(Part 2) Best anxiety & phobia books according to redditors
We found 807 Reddit comments discussing the best anxiety & phobia books. We ranked the 116 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.
31. The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears
3 mentions
Yes. Facebook is totally not a natural everyday representation of people's lives. Dude, OP, people watching your Facebook are probably jealous out of their minds right now. I mean you got a good career and you live in a hipster city. I'm personally jelly.
Also, this book may very well be what you're looking for
> Can you guys gently explain to her because I'm going to show her your comments why this is not acceptable for anyone?
That's not going to work.
Remember: hoarding is either a mental disorder, or a symptom of a mental disorder. That means that it's not rational, the behaviors aren't rational, and the thinking underlying the behaviors aren't rational. And you cannot rationalize someone out of a belief or position that she didn't rationalize her way into.
One thing that hoarders are very, very good at is justifying their behaviors, however unreasonable those behaviors might be. No matter what we post here, your mother is going to find a way to dismiss it.
Instead, what I personally would do is set boundaries:
You might want to grab a copy of Children of Hoarders: How to Minimize Conflict, Reduce the Clutter, and Improve Your Relationship by Dr. Fugen Neziroglu. The book explores strategies for communicating with hoarder parents, and outlines practical intervention skills. It also shows readers how to let go of the personal shame and guilt associated with being the child of a hoarder.
If your mom has other behaviors that make you concerned about dementia onset, though...you might need to pursue that.
There is a whole new branch of mental health treatment taught through qualified and well-trained yoga therapists who specialize in trauma. If you're interested in it, the current gold standard for trauma treatment is laid out in some books:
The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Koch, MD
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity by Nadine Burke-Harris, MD
Overcoming Trauma through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body by David Emerson
Yoga for Emotional Balance: Simple Practices to Help Relieve Anxiety and Depression by Bo Forbes
It's becoming apparent that yoga is actually a massively useful tool in rooting out and treating trauma, which is often at the root of mental illness.
I get that you were making a comment about the way people tend to dismiss the pain of mental illness by saying "suck it up", but yoga therapy really is a great course of treatment.
Think about how breathing acts during bouts with anxiety or panic. Practicing yoga conditions and trains your body to slow down and bypass the trauma triggers and subsequent bodily response to keep you breathing instead of passing out or going into panic mode. And that's just one small benefit of practice.
Trauma is just now beginning to be understood by the greater medical community, and yoga with a trained therapist can make a world of difference.
Programs like this one are beginiing to help millions of people.
So the "get over it" part can go fuck itself, but if you suffer from anxiety, depression, or trauma-related mental illness, you really should keep hydrated and do yoga.
Free in the US too:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQWX9J7
Fuck You, 25
​
Finally got my paperback and kindle version connected. They failed to auto-sync on Amazon. I messaged the KDP Team and they were able to help right away~!
https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-Letting-Illness/dp/1572248386
The thing here that sticks out to me is that not once did you mention any specific thing that you enjoy doing or have a passion for.
Your goal was to make money and prove your dad wrong. That is not a sustainable way to direct your energy. I think it's very lucky that you were able to identify your problem as rooted in your dad and not money per se.
A lot of people pursue money as it's own means and own end and it ends up never being enough and it destroys them. You have to fail, sometimes spectacularly, to learn that kind of lesson and here you are, still young and in the prime place to learn from that mistake so don't feel bad.
I think you really need to sit back and try to figure out what really drives you. Why did you start an online company for example? There are a lot of ways to make money.
Why go that route specifically, and what did you sell? Were you drawn to that for some intrinsic reason other than you thought you'd make the most money that way or did you stumble on something that spoke to you and you were able to drive that to success because of passion? Generally, people aren't able to reach that level unless they're somehow interested in that field.
the short but powerful guide to finding your passion
coaching the artist within - this is geared towards artists but it starts out with trying to get you to find what you're passionate about and then lessons on mastering anxiety, mental blocks and fear of failure. It also sounds like you want to be self directed rather than on a career path which is similar to the 'artist life'.
Drive: The Surprising Truth about what Motivates us
Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength
Meditations
On the Shortness of Life
The Wisdom of Insecurity
The Art of Nonconformity:Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World
Things Might go Terribly, Horribly Wrong: A Guide to Life Liberated from Anxiety
Here are a few things to get you started. They don't have 'the answer' per se, but I think they'll go a long way in helping you reframe your idea of motivation, discipline, and how to deal with fear of failure. And get you started on the right path.
I will also add: do not be afraid to find a good therapist (preferably one trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) especially if you are still under 26 and are on your Mom's insurance.
I am not suggesting you have an illness from the DSM-V per se. However, I think any time you're unhappy and are struggling to reach goals, at a certain point that is a 'mental health issue' you need help with and a therapist is the ideal 'coach' to get you through it with tested and verified methods (and likely in a finite amount of meetings.)
Oh yes, can I write about panic attacks :) Mine weren't brought on by church issues, but I can share my story and give advice.
Brief back story first: I'm temporarily single-parenting 4 young children overseas while my husband works an ocean away for about 4 months. I am normally a very calm, competent, rational person and not prone to emotional outbursts or even emotional roller coasters. At all. I didn't cry when I got married. I didn't cry when my kids were born. I didn't even freak out when my 3rd baby was born before the midwife arrived and stopped breathing and I had to resuscitate her. That's the kind of calm person I am. Okay, now onto the main story...
About 4 weeks into our separation, I had these crazy symptoms--what I now know was a panic attack--that lasted all night long, persisted much of the next day, and lasted about half the next night. My symptoms were racing heart, heart palpitations, chest pain/pressure, waves of fear and adrenaline, sweating, dizziness, weakness, trembling, nausea, and full-body tingling. I thought I was having a heart attack and went into emergency care. They did an EKG, ran a huge battery of blood tests, and all they could tell me was "Nothing is wrong with your heart."
6 weeks later this happened again and lasted about 5 days. Again, I thought it was a heart attack and went in to emergency care. Same slew of tests, same lack of helpfulness in giving any answers other than that my heart was fine.
After this 2nd episode, it only took me 5 minutes with Dr. Google to figure out what it likely was. Panic attacks!
I had a 3rd attack lasting a few days and then a 4th attack soon after, again lasting a few days. I met with my family doctor and she confirmed my suspicions that I was experiencing panic attacks.
I'm normally not one to take medications, but as I was not sleeping and not functioning but still responsible for 4 young children, I was desperate.
She put me on 10 mg Paxil daily (SSRI/antidepressant) and bromazepam 1.5 mg as needed. Bromazepam is a mild sedative and at very small doses can calm down a panic attack. This with the goal of getting me through the last month until my husband returned.
For the first few days everything just slooooowed way down and the attacks mostly stopped. But then the Paxil sent me into a depression. The attacks started coming again nonstop. I felt numb and dark and very somber. And on top of that I stopped sleeping again. I started having dark thoughts. That freaked me out and immediately I knew I needed to change something.
So 10 days into the medications, I had a doctor come do a house call (a benefit of living in this particular European country! Doctors do house calls night or day!) He was amazing and spent an hour going over everything in great detail and exploring some additional possible somatic causes (low magnesium, for example).
He advised me to immediately stop Paxil, gave me an antihistamine to help me sleep (25 mg hydroxyzine aka Atarax/Vistaril), and generally was AMAZING. We are running some more blood tests and I'll get my results back in a few days.
By time I had the house call doctor come, I'd been working on doing lots of deep breathing and meditation to calm down the panic attacks. During the day I could generally stop the attacks really soon, but I was still having issues at night being woken up by a full-blown attack that just wouldn't calm down even with the bromazepam.
A few days ago I read a book about a counter-intuitive approach to panic attacks: Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks by Geert Verschaeve. It was amazing. Instead of trying to resist/stop/fight panic attacks by deep breathing or relaxation, you either
BEST ADVICE EVER. I've done all of the above strategies and all of them work. Bam.
It's been 5 days since that last doctor's house call. I made some drastic changes in my life (flew my MIL in from overseas to help with the kids until my husband comes back). I've been sleeping better and better and now have reduced the antihistamine to a half dose (otherwise I'm super groggy the whole next day--it's powerful!). The daytime attacks have stopped entirely and the night attacks got less and less. I haven't had a strong night attack at all for a few days. I've stopped using bromazepam entirely.
I know this is super long. If you got through it, thanks! But I want to leave you with this main message: your panic attack is your body desperately trying to keep you away from danger. Your body is trying to help you! Don't think of your body as your enemy or of the attacks as something you need to fight, to resist, or to stop. Instead, embrace the attacks and tell your body, sincerely, "Thank you so much for keeping me safe. Thank you so much. I'm okay, so you can stop freaking out. But thank you for caring so much about me." I had some nights where I'd repeat this over and over, feeling an immense amount of love for myself and especially my body (which, previously, I had described as my "enemy").
I really recommend How To Be Yourself -- it's firmly rooted in CBT and it covers all kinds of social interaction including public speaking.
I've been thinking about it. 2017 is definitely the year I make an actual attempt to solve my SA. I've started to work my way through this book.
For years I've been convinced that some people are social butterflys and some people are like me and that's just something I have to accept but seeing posts like this makes me more determined to commit to solving the problem whether by myself or with a therapist, thanks.
Thanks for the note! So, it basically boils down to being anxious about being anxious. Its a fairly common reaction people have after having a panic attack (for whatever reason) because those things are shit. Worst of all, it's a catch-22: you try not to be anxious about being anxious, but wind up being anxious about being anxious about being anxious! It really sucks. There are still things you can do to help, though. Like I said, I'm not a doctor or professional of any sort, but here are a few things you can do:
Breathing works really well for this, because just taking a moment to breathe deeply is actually counter-intuitive to the body in its anxious state. Taking a moment to take a breath will focus your mind on something else and break the cycle. Also, if that gif won't load or you want to try something a bit different: when you have anxiety, your body tends to try to take in as much oxygen as it can to be prepared to fight or run. Even if there's no discernable enemy. So, your breathing will be a short, deep inhale, and an even shorter exhale, leading to hyperventilation. One way to counteract this is to breathe in deeply as fast as you feel you need (it's a bit hard to control in the middle of a panic attack), but to make your exhale as long and slow as you can. So, you're changing your breathing pattern from this to this. Pretty sure I got this from a Ted talk or some blogger, but I can't find their charts, so I recreated them to the best of my knowledge. Here is another breathing pattern you can use.
Similarly, chewing something also can break the cycle. Carry a pack of gum or gummies with you. When we were cave people, we would hunt (high adrenaline, high anxiety), but we wouldn't eat until after the danger has passed and we were safe. So, eating or chewing something is a signal to your body that you are safe and time for anxiety is passed. It's saved me in a few tight spots, like job interviews (but make sure to spit out your gum before you go into the interview!).
Additionally, meditation, yoga, and being mindful of the feelings you're having in your body (ex. Tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach) without judging them - just recognizing they're there - can often put a bit of space between when something happens, and when anxiety starts to get to be too high. They can help you notice when your anxiety is starting to climb, identifying why you are anxious (maybe the situation you're in is similar to when you had that panic attack?), and taking steps to defuse that anxiety (breathing, gum, exercise, yoga, etc).
One thing you'll likely want to work on is being OK with having the sensation of anxiety on your body and how it manifests for you. I would suggest picking up some coping techniques like I mentioned above first, but once you have some of those mastered, you can meditate on the idea of having a panic attack - I.E. Sit down in a safe, quiet area, and think about when you had one last, and notice all the sensations that arise in your body because of it. Does your chest get tight? Hands get shaky? Maybe you get nauseous, or dizzy? Remember during this that you are safe and nothing can harm you where you are. Your heart may pound and your ears may roar, but you survived the last panic attack - your heart beating hard won't hurt you. Remember not to judge - these are just ways your body is trying to tell you "I don't like this situation." For some people, this kind of "meditation" / thought session can help them to face their fears about anxiety, and when they get anxious next, they are able to say "I've gone through this before, and I can do it again." Kind of like desensitization to the stimulus.
There are also guided meditations on youtube specifically designed for battling anxiety. You might give those a look.
Anxiety sucks donkey balls, but there are options to help. If you want some reading material to help, I highly suggest Hardcore Self Help: F*ck Anxiety by Robert Duff, Ph.D. - that is, only if you don't mind layman's and foul language. He curses like a drunk sailor (in terms of literature), but the advice within is solid. Additionally, they have a F*ck Depression book, too.
(Tried to bold the ideas of each paragraph in case you need to come back to be reminded of ideas that will help)
Edit: added some more breathing techniques.
Rooting for you :)
My advice: Immediately start with a regime of restorative yoga for 30 minutes a day, 3 times a week. Do this 4 weeks in a row an reevaluate how you feel.
http://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Emotional-Balance-Practices-Depression/dp/1590307607
http://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Anxiety-Meditations-Practices-Calming/dp/1572246510/ref=pd_sim_b_1
Probably not what you expected, but guess what? It works.
A few things. I've made some changes in my religious life as a Christian that I think have been very helpful. I started going to therapy, and was fortunate enough to get setup with an incredible therapist. I started taking medication, but I'm already weaning off one of the pills! This was a process though. They didn't get the right medication combo for me right away. I've increased the amount of time I spend at the gym. That burns a lot of nervous energy and is associated with a lot of other mental health benefits. Also, I got setup with a primary care physician who is quite special and who I really trust. He let me share with him all of my health concerns and let me set up a patient portal account to talk with it. This is a lot better than strangers in the ER and urgent care centers. I've also benefited from this book: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-Letting-Illness/dp/1572248386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498246765&sr=8-1&keywords=overcoming+health+anxiety
Let me know if I can be of further help. I've recovered enough to the point where I am really eager to give back. I'm grateful for all the help I've received on this subreddit. Sorry for the late reply!
Do you read much? You should check out this book
https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety/dp/1250161703
The author is a clinical therapist and she uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help combat social anxiety.
It’s really helped me put my anxiety in perspective and learn how to deal with it. I still have my bad days, but my social anxiety definitely feels a lot more manageable now.
For me psychoeducation has been key to improving my insight. I am a reader, so I'll recommend two for you, if you're interested.
First up, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I33KQGY/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
This one is a workbook that helps you figure out what your symptoms look like, what your triggers are, and presents some strategies for coping with them.
https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Guide-Second/dp/1606235427
This is a pretty comprehensive book. Have just started it, but I see it often recommended around the bipolar subreddits and I like it so far. It covers everything from medications to therapy methods, warning signs to strategies.
https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Worry-Parenting-Childhood-Anxieties-ebook/dp/B00BRUQ77W
This book is great for childhood anxiety.
They feed off of us and our energy. Pull your uncle aside and tell him to knock it off - enlist other family members for help with this if you need to. Get yourself some zen. Ask other family members to watch out for her for a while so you can go grab a coffee and recenter yourself.
Something that has stuck with me and that has always worked for me is to "be the calm chicken". I read a book called The Opposite of Worry about childhood anxiety that discussed a study done on chickens. A chicken will freak itself out with anxiety, which will freak out other chickens, who then freak out the others until they're all paralyzed with anxiety. One will slowly come around and start acting normal again if they feel it's safe, which will encourage others to also come around. The chickens look to the calm chicken for reassurance that it's safe and all is well. If all the chickens are freaking out, they will all continue to freak out. There has to be a calm chicken to calm everything down and reassure everyone. The same is true for children who deal with anxiety, and also, I've found, my LO with dementia and anxiety. They look to us to see if things are okay. Be the calm chicken. Meditate, get yourself grounded, and then be the calm chicken.
I deal with social anxiety. It tends to give me the most trouble when I need to make phone calls, so I feel your pain. In general, I've found that the best way to get over my anxiety is to get lots of practice doing the thing that sets me off. If you do it often enough, you'll teach yourself that you don't actually have anything to be nervous about. But, getting to that point, is hard, especially if you've managed to avoid the situation a bunch and learned how well avoidance works for not making you feel bad. You probably want to think that there's some magical way to get more comfortable without actually practicing, because practicing is painful.
It won't make the process painless, but learning to silence your inner critic helps. Start out by asking yourself what the worst thing that could happen on the call really would be. Maybe you'll say something wrong and someone will call you out on it? Maybe you'll forget to cover something and have to send out an update later? Once you have your specifics, ask yourself how bad that would really be. Maybe you'll feel really embarrassed about whatever happens, but it's really unlikely anything could happen in the space of a conference call that would get you fired. Keep it in perspective.
Most of this advice is straight out of the book, How to be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, which I recently read and found very helpful. It goes into detail on approaches for dealing with this sort of stuff, and gives examples of scientific studies that back some of it up. Before reading it, I spent a lot of time giving myself permission to avoid social situations that made me uncomfortable, but now I have more confidence that I can work through such things.
I have this issue with my mom. I can go as far as writing out a step-by-step plan for her to accomplish something, and unless I follow up or hold her hand for each step, it never gets done. She will like the plan and can see how it will work, but never has that follow-through ability.
It's hard threading that needle between enabling and supporting. Have you read any of the books suggested by this sub? I started Children of Hoarders (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00ECLGAKW/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o00_?ie=UTF8&psc=1) last week, and it has been very helpful so far.
24m here. I tottally feel for you my dude. I grew up with bad sweating on my hands and then it started to transition to armpits but the face is where I get it the worst now. Like somebody noted, it's the emotional and mental toll that it puts on a person. I've always had anxiety and my social anxiety got really bad to the point where I couldn't take certain paths because I didn't wana see people.
So your thinking is tottally right, the root of the problem is the anxiety. I went to therapy for literally this specific condition and it was a struggle at times because my therapist who was actually really good would always touch on the point that accepting it is the key to feeling somewhat good about this. Through CBT methods and looking at it as not as the enemy, I was less able to get less depressed of this "flaw" I had. One thing that helped me is putting myself in really uncomfortable social situations where I basically know I'd be sweating and one of the reasons I did that is after reading this book, https://www.amazon.com/Badass-Ways-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks/dp/9090305262
Definitely helped a ton and I recommend it to EVERYBODY in this community even for those who don't have anxiety induced sweating like myself.
The real change though started to happen when I was consistently meditating. Unfortunately, I've had to take a break from it because of vertigo case I've been dealing with it so I was actually put on Lexapro until the vertigo is cleared up (I can let you folks know how that is). But with the meditation is where i started to notice a real genuine effect. You start to see your sweating problem as not the enemy anymore and you in a way transcend into it. Meaning that you become one with it and you sorta embrace it as who you are.
This results in caring less and less about when you do sweat. Slowly, you evolve into not caring as much and you start to sweat less. But that's not the goal though, if you need to not sweat then there's always going to be resistance and that's going to be a problem. Try meditation (Headspace), some CBT methods (online), and reading that book. I'm curious how you respond. Please let me know after a few months how you're doing! :) best of luck and I'm still sweating but as long as you can feel better about it, that's all that matters!
You are ok. If you had a serious heart problem you would know. Go to the doctor and have a check up, talk to them about your anxiety too. They can recommend some solutions. I also recommend reading this book.
You may find something like this quite helpful, though I don't know if you have bipolar 1, 2 or cyclothymia: [The Bipolar II Disorder Workbook: Managing Recurring Depression, Hypomania, and Anxiety] (https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Workbook-Recurring-Depression-ebook/dp/B00I33KQGY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1525121648&sr=8-2&keywords=bipolar+workbook)
• Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!
I got this on a whim upon seeing the 5 star reviews, and I though, why not? It ended being an invaluable resource when I experienced a setback. It's a very casual, common sense, and at times humorous, approach to tackling anxiety. Read this, if nothing at all. The author also has an app with audio supplements as well as a weekly email with helpful tips you can subscribe to.
• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
This has tons of researched, science, and evidence-based information thats incredibly helpful. Definitely take the time to do the worksheets and practice. No matter how tedious, you can never do too much. Not to mention the fact that you can access to their online audio recordings once you register the book online. The audio files contain meditation, calming, and visualization techniques. The guided progressive muscle relaxation was a life saver before hitting the sack and waking up as calmly as possible. Tip: if you do fall asleep well after trying that, also try saying, "today is going to be a good day" the moment you wake up. It will drastically change how you approach your whole day, and helps with the onset of panic attacks.
• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Although this isn't geared towards anxiety, I found so many useful tools for approaching vulnerability and finding the bravery you need to go through the scary, dark parts of recovery. Very uplifting and enlightening.
• Notes on a Nervous Planet
I will simply quote a reviewer:
"As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, Matt's writings help in letting me know that I'm okay. This book is exactly what I needed to read. We are living in a time that is hard to understand and sometimes letting go is necessary, but not to the point of recklessness. Matt seems to always find the right way to pinpoint the struggles of many and he has the ability to make us feel as if we are wrapped safe in a warm blanket."
Not sure if this will help, as it sounds like you want to learn more about it rather than conquer it...
I've written two books on anxiety. The first is called Play It Away, it was featured in Fast Company and Tony Robbins called it "The cure to your stress." The second book is coming out next month.
If you don't want to buy the book, you can read one of the posts I've written on the topic:
Other fantastic books on conquering anxiety: Outwitting the Devil, As A Man Thinketh, The Detox Book, Play, The Miracle of Fasting.
These are all very normal things to have anxiety about. I KNOW how hard it is, trust me. I do promise you that it will be OK no matter what happens. I'm going to reccomend a book I read recently that has helped me a ton. Whenever I get to feeling like this, I read a bit of this book and its like the author just "gets" people like us. Slow down, breathe it will be OK. Very normal things to have anxiety about but this will help you keep it all in perspective. Even if you don't have what you would classify as a panic attack per say, the book is an absolute life changer. It hits on several of the specific things you hit on in your post (Am I over-reacting, am I not good enough, am I not qualified, no one would hire me, etc.). It's all in there. It helped me so much. https://www.amazon.com/Badass-Ways-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks/dp/9090305262/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540500534&sr=8-1&keywords=badass+ways+to+end+anxiety+%26+stop+panic+attacks
Although not terrible in the same way, I bought this book https://www.amazon.com/Play-Away-Workaholics-Cure-Anxiety/dp/0615918174
Based on a really good blurb on amazon. The book wasn't very good but early on the author confesses to having been a successful PR guru who has helped launch other successful books. This is obviously why the book seemed good based on advertising.
Hello.
I reduced the price of my first book to tie in with all the Black Friday deals. Why Am I Scared? Face your fears and learn to let them go, is a self help book for anyone who struggles with fear, imposter syndrome or needs confidence. It include a full section of self help techniques including visualizations, emotional freedom techniques and a little NLP. It's on offer for 99 cents for the kindle version also available in audio and print. Link to book on amazon
I hear you. Therapy can be prohibitively expensive! I was told she used mainly ACT with a bit of DBT thrown in. The workbooks she "prescribed" were this and this . I actually have found the DBT book more helpful. It has a lot of great coping ideas for when you're in panic mode.
I think that you're going to need to get your anxiety under control before going to any school is really going to work out. Yes, it is possible to do an all-online degree but what are you going to do then? You'll need to work in an office or facility. Instead you might have to visit people. You'll have to go to meetings. Better to address it now. The next bit of advice I have for you is not to let your parents overrule what medical professionals are saying you need. So, start the drugs again and allow a couple of months before you decide that they aren't working. If there is no change, other drugs should be tried and perhaps you should ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. You should be seeing a therapist if you can since they can give you tools and exercises to help manage your anxiety. If that's out of reach, there are books you can get that provide a version of the same thing. Here's one. Here's another one.
You sound pretty normal to me. Schizophrenia goes beyond all that. I would describe myself similar to how you described yourself and I would bet a large majority of people on Reddit would if they were being honest. But, most are not. Something I concluded from my wife and several other very well-adjusted people out in the real world who don't spend a lot of time online is that people online have problems. Like, serious problems. But, of course, they don't admit that to anyone because they're always telling other people online how pathetic everyone else is. They make snap judgements about people they don't know and put them down to feel better about themselves, apparently. So many of them will argue endlessly or downvote over nothing; this is stuff people who never post online wouldn't even think is worth bothering with at all. They think it's nerdy and absurd. They're right. Onliners are some of the most miserable people on the planet.
So, my point is, if you are withheld in everyday life, but talk to people a lot online, you're going to have a skewed idea of reality. Most people are pretty goofy and just want to be normal, so they want their friends to be normal because they don't know how to react to abnormal. Why do you think it's so common to sit around and talk about sports? It's about the easiest thing to do so long as you've put the minimal effort required to have this "normal" everyday interaction with your fellow humans. You have to know basic bullshit about teams and players and scores so you can sit around and have meaningless conversations about who will win and how good or bad the teams/players/seasons are. Think about how fucking trivial that is. If it doesn't appeal to you at all because it's basically meaningless, then that's why you feel like an alien pretending to be human. But, do it enough and you'll stop filling your head full of ruminating thoughts that make you feel "weird." Your head will be full of "normal" stuff like what a great quarterback so-and-so is. And you'll know you're normal because you can have the same conversation with your barber, butcher, or bartender and everyone will agree this is a normal thing to be fixated on for some reason. Sports!
Something I learned recently is rumination leads both to the artistic temperament and to anxiety and depression. If you're wired to be the ruminating type who analyzes stuff, you're wired to have these kinds of feelings. They're the same kinds of feelings that could cause you to write a great screenplay or novel or become a successful illustrator, designer, etc. But, don't doubt yourself too much in relation to other people. They're just interested in different things than you are. David Bowie felt like an alien. Most comedians and musicians felt like weirdo outsiders. Plenty of famous actors, too.
But, if you continue to make an issue of how you feel, it will get worse and maybe you will have a schizophrenic break (probably not, but maybe), so don't do that. It won't make you feel good to fixate on how different you feel unless you're an egomaniac who prides himself on that. In which case, you'd make a great hoity toity art snob type! I think it's common for people to become schizophrenic by their 30s but not too common after their 30s. I don't know all the details, but I'm pretty sure it's related to stress, genetics play some role, and usually the person was put in a double-bind during the developmental stage where he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't by oppressive parents. Schizophrenia is pretty common among Jehovah's Witnesses.
I'm not a psychiatrist and I'm not trying to play one. I'm just sharing what I've learned from living through the situation. My friend and I were very similar personality-wise, but I left and went on to college and he stayed around and felt stuck. He had certain fears he didn't conquer and he finally snapped. He also had parents that put in him a double-bind and he came from a Jehovah's Witness household.
By the way, even though 90% of self-help books are useless garbage, I've heard really good things about this book: https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B074ZPCH67/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1543598808&sr=1-3&keywords=how+to+be+yourself ...so much so that I took it out of the library recently and started reading it. It seems quite good right away, but I just barely started it.
Gotta love the addict brain. I'll say (though I bet you know by now) that it's hard to just take away that stimulation; you need to replace it with something less destructive. Likewise you can't just have motivation, you need to be motivated to do something!
That said, my point is actually that I totally identify with having a lot of self analysis that doesn't seem to lead anywhere (along with much else you've said)... Right now I'm mostly through reading The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, which I think I might've seen on this sub actually? It tackles head on the disjunction between the thinking self and the doing self, and though it can get a bit out there at times I've found there's a TON of wisdom if you'll look for it. I've been reading just a bit at a time going to/from work most days (like 10-20 pages) and every time I feel like I'm getting more in touch with both who I want to be and who I actually am. Highly recommended.
In the end, just try not to stress about it. Do what you can... because that's all you can do! I love my addict brain, it's taught me to appreciate everything in life to the fullest, even the craziest beautiful lows. We've just gotta learn to apply that passion in a productive way. Good luck!
I totally get where you're coming from. The sad thing is, many people don't. They just call us hypochondriacs and laugh about it, but it's terrifying when you're going through a crisis, whether it's going to kill you or not.
I think it's very interesting that you mentioned your own health from a few years ago and how your anxiety might've been heightened because of that. I'm pretty sure you've found the cause! My own anxieties about my health started when a) my friend died of cancer and then b) I got cancer myself (all good now, yay!). So there's reality within those fears, but the fears we have are starting to take over and that's not cool. Like "yeah, I get it, brain, you're trying to help me survive by worrying about my health" but seriously, our brains need to slow. down.
If you're open to it, I have a book that really helped me get through my health anxiety that I don't mind sending to you. It's this one: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Health-Anxiety-Letting-Illness/dp/1572248386/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1481929952&sr=8-3&keywords=health+anxiety
I read the first few pages and I was like, wow, this author really understands my way of thinking. Let me know if you'd like a copy - maybe a book isn't the miracle cure but it does make you stop and think about the way our behavior is shaped by our thinking, and I found that really powerful.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQWX9J7 - US link! Sorry, it only let's me submit one link :)
Hey I'm gonna copy paste my post that I wrote to other redditor:
HEY Tried to read some book about insomnia with cbt like this one
You should try to have a better Sleep Hygiene:
You can use Stimulus Control to teach your body that the bed it's only for sleep (and sex):
*wake up at the same time and do not take naps
Sleep restriction:
Example:
TIB: Total Time in Bed
TST: Total sleep Time
Date | Time in Bed| Falls Sleep | Wake | Time Out of Bed | TIB | TST
---|---|----|----|----|----|----
Mon | 10 pm| 11:30 pm| 3:30 am| 7:00 am| 9 hrs | 4 hrs
Tues | ----| ----| ----| ----| 10 hrs | 6 hrs
Wed | ----| ----| ----| ----|8 hrs|7 hrs
Thurs | ----| ----| ----| ----|14 hrs| 12 hrs
Fri | ----| ----| ----| ----|6 hrs | 2 hrs
----| ----| ----| ----| Totals:|47 hrs | 31 hrs
47 hrs / 5 (days) = 9.4 hrs (average time in bed)
31 hrs / 5 (days) = 6.2 hrs (average time in sleep)
9.4 / 6.2 = 66%
You should aim for + 80% (sleep efficiency or 80% of your time in bed spent sleeping)
You new bed time would be 1 am if you need to wake up at 7:00 am (instead of 10 pm) to induce sleepiness.
You're not sleeping less than what you do now. You're sleeping the same average
And you can use techniques from cbt to refute thoughts like:
It's normal to wake up several times
Im sorry for the long ass post. I want to help you and at the same time I'm remebering what I have learn about cbt with insomnia. What I wrote are the basics but reading a book gives you a better idea of what to do with your insomnia.
For years I have not slept well and now I have been doing these exercises and techniques and I feel better. Only need to persist
I hope it gets better for you
Here are some great books on how to become less anxious and create healthier habits, which are full of specific, actionable advice.
The Upward Spiral (costs $10, but EXTREMELY worth the money imo. There is also a workbook that just came out.)
Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety (free to read for Kindle Unlimited)
I would suggest creating a self care routine that you make a daily habit. Start with a small morning ritual and a small evening ritual, and gradually build it out from there. Things like walking, yoga/stretching/exercise, hydrating, cleaning your space, etc. can be game-changers if you do them consistently.
A really great book on creating habits like this is Atomic Habits by James Clear. For me and my partner, life-changing. (The book is worth it, because it is systematic - perfect for 'checklist people', but you can get a lot from just browsing his website too.)
Depending on who I'm talking to I'm either an atheist or a a Buddhist because they are good shorthand. I generally avoid telling people anything because I feel that spirituality is extremely personal and isn't always meant to be shared. My beliefs on Buddhism are also based almost entirely on the works of Alan Watts (link to one of his books at the bottom).
I was raised in a very conservative Christian environment but went through all kinds of different phases after rejecting it. For a while a practiced witchcraft and ceremonial magick, studied christian mysticism, Kabbalah, shamanism, and was even part of a Chaos Magick group for some time(interestingly virtually every person in this group was an INFJ or INTJ). These things no longer play a major role in my life but to claim that I have left them behind would be dishonest. The ideas and beliefs, or rather the malleability of ideas and beliefs, that I encountered during this part of my life still affect every part of who I am. I won't try and justify any of this logically, all I can say is that it is a type of study that some people are naturally drawn to and they have to be really careful to not get lost in self delusion. The best way I can describe "Magick" is that it is the study of the nature of reality and the power of symbols in the human psyche.
Today my main form of spiritual practice is just meditation and automatic writing. I meditate anywhere from half an hour to an hour a day and It has more benefits than I could have ever imagined. I am more effective at everything I do, I'm more focused, I'm more confident, I rarely get depressed, my temper never flairs up, I'm more patient, I'm better at dealing with people, I'm now almost completely unaffected by other people's emotions etc... Automatic writing just means writing as fast as you can without consciously thinking about what you are putting down on the paper. The only goal here is to learn about yourself and dig into your beliefs. All of us have an incredible amount of unhealthy beliefs about every part of life and they can be replaced. I have also came across very interesting ideas and poetry this way. This is very personal and It's benefits are very personal. I cannot guess what someone else would learn about themselves by doing a similar practice.
This only scratches of the surface, but today the main belief I try and live by is that everything is one and my identity is an illusion. There is only one experience or one event that makes up the entirety of the universe. Practically it just means that everything is "environment". My "identity" is implied by the environment and the environment is implied by my identity, infact to divide the two is a logical fallacy. An itch, my idea's, a door, my roommate's emotions, a tree, and the sun are all really the same thing- environment, God, universe, experience, Ubik etc... There is only one experience and bliss can only be enjoyed by complete acceptance and love of the experience.
If you are curious about this idea check out The Book: On Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts and/or The Wisdom Of Insecurity.
I'm also willing to discuss, to the best of my ability, anything else I wrote here.
From what I've learned, OCD is successfully treated the same no matter it's theme. That treatment being exposing yourself to whatever is making you anxious and accepting the uncertainty of your feared consequences. For example, if you think that a robber will come into your house and rob you if you don't keep checking the door, then you would lock the door once and resist the compulsion to go and constantly re-check while also accepting the uncertainty that a robber just MIGHT come in at night and steal your valuables. Believe me, I know, easier said than done. There is really great literature I want to point you to, the one I've found to be the most useful is this one: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized-ebook/dp/B00DYX9PX8/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1527412576&sr=8-4&keywords=overcoming+obsessive+compulsive+disorder by Dr. Jonathan Grayson and I'm only maybe 5 chapters in. The more you understand how OCD works the easier it will be for you to overcome it. I'm reluctant to speak on your specific situation because we're not supposed to be "diagnosing" people on Reddit or giving medical advice. But I can point you to a couple more resources as well if you'd like :)
Have you read this book?
https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Step/dp/1497584566
It really helped me. I used to feel like that. Just so nervous whether I was going to a shop pour just standing at the bus stop and feeling this intense stress and anxiety as a bus full of people would drive past. It can be cured.
Here is the mobile version of your link
This book has been very helpful to me:
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized-ebook/dp/B00DYX9PX8
I highly recommend it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077ZFXRXP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_SUDpDbGCS5Z3W
Awesome. I'll hit you up when I can check out the show tonight. Thanks! Btw, the book is free this weekend, so if you'd rather have a legit download than the pdf review copy: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NDO429U
Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:
amazon.com
amazon.co.uk
amazon.ca
amazon.com.au
amazon.in
amazon.com.mx
amazon.de
amazon.it
amazon.es
amazon.com.br
amazon.nl
amazon.co.jp
amazon.fr
Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.
Reminds me of the cover of this book, except the angle is better:
http://www.amazon.com/Play-Away-Workaholics-Cure-Anxiety/dp/0615918174/ref=la_B00IAVMZJ0_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406661268&sr=1-1
I can strongly recommend this CBT approach targeted against social exposure. Very effective: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-2nd/dp/1472120434/ref=sr_1_16?keywords=shyness+social+anxiety&qid=1568587979&sr=8-16
This book will walk you through exactly what to do to deal with these thoughts.
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized-ebook/dp/B00DYX9PX8/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1
Welcome to my current daily struggle.
I tend to do most of my overthinking at work so I play podcasts and/or videos through headphones to help my brain stay busy there. Outside of work, I also try to keep myself busy with things to do and will exercise if it is an EXTREMELY high anxiety day (I've found that that can help, even though I hate it).
If you are really struggling, maybe an anxiety workbook could help you. My understanding is that it helps you differentiate your worry thoughts about hypothetical situations from valid concerns. I JUST started one to try to get a grips on my overthinking so I can't swear by it yet but I can see it's potential. I personally got this one on Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Generalized-Anxiety-Disorder-Workbook-Comprehensive/dp/1626251517 .
How long would you be depressed for after? I find myself feeling ashamed and frustrated, usually lasts for a few hours. Once that passes I'm usually able to think about things more rationally.
I'd recommend this [book](overcoming social anxiety and shyness, 2nd edition: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques (Overcoming Books)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1472120434/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_pXW7Bb9MATEHT). I found it astounding that so much of it applied to me, and took some comfort in the fact that we're not alone.
For social anxiety, you might also find this book useful.
Hey, I'm currently working through this book and I'm finding it helpful. It's supposed to accompany an online therapy series but the book alone is helping me, it deals a lot with negative thinking, and with how our brains got all messy :) For me understanding that stuff is helping me to be more positive, might help you too.
Mmm, try turning off the computer at sundown and turning off most of the lights around you. Artificial light can prolong wakefulness. I'm going to sleep, so good night buddy.
If you have the cash, there's this therapist workbook that's been helping me.
The Generalized Anxiety Disorder Workbook: A Comprehensive CBT Guide for Coping with Uncertainty, Worry, and Fear (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbooks)
http://www.amazon.com/Generalized-Anxiety-Disorder-Workbook-Comprehensive/dp/1626251517/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1458627496&sr=8-1&keywords=generalized+anxiety+disorder+workbook
Stick with it, it explains and challenges the beliefs that lead to anxiety and worrying. If you work through it you'll reach a point where the book guides you into doing real-life experiments to test and change your basic beliefs.
It's been helping me out quite a bit lately, it's helped me go outside more and I'm actually working on getting a job now.
I think it'd really be a good for you.
Thank you! I'm going to read it. I'm reading this right now: https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Alan-W-Watts-ebook/dp/B005YNPBH0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536325780&sr=8-1&keywords=insecurities+alan+watts it's pretty good also if you're interested :)
Sorry to hear keto isn't really viable for you. If it makes you feel better, it really didn't help me. Maybe I didn't do it long enough, since I gave up when it started making me feel tired and shitty, but it was just not worth it.
If it'd be a strain, don't do push ups. It could be bad for your elbows. Instead, do planks. Just holding yourself up can be a very good exercise. I've only recently gotten into them, because I need a way to work out my abs outside the gym and apparently sit ups aren't great for your lower back, where I've had problems in the past.
Another idea: gentle yoga. There're some youtube sessions out there that can really get you sweating without straining yourself. I did it early on when I was trying to lose weight and it was helpful.
I actually got a book as a gift a few years back that you could get into. Yoga for Emotional Balance. Most of it is about calming anxiety or finding comfort in depression (poses where you hug a pillow as an example), and I don't remember much focus on things that would help in my mania, but our manias tend to be rather different IIRC. You could also see about asking for an interlibrary loan for it (probably cheaper and just as helpful).
How big is your snake, and what's its name?
And I know how that can be, hence comparing exercise in depression to naked exercise in antarctic winter with pneumonia. No judgment from me on that.
You don't have prostate cancer. You are too young. What you definitely have is an anxiety disorder.
[https://www.amazon.ca/Generalized-Anxiety-Disorder-Workbook-Comprehensive/dp/1626251517&ved=2ahUKEwid99C14fvlAhXDm-AKHWnWBKoQFjAOegQICxAB&usg=AOvVaw3lgZT8qWX7DRK5iV9cAfOe](Buy this)
Buy the workbook. See a therapist. SSRIs can help.
Life will be better
Getting a therapist is a must, but I would also recommend this book:
The Opposite of Worry
I'm also bipolar, specifically Bipolar II with rapid cycling. With type II, unlike type I, you can be manic and depressed at the same time (which tends to present as irritable). You should speak with your psychologist about it. Also, this is a helpful book I have found about Bipolar II. http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Workbook-Recurring-Depression-ebook/dp/B00I33KQGY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425836708&sr=8-1&keywords=bipolar+ii+disorder+workbook
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment-ebook/dp/B0197SJPYC/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8
This is an excellent book on how to learn to live with anxiety and not let it rule your life. Bear in mind that this is a workbook, it has many excercises that you have to be proactive about in order for the method to work. If you only want something to read this is not the book you are looking for.
Sounds like too much time in bed. It’s counter-intuitive, but you’d likely get higher quality and less fragmented sleep if you spent less time in bed.
This book might be helpful:
End the Insomnia Struggle
Alternatively, a good cognitive behavioral therapist who specializes in insomnia good be really helpful.
Good luck!