen. She is MIL's daughter? If she won't listen, talk to her husband and appeal to him. If they both don't listen, their kids could always tell a teacher or someone at school, and they are mandated reporters (hint hint). Meanwhile, you're also probably right about your own husband not wanting to deal with past trauma. The only thing I know to do for that is therapy, if you can get him to go. It's such a delicate issue, though, so I will defer to others who may have more knowledge about how to handle that.

Teach her something to do instead - maybe a high five or fist bump, most people won't object to that. Or kissing on the cheek for family members. Then be consistent about redirecting her when she goes in for a kiss on the lips.

Also probably not a bad idea to teach her about consent in general - it's not okay to touch anyone (kiss them, hug them, etc) without their permission. If she wants to go around asking everyone "May I kiss you on the lips?" and being turned down, at least that's better than just doing it out of the blue. You might try reading a book with her like Miles is the Boss of His Body that emphasizes we are each the "boss" of our own body and can always say no to having our body touched in any way (which is obviously a good lesson to learn for other reasons too).

If you’re working with young or special needs kids I’ve found this book to be an awesome resource for teaching about lockdown safety. I can be a superhero during a lockdown

I was diagnosed at three! At the start of each school year the class would have a sit down up talk about my diabetes the teacher would educate the kids (some teachers would even test themselves to show the kids)! We would also usually read the book taking diabetes to school (https://www.amazon.ca/Taking-Diabetes-School-Kim-Gosselin/dp/1891383280) or even little kids get diabetes (https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/product/9780807521595-item.html?s_campaign=goo-Shopping_All_Products_RLSA&ds_rl=1254699&ds_rl=1254699&ds_rl=1254699&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIovy894TH3gIVDbazCh1pVQW7EAQYASABEgIjB_D_BwE) ! This was usually super helpful and also a good way to make it an educational opportunity for everyone!

I remember my first day of school I ate my lunch snack at recess and from then in out my mom put stickers to identify to me what I could eat when !

>I had this whole thing planned. I was going to get her the book, "Our Bodies, Ourselves", buy her some feminine products, some chocolate, and just be as open and supportive as possible

You can still do these things! Maybe choose a book more suited to reading level, but they are out there.

I was trying to find my favorite kid book on menstruation and I THINK this is the one -- but maybe check it out at a library first. As I remember it was really easy for me to "get" without feeling gross and shamed.

You sound like a fantastic mom. I think as long as you are a parent that she can come to (maybe with encouragement) when she's hurt, confused, or cranky, you should be great.

Maybe approaching this as perfectly natural would bring you closer together? Since she is quite young, maybe start with just a general book about bodies developing? You can work your way up to the more complicated stuff. Don't freak out about this, as that might make her believe it's unnatural and wrong -- as a young child, she's probably only going to have a really basic understanding of what's going on. Answer her questions, but don't make her afraid of what might be lurking in her chest/privates. If she's not ready to talk about any of this stuff, tell her that's ok, but make sure she has access to books and that whenever she wants she can change her mind.

Don't put the cart before the horse, but once the horse is ready, don't spook the horse with a scary fucking cart full of misery and periods!

Also -- if your sister had to point them out, are you sure it's not possibly a little lingering baby fat? It may have been early and I didn't notice, but I think I was like I was maybe 10 when I started "developing breasts" -- but it's not like they ballooned over night. I want to say it wasn't noticeable until high school. I was ashamed of them, of course, but my mom let me wear what I wanted -- if she favors baggy clothes or tighter shirts, (or better yet -- feel fabulous in any outfit!) all you need to do is support her and frequently remind her that you two can talk about anything.

If someone bullies her, makes her feel like a "freak", let her know that you can handle the problem, in a way that will not draw attention to the situation, especially if she's a shy girl. Don't demand she wear a bra and be an expert on menses. You buy her clothes, so if she's not ready for the undershirts, maybe try to find materials that are a little less clingy, or buy larger sizes because she's growing into such a lady! The idea of a regimented, rule-based approach to this might make her feel overwhelmed. Just give her the information and resources she needs :)

Curious -- have you noticed any other pre pubescent signs? (Hair under there, body odor, etc?)

TL;DR: You'll be fine. Don't give her any information she isn't ready for or doesn't ask for. Don't talk about it in terms of HAVING to do stuff -- wear bras and what to do when it happens.

I read "Oh Crap! Potty Training". The author's recommendation is to not start until they are at least 20months and can sing their ABCs. My kid was speech delayed at that age and definitely couldn't sing her ABCs (and still can't, at 2.5yrs), but we dove in right at 20m and she trained super easily compared to most of my friends' kids, even training for naps and nights. It took us like 2w to get to where I felt like I could leave the house without accidents. And she learned to say "pee pee" when she had to use the bathroom, so that was a plus.

My second born will be 20m in 1 week and I can't decide if I want to dive in and go through 2 weeks of potty training accidents to get the sweetness of never needing diapers again. It's a tough call to make!

Anyways, we used the little separate training potty at first, so that she could put herself on her potty and go pee, and then eventually moved up to setting her on the toilet with an insert which was necessary for using the restroom during outings. By the time I potty trained her, she was also sleeping in a big kid bed already which was super helpful.. I would sit her little potty on a waterproof mat on her floor and if she woke up from her nap, she could quickly sit herself on her potty before I could even get in there. She rarely had accidents in bed.

We read a lot of books about toilets... "Everybody Poops", "Potty Time", and "Once Upon a Potty". Some other books I liked were "Diapers are Not Forever", "Potty", and "Let's Go Potty, Elmo!".

Have you ever heard about "Grossology"? They did a exhibit at the Seattle Science Center a few years back and I think there's books out there on these disgusting sort of fact. http://www.amazon.com/Grossology-Sylvia-Branzei/dp/0843149140 It's all about "Impolite" science, but if it gets him interested.. why not?

There's a really good book that I've been reading with my kids (10M & 5M) called Fat Head Kids: Stuff I Wish I Knew About Diet & Nutrition When I Was Your Age. It really breaks down nutrition into kid terms and explains why we need to eat healthy things to take care of our bodies. It actually taught me quite a bit I didn't know. So far it's helped explain things to both my kids as to why my 5 year old needs to eat more (he's underweight) and why my 10 year old needs to eat less snacks & make healthier choices (he's beginning to gain a little too much weight). Here's a link to the book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Fat-Head-Kids-Stuff-Health/dp/0998673404

I just found out not too long ago that my 70+ year old conservative grandma loves South Park, and always has. Blew my mind... The only other fan in my entire family is my grandma of all people.

Same grandma who bought me Grossology when I was little and earned the ire of my parents. http://www.amazon.com/Grossology-Sylvia-Branzei/dp/0843149140

A lot of great suggestions in this thread!

Something that I haven't seen mentioned yet is that it's really crucial that you talk to your daughter about healthy sexuality at this point. Here's a few books that I quickly found on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/S-E-X-All-You-Need---Know-Progressive-Sexuality/dp/1600940102/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406694544&sr=1-9

http://www.amazon.com/Being-Teen-Everything-Relationships-Identity/dp/0812978617/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406694706&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Teens-Uncensored-Guide-Safety/dp/0981973329/ref=sr_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406694745&sr=1-15

http://www.amazon.com/Questions-Youd-Never-Your-Parents/dp/1596438681/ref=sr_1_28?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406694780&sr=1-28

http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Guide-Life-Growing-Fabulous/dp/1400315948/ref=sr_1_31?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406694813&sr=1-31

I think it's curiosity, though definitely crosses personal boundaries.

Have you discussed asking permission?

Maybe get a book for children about our bodies.

And these books may be helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Body-Uncomfortable-Childrens-prevention/dp/0943990033

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Belongs-Cornelia-Maude-Spelman/dp/0807594733

http://www.amazon.com/Personal-Space-Camp-Julia-Cook/dp/1931636877

http://www.amazon.com/Bobby-Mandees-Good-Touch-Bad/dp/1935274546

There are others on Amazon.

I just really don't know what else to say.

My kid likes daniel tiger, so we got him this Daniel Tiger Potty Book. He seems to like it.

Also, daniel tiger is streaming on amazon prime if you want the real potty episode.

First, I would like to ask if you have gotten over the "it's not fair, she's never going to be normal" part? That's not accusatory, it's a serious question because a big part of what helped me start to accept the diagnosis at age 9 was the fact that my parents seemed to accept it and treat me as if nothing had changed (other than the medication and doctors visits). I remember distinctly leaving the hospital after my first EEG and crying because I thought I had this horrible disease but my dad calmly explained to me that I just had a quirk in my brain and that everyone has a quirk with something. This calmed me down and though I didn't accept everything right away it certainly put me on the path to acceptance.

Now, you might already be beyond the accepting part in which case you can tell your daughter that 2/3 of all kids with epilepsy grow out of it by their teens and that even if she doesn't, it sounds like her epilepsy is well controlled and she will be able to live a relatively normal happy life.

I looked for some books online and found these: What If They Knew, Julia, Mungo, and the Earthquake, and Becky the Brave. Books helped me as a child too so even if you can't find any that you think she would like about epilepsy go ahead and get books on any subject for her.

I'm not sure what conversations you've already had with her but make sure that she knows that all her feelings are completely normal - it sucks, it's not fair, and seizures can be scary but that you love her and will always be there if she would like to talk about it. Even if you've already expressed that or you think she knows, it's still a good thing to hear and can be a comfort in itself. Take care and good luck!

online resources:

http://www.beinggirl.com/my-period/first-period/

http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/girlstuff/period_school.html

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Girls-About-Periods-Growing-Up-Stuff/dp/0340878282

http://www.amazon.com/Period-Girls-Guide-JoAnn-Loulan/dp/0916773965

http://www.celebrategirls.com/books.htm

also, expect her laundry to be kinda messy. its hard to figure everything out at first, and it may take awhile (years, sometimes) to really get a handle on how messy it can be. sheets are going to have stains on them, her underwear, pants, etc. the longer the stain sits, the harder it is to get out. I suggest getting a few black pairs of underwear for her that she can wear during that time. stains wont show up. the laundry thing can be very embarrassing. If she doesnt already do her own laundry i suggest that you teach her.

try posting this to female centric sub-reddits, such as, r/women, or r/twoxchromosomes.

I have heard great things about this book (and that all parents and tweens/teens need to read it): https://www.amazon.com/Being-Teen-Everything-Relationships-Identity/dp/0812978617/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1501688460&sr=8-3&keywords=jane+fonda+books

I Can Handle It by Laurie Wright

Listening to My Body: A guide to helping kids understand the connection between their sensations (what the heck are those?) and feelings so that they can get better at figuring out what they need. by Gabi Garcia

Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere by Kira Willey

Edit to add a French book: Léon et les émotions by Annie Groovie!

Is it What Would You Do?

Here are some of my favorite books that deal with children who have diabetes/work for that age group: #1, #2, and #3.

In terms of snacks, I recommend talking to the parents either via phone, email, or in person. Each child is different, and their dietary needs are very personalized.

Maybe give her a book like this one to read. Try to get her out of the house(like, take walks together for chatting purposes, added bonus of helping with period pain) when she's on her period- is she uncomfortable with the period itself, or the accompanying bloating, fatigue and/or cramping? An emergency "feel better" kit of water bottle, snack bar(protein bars tend to be helpful), ibuprofen or midol and some iron supplements(chocolate optional). Letting her know that most women go through this -every month- may help. Maybe get her a little day planner and some stickers to track her periods when they happen so she can work out next potential period to feel more confident about it without being overt about her "period planner". You can get free apps that do the same thing, but it's nice to have a paper copy, and it gets you in the habit of day planning.

A friends mom did this, I was so ridiculously jealous when I found out about her "emergency stash" of feel better stuff. When I started getting regular periods my mom said "And? Want a gold star?" Feel the love.

Sorry was lazy yesterday about linking from my phone. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0764152319 this is the one we have. Here is the boy one (havent read it, assume its basically the same) http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0764152327

For anatomical stuff I recommend Amazing you (my daughter is thrilled that she has egg parts haha) http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0142410586

I forgot to mention one other thing - we wrote a letter and presented it to the class each year at school so the kids would know about our daughter's seizures. It was amazing to see the response from little kids - very supportive, and it helped them understand what was happening so they weren't afraid of the seizure. We also bought the book Becky the Brave which was read in class by the teacher.
I can post a copy of our letter if you're interested in seeing what we said in it.

I used to work as a page in the children's department of a library. I would read picture books when I got bored.

Robert Munsch is a fantastic children's author. He's absolutely hilarious and his stories have good messages, too. When I was little, I especially loved Moira's Birthday and Stephanie's Ponytail. My mom read these to me when I was a kid, and they're still great almost 20 years later.

Rainy Morning is another really fun, silly story for kids. It's about an old couple who keep inviting animals (and eventually people and circuses!) in to their house because it's raining outside. Lots of fun.

On a more serious note, Lost and Found is a really sweet story. It's about a boy and a penguin, and friendship. It's cute and the art is fun, too.

Eric the Math Bear was a particular favorite among all the pages, because it's so darn cute. It's about a red bear who likes math, so if you're looking for some numbers with your words this is the way to go.

Maxwell Eaton has several books that are great for kids, my favorite of which is The Mystery. The artwork is really adorable and the stories are lighthearted and fun.

Regardless of which books you wind up choosing, make sure they are appropriate for your audience in terms of length and complexity. The Max and Piggy books are far simpler than the Robert Munsch ones, so younger children might not be able to follow Munsch or others like him. If you have a wide variety of ages, try to include books at multiple levels so everyone has something to enjoy.

Also, don't forget to practice reading the books aloud before you go to story time. Read with lots of expression; young kids may not pick up nuances in the text, and having an animated storyteller is more fun, anyway.

Could it have been What Would You Do? https://www.amazon.com/What-Would-You-Linda-Schwartz/dp/0881601969

I had this book, and as I recall, each scenario was illustrated and it covered not just dangerous situations but also things like getting your period at school or not having enough lunch money.

my almost 4 year old had his first accident today. he's been in undies during the day for about a month, maybe a little longer. he's also ASD, high functioning/level I whatever term is PC this month, biggest challenge is language and communication.

2 things made a HUGE difference when we got serious about starting to potty train. Daniel Tiger and Elmo.

if you're kid watches either, they both have potty episodes or segments, there's even a game for the tablet with Daniel Tiger specifically for the potty.

we got this book and this one ( this one was his favorite) as well as this coloring and activity book we tried the chart with stickers, but it didn't really make that big of an impact, but he liked coloring and I think just seeing the characters and potty activities helped.

the other thing that helped was day care. over the summer we had him in day care half a day 2 days a week, just to keep up the social piece he was missing with no school. they sat them about every hour, he saw other kids going, and I think that made a big difference in his desire to WANT to use the potty.

we didn't do rewards, just lots of praise and clapping, making a big deal, sometimes we'd offer watching a show or other preferred activity. it worked. he script, so a lot of his communication is in the form of repeating shows or movies or songs. so we'd hear him script Daniel tiger's potty song, and we took that as our queue to get him to the potty.

he's getting better about going independently, but we still have a long way to go. and he still needs help with clothes.


my biggest advice is to not rush, which it doesn't sound like you're doing, I think us waiting until he was ready made all the difference.


good luck mama! keep us posted!

We had a copy of this floating around the house ever since I was too young to read and I could only understand the pictures. I think my parents bought it for my older brother when my mom was pregnant with me, so we had it forever. Looking at the URL, I realize I linked to the african-american edition, which isn't the one we had but I'm sure it's the exact same.
My mom is Dutch, and she was super open about sex (my parents got divorced when I was like 9 so she's the only one who talked to me about it). And then when I was maybe 11 or 12, my older brother borrowed a porn VHS tape (haha I'm old) from a friend and all the neighborhood kids watched it one Saturday. Before I saw porn I understood sex, but not the mechanics of it, so I didn't really understand the position the woman had to be in - I thought that the man and woman just laid in bed like normal, i.e. with their legs together, and so I thought my vagina was positioned incorrectly. But after I saw watched the porn I felt much better about it.

More low carb than keto but still in the realm.

https://www.amazon.com/Fat-Head-Kids-Stuff-Health/dp/0998673404

Reminded me of this

We had these in our 2nd-5th grade classrooms. There are a few different books by the same guy. It was a "humanist" (a la Vonnegut) school.

Humanism's all about reason, and it's irrational that our bodies and sex are evil and shameful and should be hidden from children. So they kept these on the shelf with the other books, that is when they weren't checked out. Which was usually.

And now I remember my 4th grade science teacher putting a condom on a broom...

Of course, modern kids get their own stuff

I borrowed this from our local library and used it as a guide

Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501122983/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_J9eFybACN09E1

And I read this book to her about a week before Day 1 of training

Potty Book for Girls, The https://www.amazon.com/dp/0764152319/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_H-eFybXQC3YPM

We started on a long weekend (Saturday to Monday) and she went back to daycare in undies with only about 2 accidents that week.

We still haven't night trained though.

Yeah...it reminded me of my potty training book!

EDIT: THIS ONE!

Pineapple.
http://www.amazon.com/Unplugged-Play-Batteries-Plugs-ebook/dp/B00BUA90Q4/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=11JCBQ5YTFLUU&coliid=I3OFTLTH6Z2BMX

Unplugged Play: No Batteries. No Plugs. Pure Fun and also I hear if I cut my hair, Hawaii will sink and then where will all the girls in bikinis go?

I associate the name Prudence with going to the potty, surely I'm not the only one with a daughter...

It seems silly, but I was ten, and my mom took me out to dinner and let me ask her any questions that I had. That helped reassure me. She gave me The Care and Keeping of you, which /u/prettylittlefox already linked, and The Period Book was helpful too.

NTA

My kids (white with straight hair) also hated hair brushes.

This is not much of a racial thing (afaik) but a good mom enjoying a think with her kids. Keep up the good work.

Brushing sucks (painful and annoying) for many kids, and for that reason alone I taught my kids to do their own hair if they didn't want adults meddling with it. This is a great book for kids BTW.

Every parent will have people who want to intrude with their opinions on your difficult choices as a parent.

Ignore the jerks.

Yay! It does sound like you're on the right track. Here's a link to a kids' book you might find useful, and there may be others shown on the same page that are along the same lines:

https://www.amazon.com/Miles-Boss-His-Body-Safety/dp/0989407136

Oh, one other thing that helped us with the whole "no, I don't have to go because I want to keep playing oh wait I just shit my pants" thing: if she likes a particular show see if they have a potty training episode or book. Ours loves Daniel tiger and there's a petty good potty training episode and we got the board book that they made out of it. That goofy song helped my daughter a bunch.

And bribes don't have to be treats. We users food coloring to color the water when my daughter pooped and she thought that was the coolest thing ever.

My daughter really liked this one: http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Girls-Alyssa-Satin-Capucilli/dp/0764152319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396150916&sr=8-1&keywords=potty+training+book+for+girls+Hannah. Potty Book for Girls. THe main character's name is Hannah.

I think this is the boy's version: http://www.amazon.com/The-Potty-Book-For-Boys/dp/0764152327/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396150940&sr=8-1&keywords=potty+training+book+for+boys.

We didn't start our kiddo on potty training until she was almost 3 so she was really into the whole "being just like Hannah" thing. Potty training is my lease favorite milestone to accomplish. At least she hasn't shit in her underwaer in a while so hopefully we're past that now!

NTA for being creeped out. You have EVERY RIGHT to be creeped out about that.

I dont want to really say you are TA about how you handled your daughter with this interaction but there isnt really another choice for this sub. I'm not going to sit here and bash you - as a mom of a daughter too we need to build each other up and learn from our mistakes. Looking from the outside in this situation its easy to look back and judge, but I think if/when this happens in the future you should rehearse a few things so you stand up for yourself and show your daughter a more appropriate response. Women have been made to feel as though we need to be polite and not make waves when we feel uncomfortable, especially in public. And unfortunately we pass those feelings to our kids. However, this interaction taught her that she needs to acknowledge compliments by people she doesn't know or want to engage with. It's equivalent to a man telling a woman that "she would be prettier if she smiled for him" or something like that.

When he offered the cake to her and told her not tell you, it can be hard to speak up because you don't want to make a scene that could upset your daughter ("we didn't want this cake, thank you though" "but mama I want cake!!") And how do you explain in the moment to her what is going on?

The cake interaction is a great way to talk to your daughter about not ever keeping secrets from you when a stranger (or even a family member) tells her to. That can set her up to not speak up if she is made to feel uncomfortable. Maybe I'm too overprotective of my own daughter but if some stranger acted that way to her I would have pulled him aside and let him know that I didnt appreciate that (not aggressively, but just in a "hey thanks for the cake, but we are teaching her not to keep secrets, and I didnt really like how you said that to her. Maybe in the future dont do that unless you get permission from the parents, k?)

I would absolutely call the restaurant and let them know about the interaction you had with the waiter because it was inappropriate. People are saying hes harmless, and maybe he is, but times change and things like that just shouldn't happen any more.

There are a ton of great kids books you can find too that address how to handle situations like this in the future and have been mentioned on blogs. One I have that I really like is this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Body-What-Say-Goes-relationships/dp/1925089266/ref=zg_bs_3242_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3HSHPSGC4JP1Q1YN8VKK

Hang in there momma :)