(Part 3) Best stress management books according to redditors
We found 1,592 Reddit comments discussing the best stress management books. We ranked the 275 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 41-60. You can also go back to the previous section.
I want to go beyond saying "You behaved reasonably" to say that you did EXACTLY the right thing, at the right time, in the right way. The book The Unthinkable: Who Survives when Disaster Strikes and Why by Amanda Ripley makes a compelling case that the people who survive are the ones who GTFO immediately and decisively, without worrying that they might be overreacting or looking silly.
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You had no way to know this was a false alarm, and I want to compliment you on your superb reaction. I'm sorry this happened to you, but you should be proud of how you handled it.
Cute!
Was curious where it was from, looks to be a book called Paint by sticker, https://www.amazon.com/Paint-Sticker-Create-Masterpieces-Time/dp/0761187235/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518416422&sr=8-1&keywords=paint+by+sticker
There's not really enough information on this post to give you an answer.
Does it happen immediately? How far /long do you have to run before you get it? Does it happen with other exercise?
Depending on those answers, it could be different things.
One thing that is reasonably common amongst people who have been through a stressful time is an inappropriate cortisol response. This is basically your 'fight or flight' response kicking in. It happens a lot amongst combat vets - Their heart rate goes up, so their body things they are in a stressful place and triggers their stress/anxiety response
The first thing I would suggest is training at a lower intensity and work up. Wear a heart rate monitor and see if a particular level triggers it. It may be that you have to walk before you run, so to speak.
Also, try and exercise in nature (if you feel comfortable there). This has scientifically proven stress reduction properties.
You may need to find another form of exercise. Walking, Swimming, aqua jogging, ultimate Frisbee (auto correct just suggested ultimate crossbow, lol), rock climbing, crossfit, skipping, rowing, yoga, spin classes, HIIT classes, dog walking, anything you can find that you enjoy and that doesn't spike your anxiety
Also, I highly recommend mindfulness meditation. This is a great science and evidence based book/course on the subject.
I also think this book... The upside of stress would be really good for you. It too is science and evidence based and has some amazing insights into stress and wellbeing
Take it easy out there. Glad you are still with us.
GP
Apparently there's a lot of psychology that goes into the denial of disasters. Your brain doesn't want to challenge the status quo.
There's been an amazing book written about it The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why. It goes over why there's that pause of "this is still all normal? right? the fire's surely part of the show," why people panic and die vs orderly evacuate, why drills and pre-awareness of escape are that fucking important (basically muscle memory, your brain turns off in shock but your body moves you), and just all around a fascinating (and morbid) read.
Emily also wrote a book about stress: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/198481706X/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1566383524&sr=8-2
You can do each muscle group at the same time.
The way I learned it was to tense each area for around 5 seconds and then let go for 10, concentrating on how different it feels between tensed and relaxed.
Lay on your bed. Start from the bottom and work your way up as follows:
Feet - curve your toes up and tense your feet, hold, relax & repeat
Legs - Straighten legs, point toes towards face, hold, relax & repeat
Abdomen - tense stomach muscles as if preparing to be punched, hold, relax & repeat
Back - arch back, hold, relax & repeat
Shoulders/neck - shrug your shoulders, bringing them up and in, press your head back, hold, relax & repeat
Arms - Stretch out your arms and hands, hold, relax & repeat
Face - tense forehead and jaw by lowering your eyebrows and biting, hold, relax & repeat
Whole body - tense entire body (feet, legs, abdomen, back, shoulders, neck, arms and face), hold, relax, repeat.
Some people may feel tense after going through this exercise, in which case you can either repeat the entire thing or just the muscles that are tense (it should be repeated until you feel completely relaxed). Once the exercise is over, you should spend a few minutes relaxing your mind.
Finally, try to practise this routine twice a day until you start to feel relaxed first time.
I learned it from this book: Overcoming Anxiety: A Books on Prescription Title (Overcoming Books) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1849018782/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Sh8tyb3QMZ7W5 which was recommended to me by my GP.
Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management by nick dubin
https://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Anxiety-Successful-Management/dp/184310895X
Shadow Syndromes: The Mild Forms of Major Mental Disorders That Sabotage Us
https://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Syndromes-Mental-Disorders-Sabotage/dp/0553379593
And I'm currently reading 'the autism revolution' which is starting out pretty helpful. The library has got some good stuff. I've been going to several different libraries as their selections vary.
Temple Grandin is a prominent author in the autistic area. She leans heavily on her own experience, is tinged with her viewpoints, but it's good to read about aspergers and all that lot.
It sounds to me like you've developed an anxiety disorder. You can talk to a doctor if you'd like to try anti-anxiety medication. They can help in the short-term. For a more long-term treatment, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the answer. You can talk to a professional therapist about it, or you can try it on your own from a book. (I recommend this one. It can be found on Demonoid, among other places.)
Even if your problems don't stem from anxiety, seeing a doctor or therapist is a good idea, so they can figure out what's going on and give you the proper treatment.
Howdy friend - I've shared this resource a few times around here. I went through about 15 years of anxiety struggles and God really helped me be free through this book. I can honestly say, "I'm free" through this:
Neil Anderson - Freedom from Fear
The book is basically exactly what you're looking for - it's full of verses and has incredibly practical and tangible prayers for casting our anxieties on Christ. It has many testimonies of people going through anxiety disorders and finding freedom through Christ. It gives guidance on when to take medication and which kinds can be effective in which situations.
It's a wonderful book written by a Christian counselor with over 35 years experience. It starts a bit slow but ends powerfully on how trustworthy our God is and how we can rest on Him.
Our bodies evolved the chemical response we call 'stress' to give us the resources we need when we face a challenge. Studies show that accepting this, and leveraging this can help us succeed in physical performance as well as mental performance.
A great book that will change the way you think about stress:
https://www.amazon.com/Upside-Stress-Why-Good-You/dp/1101982934
I've moved on to the adult sticker book...mesmerizing. Paint by Sticker: Create 12 Masterpieces One Sticker at a Time! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761187235/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_nhMLxbJHRZDBM
Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. Good work on kicking your depression!! I'm so glad your attempts didn't work out the way you planned...you really do have a lot to live for.
>I broke up with a great girl 2 years ago because of a sudden peak in confidence and I have not been in love since.
Well of course you haven't...you were battling dragons and fighting for your life. You had more important considerations and romance was not what you needed. And you're still young...20 years old, on the threshold of the world, all that life and potential stretching out in front of you. Don't make an idol out of love...love for love's sake cannot hold a candle to being in love with the right person. You'll meet her.
>I miss my friends,
So call 'em up and ask them if they want to go out for a drink or some pizza or something. You can do it! Odds are good, if you guys were/are close, they'll be happy to see that you are in a better place and will want to spend time with you.
>I miss feeling loved,
Aww, but you probably are loved - family, or friends? Most people have someone who loves them...anxiety and depression can make you feel like nobody does though.
>I miss happiness and most of all I miss not feeling anxious.
Man, I feel you. I realized I had a serious problem with anxiety when it hit me that I haven't really felt like me in a very long time - the young me, the silly goofy one who was happy and bold and not always scared of things. And I missed it. Probably a lot of us here can relate...you're not alone!
> I'm sad that everyone around me gets through life just OK
Ah, but maybe they don't. Maybe they're just good at faking it. I am. People close to me are consistently surprised when I tell them I have anxiety because I've always been good at smiling through all kinds of feelings and keeping things to myself...I'm a pretty private person. It's entirely possible that not everyone around you is sailing through life - it seems like it from your point of view, but I just betcha there are people who are struggling and hurting and relying on all sorts of things to help them get through the day.
>If I woke up one day free of my worries and self-loathing I would live my life to the fullest. But I'm afraid that that day will never be.
Therapy and self-help books can do wonders, especially if you're already on meds. Medicine is awesome and necessary when your anxiety stems from a physical cause, but it's also really helpful to rewire your thinking and the way you react to the thoughts/emotions/physical sensations/scenarios that make your anxiety rear its ugly head. Anxiety is something that you will always feel on occasion; we need it for our own good. The problem is when it's triggered inappropriately...and so much of that can be helped by your thought patterns as well as your meds. Definitely find someone to talk to, if you haven't yet, and look into a workbook. This is the one I'm currently going through, and it's been really helpful so far. I feel like I understand myself and my problems so much better, and I'm only in chapter three or four!
Best of luck...it gets better, but as my doctor explained to me, it isn't easy or quick, and you have to fight. But it's worth it - YOU are worth it - and you can do it!
link drawing
thanks for the neat contest!
I've personally been reading a few and the ones I'd recommend are
I've heard good things about a few others here and there but I've not read them myself. /r/GetMotivated will have some in their sidebar I think. Might also be worth checking out /r/depression and see what they might suggest.
Hope things get better for you. If you want a chat, feel free to PM.
I have a lot of stress in my life and have also used marijuana to self-medicate in the past. It's true that you will find alternatives to coping with your stress once you eliminate pot from your life. The thing to be careful with is that you don't adopt, or increase, unhealthy practices in pot's absence. Self-care should be your primary concern - eating well, sleeping enough, exercising, reducing unnecessary stressors. Of course you can't eliminate stress in your life, you can however change your reaction to it. I've found this book very helpful in that regard. If you're familiar with mindfulness in eastern thought then a lot of it will be familiar. It's just good to soak up a source that's focused on this one particular aspect of life that can impact everything else.
Spiritual practice. Find a tradition that speaks to you and start doing it. The Attention Revolution by Alan B. Wallace is an excellent place to start.
Here's a primer:
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Most people would find their lives greatly enhanced just by attaining stage two of the ten stages. This level of development takes some effort, but it can be achieved by people who are living a busy life with career and family commitments as long as they are willing to set aside some time for meditation. It can dramatically improve the quality of everything you do and make you more resilient in the face of emotional and physical stressors. If that is your goal, there is no problem with using the techniques in this book for that purpose.
>However, as noted above, this book is also a guide for people who wish to go well beyond what are considered normal levels of attention. For most people, achieving stage three will require a greater commitment than an hour or two spent each day in meditation in the midst of an active life. The more advanced stages of attentional development are accessible to people who dedicate themselves to weeks or months of rigorous practice in a conducive environment. Progress beyond the fourth attentional stage requires a vocational commitment to this training, which may involve full-time practice for months or years at a stretch.
>If you traverse the ten stages of attentional development discussed in this book, the benefits are truly immense. Upon reaching the ninth stage, your mind is finely honed, freed from even the subtlest imbalances. At this point, it is said that you can focus effortlessly and unwaveringly upon your chosen object for at least four hours. At the beginning of this training, meditators are traditionally encouraged to practice for sessions of twenty-four minutes, which is one-sixtieth of a full day and night. At the culmination of this training, you should be able to sustain attention with unprecedented clarity for ten times that long.
>According to Tibetan oral tradition, among meditators who are well qualified to embark on this discipline, those of sharpest faculties may be able to achieve all ten stages within three months; those with “medium“ faculties may take six months; and those with “dull“ faculties may require nine months. Such estimates assume that the meditators are living in a contemplative environment and devoting themselves day and night to this disci- pline. The reference to sharp, medium, and dull faculties pertains to the level of talent and attentional balance individuals bring to this training. Just as some people are naturally gifted musicians, athletes, and mathematicians, so are some gifted with exceptional degrees of attentional stability and vivid- ness, which gives them a head start in this practice. Others may have an extraordinary level of enthusiasm and dedication to this training, and that will serve them well through the long months of hard work that it entails.
>This level of professional training may seem daunting and unfeasible to most readers of this book, but compare it to the training of Olympic athletes. Only a small number of individuals have the time, ability, and inclination to devote themselves to such training, which can appear at first glance to have little relevance for the diverse practical problems facing humanity today. But research on serious athletes has yielded many valuable insights concerning diet, exercise, and human motivation that are relevant to the general public. While the training of Olympic athletes is focused primarily on achieving physical excellence, this attentional train- ing is concerned with achieving optimal levels of attentional performance.
>Once the ninth level has been achieved, the meditator is ripe for an extraordinary breakthrough, entailing a radical shift in one’s nervous system and a fundamental shift of consciousness. One is now poised to achieve shamatha: one’s mind is now marvelously serviceable, capable of being used in a myriad of ways, and one’s body also is endowed with an unprecedented degree of suppleness and buoyancy. It is a remarkable achievement, unlike anything one has ever experienced before.
>Since the time of the Buddha, when people have asked Buddhist adepts about the nature of their practice, they have commonly answered, “Come and see!” In 1992, neuroscientists studying the effects of advanced medita- tive practice among Tibetan retreatants explained how they wanted to examine the neural and behavioral effects of meditation. One of the monks responded, “If you really want to understand the effects of meditation, I’ll be glad to teach you. Only through your own firsthand experience will you truly know the effects of such practice.”
>Let’s now begin working on the first stage, using the technique of mind- fulness of breathing.
I can relate to that feeling of vulnerability. I'm so sorry, this sounds tremendously difficult for you.
A possibility might be to listen to, or read about other people's experiences with mental health and abuse. There are many great books out there on the subject. I have to admit that I'm not a big reader, but this one was great for me...
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Depression-Way-Out-Your-Prison/dp/158391286X
That might be a bit heavy to begin with, but some kind of self-help book might help you feel better.
You could also consider something like group therapy. You dont have to speak if you dont want to - just listen to what other people are going through and how they feel. They might offer something like that at your Church.
I have suffered from anxiety for the last few years and I was always opposed to medication because of the effect it had on a close family member, I know that every one is different and maybe medication is the answer for you. I think speaking to a counsellor is a great start, if you don't like the first person you go to find some one who you connect with, that's important.
I would also recommend practicing meditation, it really really helped me, become aware of your thought processes and learn to stop the negative spiral of thoughts. Also try to become aware of the power you give to other people that influences your opinion of yourself and start building your own self worth and inner dialogue.
This book helped me a lot and I'd really recommend
it.
Remember that you can control your thoughts, replace your negative with positive, you can chose how to perceive things, happiness comes from the inside.
I know how you feel sister. I texted a friend and mentor the other day asking for some prayer and he reminded me of the simplicity of Philippians 4:6. I often recite it to myself and proceed to pray in times of anxiety.
>I know that this is a part of what's meant for me.
Also, God's will for you is peace. Don't believe this lie. ^
I've not read it yet but it's written by an author thay I really like called Neil Anderson. He writes one called Victory Over The Darkness: Realize the Power of Your Identity in Christ that I really like but another that's on my wish list may be even better for you. Freedom from Fear: Overcoming Worry and Anxiety
I just listed shows I love haha
my favorite all-time show is probably Six Feet Under or breaking bad...my favorite anything depends on the day/hour/minute
I love this handy keychain for around 10
and this book for managing anxiety
and this zippo lighter because I could put stickers on it :)
thank you for the contest :D I love tv shows a bit too much haha
http://www.amazon.com/The-Stress-Response-Dialectical-Behavior/dp/1608821307
I really recommend this book. Couple of quid second hand. It will change how you see your anxiety. You will get better it’s just difficult to see a way out when your nerves are sensitised. But there is, millions of people do it every year. Chin up OP https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Help-Your-Nerves-overcoming-stress/dp/0722531559#productDescription_secondary_view_div_1521490242353
GROUP THERAPY:
Title: The College Counselor's Guide to Group Psychotherapy
Editors: Michele D. Ribeiro, Josh M. Gross, and Marcee M. Turner
Link: https://www.crcpress.com/The-College-Counselors-Guide-to-Group-Psychotherapy/Ribeiro-Gross-Turner/p/book/9781138681965
Title: Attachment in Group Psychotherapy
Author: Cheri Marmarosh
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Group-Psychotherapy-Cheri-Marmarosh/dp/1433813211
Title: The Interpersonal Neurobiology of Group Psychotherapy and Group Process
Editors: Susan P. Gantt, Bonnie Badenoch
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Interpersonal-Neurobiology-Psychotherapy-International-Analysis/dp/1780491778
SUICIDALITY:
Title: Why people die by suicide
Author: Thomas Joiner
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Why-People-Suicide-Thomas-Joiner/dp/0674025490
BURNOUT / SELF-CARE:
Title: Trauma Stewardship
Author: Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Stewardship-Everyday-Caring-Others/dp/157675944X/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1527694086&sr=1-1
Title: The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It
Author: Kelly McGonigal
Link: https://www.amazon.com/Upside-Stress-Why-Good-You/dp/1101982934/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1527694165&sr=1-1
Author
Check the book The Mood Cure.
The quick notes: Fish oil deficiency has been linked to alcohol addiction.
Glutamine acts like a simpler sugar and helps block alcohol cravings.
No problem at all, it's really interesting hearing your experiences as well, so thank you too!! :)
I've had panic attacks probably from when I was about 7 years old, but each time they're totally different and for a different reason. So I had them for probably a couple of years when I was 7-9/10. I had no idea that's what they were until a few years ago, it popped into my head. This was because I was terrified of the dark, so I'd get them lying in bed at night, hear my heartbeat through my pillow and then have to sit up suddenly sweating and put the light on. Then I was totally fine for years.
Then aged about 18 I started developing a wasp/bee phobia and this escalated over about 4 years to the point where I'd just have to see one and would start hyperventilating and run off and do all kinds of genuinely embarrassing things. I had one session of CBT for this and was able to totally, totally cure this phobia on my own.
Now I'm 30 and have just had this recent panic disorder come on in June this year, as well as having a one-off but very intense panic attack last July when I had too much caffeine.
So, I know I'm someone who has a sensitive fight or flight response, but also that I can recover from these things and go about like normal for a decade or more at a time! :D
Yeah, I also can't just carry on as normal after an attack. It can stay with me for hours, days, or recently a few months of not feeling totally right.
I think it's a good tactic to think of this as a wiring problem in the brain for sure. That's how I intend on trying to treat this. Oh also, I just got this book by Claire Weekes delivered yesterday and am already half way through it. I'm finding it genuinely really really helpful. She describes what we're experiencing very precisely and it's really consolidating my confidence about what this is, as well as describing some really good techniques to use to recover: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0722531559/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE
It's called Self Help for your Nerves if you aren't keen on clicking links. :)
Do you get stressed out often? The body has a stress cycle it goes through when we get stressed. Two of the ways to exit it are to engage in a physical activity, or to cry. I suffer from anxiety and depression and a ton of work stress. Sometimes during my workouts I have to fight back tears because the exercise is just bringing all these feelings to the forefront, and crying is my way of resolving them. Fighting back tears doesn't help. You just gotta let it out somewhere and then go on with your day.
I couldn't find a resource online that explains it but I first heard about it in the book "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski (which is an amazing book every woman should read). It looks like she just came out with a book on the topic of the stress cycle specifically (link).
So, I think most of the free online ones don't seem that great. But the NHS (UK) recommends these two programs: Fear Fighter is for people with phobias or panic attacks; Beating the Blues is for people with mild to moderate depression
and this book to patients which works pretty much how the paid for online courses work I believe, but much cheaper to start and get an idea.
I'm pretty sure if you do some googling you can also find most of the parts of the book as free pdfs online. All these online ones are based around CBT but really it needs that interaction and adaptation to you that only a professional can do, but the self help CBT stuff works well enough for quite a few people and for others it gives them the bump they need to progress to an actual therapist.
Hope it helps anyhow. I'm not a doctor (just as a disclaimer) but I am a researcher in the neuro field (though (again) this isn't my specialty). But if you have any other questions I might be able to help with let me know.
I see a couple of things:
You can tackle this by firstly eating more protein, which are the building blocks of neurotransmitters and help rebuild your stores. Try doubling your intake of protein. Taking an extra protein shake with each of your meals, a cheap way to accomplish this.
Secondly you can take special precursor amino acids in supplement form to help you rebuild stores of specific amino acids much quicker. Examples of these are GABA, 5-HTP, and DL-phenylalanine. These work extremely well for people who are anxious and depressed.
For a full guide on how to do this, I advise you read The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. Here's a link:
https://www.amazon.com/Mood-Cure-4-Step-Program-Emotions-Today-ebook/dp/B000QCTPP8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524561962&sr=8-1&keywords=the+mood+cure
Nutritherapy is a much better and permanent solution to mood problems and depression than taking drugs.
You are better off trying to implement better circadian habits than just taking melatonin. Your brain is perfectly capable of producing melatonin on its own, provided you expose yourself to the right circadian cues during the day, such as daylight exposure, movement, etc. Try going for an hour long walk outside at noon and try to go outside within an hour of waking up. I would also advise you to take up exercise (try short heavy weightlifting workouts 3x/week. Stronglifts 5 x 5 is a good program) This will both help improve your metabolic health and improve your circadian rhythm. Lifting weights has also been proven to improve your mood and fight depression. Exercise at least 4 hours before bed though.
Here's the app to the Stronglifts 5x5 program:
https://stronglifts.com/apps/
Try to implement these things at least
I can go on and on here, but I'll just put a few links here to a few of my blog posts, hopefully they can give you a few more good ideas on how to improve sleep.
http://thesleepstrategy.com/how-to-use-light-to-get-yourself-to-sleep/
http://thesleepstrategy.com/four-punch-combo-knock-insomnia/
I love my inner child! I have a couple coloring books on my artsy wish list. I'm on mobile so I can't link, but I'll do it when I get to a computer!
edit: here it is! http://www.amazon.com/dp/1937994775/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3KT34ALLJN84Z&coliid=I2XXGW7JAHX14N
try listening to the book Retrain your anxious brain
I was having some serious relationship issues that were followed by a complete emotional breakdown when i found this book. I have managed to make progress back due to it. Id say its worth the listen because it helped me stop and slow down. I realized that I can only control myself and it has helped tremendously
This seems perfect. I did a WL search and it's the only thing that came up. <3
Feel free to chat me up as I also suffer from anxiety. <3
Not sure if The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why fits the bill...
Ok so it sounds like looks aren't your strong suit. Working out is a good idea but bottom line - if you're 5'5 you aren't the guy that girls are just going to notice based on looks. Also, shave your head if you haven't already. Then you don't look bald. You look like a guy with a shaved head.
So clearly looks aren't your strongest suit, but your talking and social skills are. By not talking to women and waiting for them to show interest based on your looks, you are keeping your strong suit hidden and relying on your weaker aspect.
Now you might not think you have good social skills except when you are in the zone but here's the truth. Your "zone" is just experiencing a lack of anxiety. What you experience most of the time is social anxiety. That's why you are in your head.
The way you can deal with your anxiety about talking to women is through exposure (talk to lots of women) and read up on how to deal with the anxiety. This book is good: http://www.amazon.com/Control-Your-Anxiety-Before-Controls/dp/0806521368/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
https://www.amazon.com/Adaptogens-Strength-Stamina-Stress-Relief/dp/1594771588
This book can help. It has a lot of great info.
Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:
amazon.com
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amazon.ca
amazon.com.au
amazon.in
amazon.com.mx
amazon.de
amazon.it
amazon.es
amazon.com.br
amazon.nl
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Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
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I hear this brought up a lot but it feels too 'new-agey' and capitalizing on the general lack of understanding proper meditation/mindfulness like most books like this one are. I may be absolutely wrong and perhaps some day I'll give it a go. However, I'd like to recommend three sources that have provided the best perspective to me and helped (still help) me weed out all the wrong conceptions and practices out of my mind:
>When you want to master a meditation technique, it’s good to know the premises underlying the technique. That way you have a clear idea of what you’re getting into. Knowing the premises also helps you understand how and why the technique is supposed to work. If you have doubts about the premises, you can try them on as working hypotheses, to see if they really do help in dealing with the problems of stress and suffering. Meditation doesn’t require that you swear allegiance to anything you can’t fully understand. But it does ask you to give its premises a serious try.
As for 'mindfulness' and its modern face I'd strongly recommend this essay (Beyond McMindfulness) and also reading about "Right Mindfulness" (dhammatalks.org has a lot to say on this topic but I'm pretty sure there are other sources too). The concept has been changed so much from its original meaning so it has lost most of the solid philosphy behind it. Simply "pay attention to the present without judgement" leads to nowhere. Meditation and mindulness have a very specific goal in mind. Everyone's desire to meditate has one very specific goal in mind.
On a side note, I'd really love to explore the difference you talked about between feelings and thoughts in more depth. If you can share what else you have read, I'd appreciate it.
Cheers.
Removed for violating rule #9: you submitted
https://www.amazon.com/Art-Health-Simple-Powerful-Creating-ebook/dp/B014HX40FQ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1511564697&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=the+art+of+health. Please clean up the URL and resubmit only ashttps://www.amazon.com/Art-Health-Simple-Powerful-Creating-ebook/dp/B014HX40FQ/. Thank you!And this doctor is partly right, but again it's so complex that I don't have the time to get into it. The short version is there are so many different types of depression and different causes that medicine doesn't really differentiate against so when they run trials they're really testing like 8 different types of depression without realizing since they lump them all together. Depression can be associated with serotonin which causes low self esteem type thinking, dopamine with equates to a lack of motivation, endorphin which affects your perception of pain, oxytocin which is like heartbreak and social ostracization, or GABA which is basically anxiety.... if you don't distinguish between which TYPE of depression it is, then you run a trial on a serotonin reuptakke inhibitor, then it's only going to work for the people who have serotonin related depression, and it's not going to even work for ALL of them. That's why a lot of trials look like they're not much better than placebo.
The bottom line is that YES antidepressants do suck, but the chemical imbalance model is absolutely absolutely absolutely grounded in empirical fact. Again, read either Julia Ross's work or Loretta Breuning's work. They're two of the leading experts in the area.
http://www.amazon.com/Meet-Your-Happy-Chemicals-Endorphin/dp/1463790929
https://www.amazon.com/Mood-Cure-4-Step-Program-Emotions-Today-ebook/dp/B000QCTPP8?ie=UTF8&amp;ref_=cm_sw_su_dp
You probably aren't manic since the phases usually last longer than a day, but you very likely have at least anxiety, if not depression as well. Anxiety among asperger's sufferers is fairly common since part of the syndrome is a necessity for order, simplicity, and repetition, and obviously life doesn't always work that way. A kid I used to sit for with asperger's got this book for his birthday. Might be worth a read.
Do research, not just reddit, and if you ever doubt the advice or decision of a doctor, get a second opinion. No doctor's word should be taken as the final law- they're human and can only know so much, plus their own biases and judgement will always come into play with their diagnoses. I have a severe neurological disorder in addition to depression, and when I was trying to find a diagnosis for my neurological symptoms that I know didn't fit with my depression symptoms, I was told many ridiculous things from blaming my symptoms on being a woman (and apparently women are usually over stressed) to being allergic to my shampoo.
Doing nothing is a guarantee you're making the problem worse. You may not need medication, but, especially since you are not a "standard teenager" with "standard teenage behaviour" since you have aspergers- so that right away sets you apart from the expected social behavior standards (and I'm not saying that in a negative or disabling way), you are going to experience problems- be they with dating, learning, dressing, etc- that "standard teens" will not understand.
I highly suggest finding a teen Asperger's support group in your area (look on the internet). It's done a world of difference for the boy I used to sit for, not necessarily in teaching him things he didn't know, but in finding like-minded friends who understand and can relate to his specific way of thinking. And it was in this group that he identified his anxiety and getting on the medication Paxil has more or less changed his life.
Hey, sorry I took a while getting back to you. I haven't been on reddit for a while.
It's hard to recommend a single book because Ellis wrote on such a broad range of issues, from dealing with anger, sexual shame, anxiety, depression, relationships, procrastination etc etc.
Probably the best all-rounder book from Ellis is:
A Guide to Rational Living, which can be picked up pretty cheap second hand, and covers:
>1. Overcoming the influences of your past
>2. Refusing to be desperately unhappy
>3. Tackling dire needs for approval
>4. Eradicating dire fears of failure
>5. How to feel undepressed though frustrated
>6. Conquering anxiety
>7. Acquiring self-discipline
amongst other things.
CBT has probably developed techniques and protocols for dealing with eating disorders, so I would highly recommend trying to talk to a school counsellor or check out a local library about that, but for having a mental toolset that will help you with anything, I haven't come across anything better than REBT.
The Myth of Self Esteem and How to Control your Anxiety before It controls you might also be of use.
Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and Overcoming resistance: a rational emotive behavior therapy integrated approach are two of the most recent books from Ellis, though they are more expensive so I'd recommend starting with A Guide to Rational Living, and if it seems worthwhile to you then perhaps the newer books will have some extra insight for you.
There also seems to be a book on REBT specifically about eating disorders called The Art & Science of Rational Eating though I have not read it so I can't speak to its quality. Regardless of the ad-speak on the cover it claims to have specific focus on Bulimia and Anorexia so it may be worth checking out amongst others, but will likely not give you as full a overview of REBT as some of the other books I've mentioned.
How to Control Your Anxiety Be
Try this!
Cheaper than a therapist AND better than nothing. Has worked wonders for many of my friends.
Not a replacement for an actual therapist, though.
Edit: disclaimer
If you have not already seen this, maybe this would be helpful https://www.amazon.com/PTSD-Workbook-Effective-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1608827038
Book nerd, reporting to duty! Some ideas to spice it up:
Christian Living
If you've done much searching in this area, you've doubtless come across Dr. Neil Anderson - and for good reason. Anderson is the best Christian Living author I've encountered. Head of the Practical Theology department at Talbot (same school as MacArthur) for a decade, all of Anderson's teaching and core material has been "approved" by the theology department at Talbot and rooted in real world experience. Anderson specializes in giving practical steps for getting right with God and becoming more like Christ. By far my favorite author in this genre. Some of his books which changed my life the most:
Theology
Evangelism
A few years ago, I came across a list of the top 50 books which have shaped Evangelicals. I saw a book that interested me: Power Evangelism by John Wimber.
I'm honestly not sure, you might be a better judge than I am.
On reflection, I'd rather err on your side; so many self-help books are so trite and shit and harmful that I'd often rather damn the whole lot of them than try to salvage the good.
As much as I'd love to nominate my kids, I think I'd rather choose this from off of the wishlist of /u/wovenweb as suffering from anxiety issues really sucks.
Edit: share the love
I went on a "shopping spree" and spent like $40 at two thrift stores to get some new summer clothes. I buy mostly used clothing, so it tends to wear out a bit faster. When I'm done with a piece, depending on the shape it's in, I'll either re-donate it, throw it away, or re-purpose it into something else.
I also bought a paint-by-sticker book ($10) because I've been wanting one for a while and I love stickers.
Oh and I bought the entire series of The Cosby Show on DVD ($30) which I've also been wanting for a while. Slowly working on accumulating DVDs of all my favorite shows that I like to watch over and over. I want to then rip them onto my computer for more convenient access.
Most of my extra money is spent on food. I really need to cut down.
Checkout Emily Nagoski’s new book Burnout
Oops, here's the link:
https://www.amazon.com/Art-Health-Simple-Powerful-Creating-ebook/dp/B014HX40FQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1500699966&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=the+art+of+health
I'm not a professional but your current situation is a perfect example of the type of situation in which someone begins to experience anxiety and panic attacks, well done for identifying it yourself - that's half the battle won.
I would recommend that before meditating or listening to recordings, you first learn to recognise and alter the physiological conditions that lead to a panic attack, most people for example don't realise just how quickly they are breathing before a panic attack comes on. You need to understand things like the impact of "safety behaviours" and "avoidance" on how anxious you feel, it's good to know what you might be doing to encourage the symptoms so that you can stop doing those things. Meditation will be very helpful when you understand this, but before then I can't see it helping too much.
This book is a good start for understanding that side of things: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Understanding-Panic-Attacks-Overcoming-Fear/dp/0745955452/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=understanding+panic+attacks&qid=1567412709&s=gateway&sr=8-1
IMO the next key thing to understand is that to "fight" anxiety you have to do the exact opposite, give in, don't struggle. If you feel a wave of anxiety the key is to let it wash over you and to loosen every muscle in your body as much as possible, any activity to remove or fight the anxiety only confirms to your brain that you are in danger and encourages it to release more panic inducing hormones. If your brain signals to you that there is a threat, and you do absolutely nothing about that threat, and in fact stay still, breathe steadily and loosen your body - the waves may continue to come but they will subside eventually as it becomes clear to your brain that the hormones it is releasing are unwarranted - though for this to work you really need to believe that what I'm saying is true.
If you want to understand more about this approach then Claire Weekes is your go to author, her writings are quite old now so some of what she says is a little outdated, but her basic four step approach to overcoming anxiety is the most helpful thing I ever read. She is talking directly to those at the most severe end of the panic spectrum but the same treatment still applies to those who are just beginning to experience panic attacks, the earlier on in the process that you come to this the better!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Self-Help-Your-Nerves-overcoming-stress/dp/0722531559/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=self+help+for+your+nerves&qid=1567413327&s=gateway&sr=8-1
Hope this helps - if you aren't the type to buy and read self help books then just google around for panic attacks and breathing exercises, and the Claire Weekes method.
And yes do seek therapy if it's accessible to you, but don't think that you can't learn about this and help yourself in the meantime!
Hey, I'm really sorry that I took so long to reply, I just kept overthinking my reply, so I'm just gonna do it
So actually the book is on anxiety and stress management, and it holds so much information throughout the book about how our minds are wired. Throughout it you gain more and more understanding of how you work and it really does help to have that level of awareness. I mean it's invaluable to gain such a comprehension of inner workings, in fact it works towards a mastery of yourself. That's what I got from the book but it also helped me realize to seek that kind of understanding in whatever I happen to be looking for or struggling with.
Boundaries, however, I got from a man named John Bradshaw, I happen to have had access to some of his lectures which are all amazing and fantastic, but that helped me to see that I completely had things undeveloped in that respect. That's the kicker there as well, it's undeveloped.
On assertiveness, a lot of that were people saying that I was too nice, well, specifically my mother telling me that I was too nice, and I'm super happy she said that because that really opened my eyes. Down the line, Jordan B Peterson's lectures on YouTube helped greatly with countless things, and also assertiveness.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family and dealing with enmeshment, unhealthy relationships, not being able to tell yourself from a stranger, etc. Identity has always been an issue, and in many ways I've known it needed to be developed but, like for all of these things, there's always a catalyst, you know that. Anyways, looking into the subreddit for OCD and the description there really spelled it out for me in a way I hadn't considered before.
Yeah those burnouts man, and starting over, I think it's often because it's hard to move onward and outward from a pattern, especially a pattern of thinking. You're often met with depression at those moments, and one of the reasons you feel depression is because it feels like you didn't learn anything. So maybe one question is, how do you go about life and also learn from it?
I'm sorry that this all seems so all over that place and that it's also probably quite subjective to me, but another thing I've noticed is that life is a dream, and you've got to interpret it for yourself, to me that is significant to understanding yourself
There are multiple things that I do that help with my anxiety, one thing I do that you probably do too is going to my doc often. That helps! :P
Here is my favorite kitten video! :p
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNi8bK1TTX8
If you're into self-help workbooks, there's quite a few on Amazon. This one here might be okay :
https://www.amazon.com/Anti-Anxiety-Workbook-Strategies-Obsessions-Self-Help/dp/1593859937/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1480810395&amp;sr=8-2&amp;keywords=anti-anxiety+book
If I could suggest a resource that's greatly helped me. This book is written by Christian counselors and give good advice for finding freedom in a number of disorders:
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Fear-Overcoming-Worry-Anxiety/dp/0736900721/
For the anxiety you can get books on cognitive behavioural therapy. That shit works. It's not like talk therapy, it's more training yourself to pay more attention to the good things and not dwell on the bad things. You can do that yourself.
I don't have the answers to your situation but try fixing the things you can control and it might help you cope with the things you can't control. Anxiety is one thing you can make progress on just by reading a book and putting the things you learn there into practice.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1849018782/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?qid=1415283237&amp;sr=8-6&amp;pi=AC_SX110_SY165
In 2015 I look forward to finishing my PhD thesis!
Thanks for making me write it down too. It's like positive reinforcement saying this to myself! I will do it. I will!
I will start calmly too! :
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/1937994775/ref=aw_wl_ov_dp_2_15?colid=107SKC6BEWX7I&amp;coliid=I16OUOA62C603L
I used the one by Mary Beth Williams (older version of this one). I can certainly relate with your brain scaring you. Would exposure therapy help at all? I also found EMDR helpful at breaking up the memory chains and, as my counselor said it "sucked the venom out of the memories". Feel free to PM me anytime, and take care.
Here is the mobile version of your link
Maybe check out some of these books which could help her work through the process that is provided in therapy in a self-guided way. What I would recommend is that she set aside an hour or two a week to devote to this to keep herself consistent, but not overwhelmed by over-reading:
the sexual healing journey
overcome trauma and ptsd
the PTSD workbook
the PTSD sourcebook
Then these are not workbooks - but might help provide her insight and healing:
quest for respect
resurrection after rape
A lot of the need for validation, as I've experienced it, was actually just a manifestation of anxiety. Of self-doubt about not being good enough.
To that effect I would strongly, strongly encourage you either purchase, read and do everything recommended in When Panic Attacks by David Burns or go to see a mental health professional who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
hey, i've been there. this book and perhaps a cognitive behavioural therapist is a great combo:
https://www.amazon.ca/Anti-Anxiety-Workbook-Strategies-Overcome-Obsessions/dp/1593859937/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1521741448&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=the+anti+anxiety+workbook
Schizandra chinensis (5-taste-berry) is clinically effective for overcoming addiction - yes, this is referenced via one of my favorite books:
http://www.amazon.com/Adaptogens-Strength-Stamina-Stress-Relief/dp/1594771588
This is also one of my favorites as an adaptogen for women and older folks with immune issues. Coming off of a nervous stimulant like nicotine can lead to depressed immune function -- which is unfortunate, because you're gonna need immunity for the purging about to take place -- and any former smoker will tell ya that the stress is what makes cigarettes irresistable.
I've also heard the 5THP is a wonderful adjunct therapy for angry and deprived nervous receptors.
Yeah, you need to try to increase the effort to keep the chatter away; you have to play it by ear though, because too much effort at focusing on the breath can increase the thoughts. Basically, really try hard to keep thoughts away, but if you notice that they're increasing, back off of the effort.
EDIT: I don't know how people feel about recommending books, but I found this book to be really helpful navigating the subtle application of energy during shamatha.